TV on the Radio: Opposite World. πŸ“Ί “Stranger Things”

I have spoken about opposite world for a while now. It was a big part of the “delusion” I was dragged into. You can prolly search my blog and find a few posts. 

The more I went into occult groups on facebook trying to understand what was happening to me, was it a spell, voodoo, abilities, was abucted, a puppet, possessed by body snatchers, the more i was met with all these occultist would keep talking about the balance of dark and light. That “as above so below“. Honestly they are the only ones that speak about this, so I doubt they are getting raped and molested by demons so its easy for them to talk about “balancing the darkness”, because its only relatative to the illusionary power or “knowledge” they think they have. Or that anyone that wasn’t aware of the dark…. Or generally happy was a “spiritual bypasser”. 

It took me a while to watch second season of “Stranger Things”, to be honest mainly because it had kids in it and I really didn’t have the stamina to be raped or molested by this Archon Reptilian Entity while it said sick things and then called ME a child molestor. Because this demon wants me to “Die of Molestation”. 

My fear was then sparked again Eleven was named the sexiest woman by W Magazine and I and most of my friends where like WTF, she’s 13years old! And then Mara Wilson who played Matilda back in the day wrote an article for Elle Magazine talking about all the letters from pedophiles she received when she was a little girl and how they would make sick videos with her face imposed on it and it fucked her up. 

So with all that, and knowing how disgusting these Archon Reptilians are, I opted out watching this season. I knew after reading that article about her being named sexy the Archon’s would target her in my psyche. And I wouldn’t get to actually enjoy the show. Its an awesome show anf i love Winoa Ryder, shes kinda my spirit animal right now. It’s not hypersexualized like say “Girls” or “Game of Thrones” which I just couldn’t get through. My ex (twin flame) wanted me to watch Game of Thrones and even before all this happened I didn’t want to watch the rape scene and ended up covering my eyes with his arms until it was over. Its was too much. 

Either way thanks W Magainze for sensationalizing and sexualizing children and one of the few shows out there that’s actually not. 

ANYWAY. 

I mean things have dialed down to about 25% which is still too much for me, and at times they flare up and I can’t put my finger on the reason why…. I observe and catch trends quickly. Maybe there isn’t an actual reason. Just random. Not based on me or what I do. Even though I’ve tried everything to keep it at a minimum. 

So things are at 25% give or take the day. I KNOW for a fact I am not a child molestor and would never be in any lifetime, realm or plane. And I’ve watched “Once Upon a Time” all 6/7 seasons 3 times in row at least and Zootopia 2 times a day for a year….. So its time for a change. 

I’m not a TV person actually. I love music, but TV (and writing) engages my mind a bit more to take my mind away from these demons. Listening to music is intimate for me. Before I would go to my special place and make dances that melded into painting turning into a music video. I did the mostly on my commute to or from work. Open my eyes and I was in a train car of 100 people in a city of 8 million. Close my eyes and I was alone in my mind painting beautiful songs in my cave. 

What happens when you have unwelcomed guests in your cave? That won’t leave. Scribbling their song of fear. Perversion ……. And hatred over my personal graffiti. 

So fuck it, it doesn’t matter either way. I know myself enough and want to watch something different. I am currently on episode 3 season 2 when I was triggered to write this. 

One of the characters talked about being in “upside down” world where he is able to see these dark entities and reptile things that don’t like light or heat. Being stuck between dimensions. 

In many ways it feels like this “opposite world” where I see these Archon circles, Reptilians, Geckos, Trolls, Ghosts banshees, portals, False light floating symbols, that can not with stand the Sun or joy or love. So in a way I become a vampire always in the dark, because these energy vampires keep me weak enough to not go outside but alive enough to feed off and play with me. 

I know its not real real. … Like “Stranger Things” is not a documentary. But certain shows or songs, words always find there way to me AFTER I’ve experience certain things and I’m like “OMG you guys its a synchronicity! ” but thats the lure of the dark, and false light always keep you guessing, mysteriousness so you always stay in the trap of trying to figure things out because YOU think there is some gift….. A pot of goal at the end of that dark evil rainbow. Either way I want out. 

