The red pill or the blue pill ðŸ’Š

I feel like gizmo popping out gremlins if I eat after midnight. But I have a cookie problem. 

Part of the taking psych meds issue for me is I don’t want to mask the problem. I mean I do cause I don’t want to hear or see this crap. But I’m not sure if not hearing or seeing them and “raising my vibrations” will make them go away since as I have discovered, they have been here through it all, high vibes only attacking when I was at my lowest.

So part of me wants to know these Archon’s are here or attached to me and the other part wants to just cancel it all out. But there is no real guarantee that the pills work.

I find that these Archon’s are VERY much embedded in our psychology. What we thing is “subconscious” may not be if you are fully aware. Even as I write this blog post (or any of them), I am aware of the influences of the Archon, I also know my intention so that is why they are able to influence. But I am not going to be petty. I pick my battles a try to stay focused on the main goal, so if Archon jelly fish wants to act like thesaurus.com. and try influence what adjective I use already knowing my stream of thought then fine. Whatever who cares.

I doubt their mission is to be every psychological disorder in the world accompanied by thesaurus.com.

So when it comes to psychology where is the separation? What is Archon influence, and what part is actually me. 

Or is it the simplest thoughts the smallest intention of thought is then blown up into the most grandest scheme of fuckery. 

Example: I’m thinking about getting something g to drink,  then the Archon comes in and maybe flashes an image of my father working at the kitchen table and then brings shame to me because I’m not wearing a bra. THATS MY FATHER! I’ve already wasn’t wearing a bra, and that’s my father and I’m sure he doesn’t give a shit. The only purpose is to bring sick images and shame. Not to actually be “modest”. Its like some sick twisted Fruedian shit and we are soooooooo well past Frued apparently the Archon’s didn’t get the fucking memo.

So even what we THINK psychology is, my in fact be extremely flawed. Of course we learn things. Someone else’s fear or in comfortability we take it as truth or maybe our own. What we think is subconscious is conditioning being exploited. 

I just know that every psychological and social conditioning whether it was my own or someone else’s was EXPLOITED AS FUCK.

Anyway that’s my thoughts from today. 

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Talking Anonymous 💋

I have a problem y’all. 

I can’t stop talking to this demon. I’ve mentally cussed this demon out going on two years in January. It was the only way to protect myself. 

I’ve befriended and betrayed in the same day over and over and over.

Always having a come back, always smacking down the lies got me this far, which is alive and not utterly delusional. I was able to defend myself from falling into yet another rabbit hole when the other rabbit hole finally made no sense.

But I can’t stop, before it would “mind control” and “suggest thoughts” (the next thing to say) through flashes images or “subconscious”. It still does. Maybe not as much as it use to. But it did. But I still can’t seem to stop talking to it…   Or responding.

I’ve gone a couple of days to with out but end up breaking my silence emotionally. 

Now when I talk to an actual human, I’m like jibber jabbering them to death just happy not to be telepathically communicating some psycho demon.

I can meditate, I can be quiet. But I still can’t seem to stop defending myself and talking to this demon. 

And the meds.. .. My friend said I shouldn’t take meds…. But I want it to stop. But there are so many mixed reviews on meds and time span they took to work. Meds seem like the only way to stop communications for now but I don’t want to stay on them. But then I don’t want to be opening Pandoras box if I stop taking them as well. 

Thieves in the Temple ðŸ‘‘

If God wasn’t a loving and forgiving God do you think that these evil things would exist?

For whatever reason all creations exist as is ….. And have the choice and opportunity to evolve past its “nature”. 

What we currently think is our nature is conditioning. We could be living in caves…. But we have “evolved” to houses. But some how racism and sexism and sexual violence ect is just seems SO FAR past our reachability over the say million years.

It is the same as these Entities. I’ve said this before. If God wanted to wipe out these Entities with the snap of a cosmic finger God could. If they are from the firery pits of hell,. .  .. Then why are they here, or how do they have access to humans? Maybe these were lies we were told. Maybe humans were told this lie to keep them from committing “crimes” or “sin”. Sin is only relative to the human experience. So what laws do “Entities” have to abide by? Cause they seem pretty lawless to me. 

Clearly everything exists with in its nature. And to some extent I have accept that these Entities exist with in their own nature. Not something I personally want to observe. But I am currently forced to watch. I do NOT have to accept them as my own nature unless they choose to actually do so. And that is a major deception that human beings must evolve past. Understanding what is true human nature and what is not. 

I would assume that Entities have the same opportunity to evolve with the limits of “free will”. That is a choice they must make for themselves individually and as a whole.

I have many thieves in my temple. Telling me I’M the thief, when humans are innately self preserving. Whatever it is that they are here for, it is not theirs to have.

Maybe I’m too logical for this world. 

Got Weed? 🌴

Where the weed at?

So last night I smoked some weed to see what will happen. Just two or three puffs. Lol it doesn’t take much. I always wondered how my friends could smoke a whole L to the head but whatever.