Maybe “Stranger Things” is taking from what some of us are really experiencing and turning it into entertainment. Like those scientists represent CERN, which I have not read up on but my friends, who experience the same I, believe that CERN did something to our world that made us vulnerable and more tangible to dark forces. Like they “lifted the veil”, only we want shit put back down. And ELeven (from stranger things) and the other kid is Us who can feel or sense what is happening to us or the other side. Its strange cause other people are having astral sex and atral projecting to Saturn. .. And past life regressing and channeling and having a grand old time and I’m like “the fuck are y’all doing?”. Even when I would read about people doing this I was like “nah I’m good”. There was no lure for me at most I wanted to do shrooms and maybe tripp and see like smurfs or something, but again that would have been from MY own mind. Not whatever disgusting hive mind from the 4th dimension that uses radio, WiFi, emf waves to penetrate our cells and move around or communicate or take over our bodies. The ones that are stalking me prefer ambient (none focused on sound) TV as it seems easier to associate words with their agenda then from my mind. 

So that’s my “Stranger Things” experience, only I’m kinda living it and it sucks. 

 https://youtu.be/j1-xRk6llh4

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Archon Name Calling 😒

Today was a little tough. I had to go do a task for my father. So it was going a little outside of my comfort zone. It started off as general pain.m, I could feel the entity tighten its grip around my neck or feel the pressure on my head and jaws and I tried to manage the back pain I always and only worsened with all the extra weight.

So I got some molten popped 4 got a coffee and hoped it would work soon. I started to study the outline of other people looking to see if they had the same as me. I only saw on a few people on the bus, but often they can turn sideways (the thin side) to not be visible like seeing an aura.

I also had the knocking tugging at my back outside for the first time. I never felt this outside before. 

Either, I pushed through the pain never sure of what I was seeing or what it even means. 

Then I wanted to share a snack with my mom that use to get when I was younger in the village called Pomme Frits, its like Belgium cut fries and all these crazy sauces so I thought it would be cute to share with her. Its in the NYU area on the city and as I walked through as I have many times before, this Demonic Archon started loosing its ever loving consciousness, and started doing the “child molester” play again. 

So I just keep walking, trying to get to first ave even though my back/ core felt like a noodle. I just kept walking ignoring it trying to breathe and just get to 1st Ave. 

Once I got to the bus stop and sat down I broke down crying. Because its such a gross game and thing to do. Like damn I can’t get some fries and chill one day? 

In some ways calling ME a child molester is an INSULT to my soul, to my core to who I know myself to be. I sometimes feel like its a cruel joke making fun of the fact that I am infertile because of PCOS. “You’ll never be a mom”, “you’re a child molestor”, “you heal no one”. 

A lady at the bus stopped asked me if I was OK I lied and said I was fine and thanked her. I was just over the day by then. I’m tired of being “strong”. I just want this over with, the voice, the thoughts, the headaches, the rape, the crazy dreams, done. 

The is no excuse for this torture. 

“Dark Night of the Soul” is Bullshit πŸƒπŸ’©

This whole concept of “dark night of the soul” is bullshit. At least my version is. 

Life has its ups and downs natrually and yes we gain lessons from it whatever, some times we are lost…. confused, mistake are made whatever. But this concept of the “dark night of the soul”, while it DESCRIBES AN experience it is also spiritually misleading to say you did something to deserve this, or “this is a gift”, you’re turning into lil bitty butterfly to fly away into the astral planes.

Uhm NO, you are being spiritually and psychically abused for no reason AT ALL and you were given a really lame ass excuse fantasy lullaby as to why, called the dark night of the soul. 

SO. You are told to “surrender” MORE, be MORE “healthy”, do MORE yoga, all this “trust the process”, accept the pain and karma and bla bla bla….

NO. You are enough at any given moment. “Learning to surrender” means what? To what? Cause honestly this whole shit was a set up and fuck all of the programs that limit your divine free will! All of them!