So smoking almost immediately the voice went into scary mode unlike when I take an edible. Edibles tend to be more popped out. I didn’t “feel” as high as I normally do. When I smoke usually I feel opened up. Exposed to the world. I’ve even felt that way with this Entity completely sober. So its strange.

This time though when I say it went in IT WENT IN to try to scary me. This time felt more like mind control. It was a constant bombardment of EVERYTHING being related back to child abuse. It stated off with the Entity saying, “It….. Was ….. A-pparent………….. To me” trying to suggest that I was this demons mother and hurt it in a past life or some bullshit. And I just smoked my weed and gave it a big NAH.

Kept trying to convince me in every possible way, almost like it did when it tried to convince me it was God. It was like a very strong feeling. And I wasn’t budging. So I decided to watch Once Upon A Time….. And I mean this demon was relating EVERYTHING to child abuse. The most innocent of details…. To the whole storyline. Its almost like i had this Entity just streamed thoughts of child abuse in a mind control manner and just was like NOPE. It was twisting it make it seem like there was even an aundertone of child abuse. And I was just like NOPE NOPE NOPAh! Not falling for any of the bullshit.

Even my dream once i went to sleep, though there where no images, the entiry tried to give a “theme” of child abuse, it almost felt separate like it didn’t even go with the dream but interjected in this strange way, like a tick. It was woa intense. But I’m not falling for any of it.

Not this life, not past life, no other dimensions….. Its a NO!

Either way I might smoke some more just to see how stupid this Entity Demon gets. Not because I necessarily want to talk about child abuse ever again in my life.

This is like mental/ spiritual gentrification. 

Kiss my ass demon!

Questions? 🌍

So like hella writers, leaders, teachers, scientists, artists, people who have “advanced” civilization in some way, many were/are hella racist, sexist, classist, homophobic, ect ect……. 

And I’m sitting here wondering if they supposedly advanced humanity can we trust their work?

This was sparked after reading a quote about hilter that Jung made. Something about how hilter was a mouthpiece for what whispered through Germans souls.

While, I CAN take the best and leave the rest. Can we trust someone, who in some ways may have been a Nazi sympathizer, construct frameworks for our mode of understanding and thinking and or psychological make up?

I think you get where I am going with this. Its everywhere and it’s overwelming. Its like can capitalism ever evolve or be fixed when the foundations snd roots are based in racist and imperial thought?

Same with science.

We need thinkers who can override this shit. From science, psychology, religion, governing, invention. We are all sitting here arguing shit, hoping it will change and all it takes is one dude to come out the woodwork to set us back 100 years.

Just saying. 

Mental Illness Olympics ðŸ†

In a way I feel like I have the worse form of “mental illness”. Schizophrenia, is like being on every drug possible, all the while hearing a voice that will call you a fuck up in every possible way. Its like watching every other mental illness play out in your head and you have no control. And you feel you body burning, your head tightening, your brain getting too big for your skull, and an audiance of non helpful shadows and angels floating around you. It is crippling, it is debilitating, it is not sexy, nor fun, it ruins everything you love, and no one gets you because its that diverse and uniquely tailored to each individual life.

Maybe I am fucked up, but I feel like anxiety, depression and certain forms of PTSD are more “socially acceptable”. Like there is more talk about that. Like those are the easy ones to talk about.

Then there is bipolar which everyone makes fun of because apparently every dudes ex-girlfriend was bipolor just because she was on the rage and he’s a fucking misogynistic douche bag that equate all feelings from women to a mental illness.

Then there are the quirky OCD, strange phobias and which is waaaaaaaaay way more socially acceptable.

Of course then there are the other disorders that really suck and may be the actual root of the said depression, anxiety or suicidal thoughts. But we don’t talk about them because that’s too deep. Be honest with you my therapist barely wanted to talk about this shit. Anytime I talked about what was actually happening to me she would stop me to make sure I knew “it wasn’t real”. And she would opt for talking about how my family was doing. Like I don’t have a place to even truly unload this shit, and like I really want anyone to hear this shit, or for to even ever have existed. But wtf am I suppose to do? 

Seriously I seriously feel like I had the whole fucking psychological book thrown in my head. I don’t know if other Schizo’s feel like this but it literally feel like every disorder, delusion, phobia and syndrome alll rolled up into one none stop living  nightmare.

And its not talked about, but its fucking crazy, it feels crazy. And much as you want to share the craziness there is nothing to hold on to…. It doesn’t make sense. Even if you tried to make sense. There is no sense to be made from the voice in your head.

I told my friend finally that I have schizophrenia, and he told me “you’re  strong”, “you will get through it”. But I’m over here worried that there is nothing to “get through” this is my life, and sleeping all day trying to avoid conscious images of child abuse or to avoid killing myself does not feel like i am strong. I don’t know if there is a nother side to this. This maybe my life forever. 

I’ve always been the kind a person to really push through some hard shit. I just can’t with this one. I can barely even think. All I can do is write how my soul is constantly being raped. 

So YAY I got the worse one! 

Tried to be a good personal and all I got was this schizophrenia!

FML.

Fact Checking

I have always been more of an intuitive learner. Which means I do not blindly accept the information given to me, question intuitively, and if interested or even possible do a simple Google search to come to a conclusion. 

There are so many lies in this world it a wonder we have any wits about us. Even more so, we are all mostly linked to the internet via our phones or computers and we scroll through multiple inputs of information with in minutes.

People are worried about false news but not these “inspirational” or political quote memes. 

A few friends posted alleged Albert Einstein quotes and intuitively I did not feel these were quotes from our man Albert.

I mean they are poignant qoutes, but why attached them to someone it did not come from. If its paraphrasing it may be an opinion but just say that. More or less I feel this is more about “click baiting” or receiving more likes and share via social media. 

Its like yea you now carry this supposed quote of Einstein’s in your mind and its a lie. It wasn’t meant for you to really have greater understanding of Albert’s work or any intelligence. But more to feed the ego of likes and shares on social media. 

They have done this Einstein, Rumi, Buddah and I sure many other inspirational and intelligent minds. Just attribute some random quote to pawn off as fact. 

Do you think either of them would want that? Do you think either would want you to blindly believe?

Its like everything in this world is a lie. Its sad. Down to our own minds. It’s really sad.

Then we wonder how we have mass hysteria with phenomenons such as the “Mandela Effect”, media/ social media using lame tactics to allow our ignorance to steep to knee lows. The psychology of social media in an age where everyone has access. I’m not gonna go to deep into that just yet. But our beliefs and psychology can and have clearly been tampered with. 

Some people get upset and see it as me bing arrogant or pompous, but really just digging for the truth, and maybe hopefully learning something along the way, and sharing for our greater knowledge. Your choice in the end. 
So NO Buddha didn’t say that shit. 

“JIM CARREY “CRAZY” BEHAVIOR EXPLAINED!!

Dont get me wrong, i love a good “woke” piece. The thing that I guess I don’t understand is this particular blogger says that many of the teachers such as Jesus knew that they were”not the things they precieve”, and yet the blogger goes on to talk about the nothingness. 

But there is also an assertion of self as I AM. Many have asserted. …  How does this assertion relate to the nothingness that we are?

Good video. But it looses me a bit in the end. As much as the “nothingness” is get to ponder, there is still a material world. Just because we MAY be nothingness in a material world do we “absolve” ourselves of responsibility? 

I would say NO, and considering the state of the world, we are in a crisis. But because it is overwhelming, because true peace is just outside of our grasp. We can sit here and contemplate the nothingness of what we may or may not be.

Yackety Yack (mind chatter)

(This is from a kundalini group I’m in. Fuck Yickety Yack!)

​Have found this post, one of a few from what seems to be a very clear seeing man.  Name, lance kelly. Yackety Yack

The talker inside the head has a mantra – yackety yack, yackety yack. From morning until night yackety yacks about nothing in particular until, exhausted, it temporarily withdraws to yack some more on the periphery of sleep. Upon awakening afresh to a new day, yackety is already up and about, harping on about this and that or stoking up some grainy emotional syrup for a breakfast feed. Yackety loves to give to others and often emanates a dark mood or noxious cloud so that family or loved ones can share in the fun.
The yacker revels in the busyness of the day, and in the workplace is content for a while focusing on the job at hand. But at morning break yackety is unleashed, complaining of being stressed out and snowed under with work. However, boredom or the cessation of thought is simply intolerable to it for, without the momentum of the mind, the yacking grinds to a halt. This is extremely rare except in those incredible moments when something happens through grace and the surface mind is stilled, and briefly there is nothing but the presence of love. Yackety would protest that it loves, unable to perceive beyond its personal attachments and opinions that are self-made impressions of its limited perspective of life.
The world is full of yackety yack. This includes contributions from political yackers, professional yackers, military yackers, media yackers, religious yackers and, of course, celebrity yackers. The drone of the combined yacking in the world can be heard chattering throughout the cosmos. It’s a racket that, fortunately, our galactic neighbours are able to switch off.
Intelligence arises in the body from birth as a necessary means of establishing the memory and an inner landscape in which to make sense of the environment. This intelligence of the body is the ego, whose job is to ensure the survival of the organism. What has happened is that with no defence against the emerging pressure for sensual experience, the yacker has usurped the ego’s identity to ensure the survival of not only the physical body but also the emotional body of self. It now holds the entire world to ransom.
Most people have yackety yacking all the time, unaware that what is thinking or talking through them is an impostor of imperceptible stealth and cunning. With its usurpation of the mind and emotions of the human race, it is the real dictator of the world. Mastering the thinker and banishing the yackety yacking inside the head is imperative for the peace of mind that people strive to attain. Recognising the enemy is the first step in eliminating this insidious possession from the underworld; it will not relinquish its position easily.

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