FUCK the “Twin Flameβ„’” program (love, lust, heartbreak, relationship, obsession exploitation), FUUuUCK the “Dark Night of the Soulβ„’” (spiritual and psychic abuse) program, fuck “Kundaliniβ„’” (spirit, possession, health) bullshit, fuck the “Conspiracy Theoryβ„’” program (mofos out here trying to find the edge of the earth, aliens that prolly don’t even look like REAL aliens, ghost goblins, government whatever ect). Fuck “Ascencion /Awakening β„’” program (feeling all these crazy “energy”, new earth bs, religious, shamanism, activations, light body “evolution”, empathic, insane 1111 bullshit, “consciousness” bs, “ego death”, past life karma) bla bla bla bla bla. NOPE its all psychological mental, emotional and physical exploitation abusive warfare. No homie you haven’t transcended shit, just jumped from the frying pan into the fire. 

NO, NOPE …. Just no. It’s just prolly possession, which is some “implant” demonic archon program (playing you like video game) you literally possess (have) playing out whether you are aware of it or not. 

Fuck it all….. Fuck “the path“, fuck this fake ass “spiritual journey” bullshit that is meant to control you and make you feel like you’re doing something (wrong or good) with your life. Like your life has no meaning (which is does! And its not to sit here and eat bullshit flakes all day). I mean HEY if you are THAT bored in life be my fucking guest. If you want to take on some bullshit burden of some fake ass past life karma that you know nothing about and has nothing to do with your ACTUAL life, gah head. If that works for you! Won…der. ..ful……. 

All this shit is basically excusing “spiritual violence / abuse” and we want to say as people who want a better earth for ALL, that because someone didn’t get cosmically JUMPED by some demonic archon alien jelly fish thing that they are “spiritually bypassing”, granted some people are just fake ass bitches, but if you want to wear a badge of honor for being spiritually raped and tortures for no fucking reason, cool. Wear your super star 🌟 sticker, I however could and would have done better with out this waste of time. Call me arrogant, but clearly you never had rape simulated on you everyday for two fucking years after being physically raped.

You don’t need it! It’s unnecessary, you don’t need a spirit guide if you are already your best self in each moment. Where are the spirit guides for the rapist?! Fuck fake ass spirit guides too, lying ass mother fuckers, guess what your spirit guides real name isn’t Jim, or Greg or Tiffany or Isis. So already your whole “relationship” is built on a lie! ANY MORE lies you would like to tell your subject JIM?!?

Its a matrix of lies. That’s a truth. That doesn’t make nature any less real or YOU any less human. This is not a “holographic” universe its a holographic bullshit mind matrix that is void of any actual truth or love to confuse and distract the shit out of people frim being their best selves. 

Throat “chakra” game on point cause speak from the heart. Fuck out of here with all this bulshit! And all the lies and manipulation to misdirect and deceive people of the earth!

That’s the new earth!

AH fucking CHOO to all the Bullshit! 

C R Y I N G 😒

I did have a suicidal thought just now cause I really really tired of their pedophile tactics aaaaalllll day. And I’m trying to “stay strong” but the Archon Demon Alien dot thing keep saying “If I were you I would commit suicide instead of enduring all this” referring to the pedo child molestor incest rape torture simulation it does. 

Like my friend sent me “love and light” energy today and this was the FIRST time EVER i actually felt love and light energy. It was warm and went into my belly area (where there is an archon) and almost immediately I wanted to be creative and draw or make a poem. Like I’ve spent $3,000 in the last two years on “healers” trying to address this shit and this was the first time I felt something like that. 

So I drew a picture, the archonπŸ’© still harrassed me on my parents TV as I was drawing I ignored it. And immediately after I felt good and satisfied with my drawing and went to lay down and they/it whatever went into a pedo attack flashing images of children and zaping my genitiles and its driving me to my limits.

So yea I said “considering it” (suicide)

Like I try to toughen up …  But then I break down…. Cause I hate it and I cry, and my friend said its good to cry but I hate crying cause they force me cry sometimes for fun and like you can only cry so much. So I write or act like I don’t care now.

 I’ve told them to leave already all day, poking them with sage. Its not listening and what they do to my body is so gross. 

My friend keeps telling me no schiz meds and just hold on cause things are changing. They (archons darkness) have already lost cause people are waking up and can see them, sense them, and see the game. Ect. 

But I just can’t with this pedo shit anymore, nothing is worth this gross shit, super power, ability, love, heaven, 5D earth, getting on the space ship N O T H I N G!!!!! Ever!

😟

The Fuckery 😩😩

So this is the type of fuckery I keep getting. 

Prior to this, this person told me I “pissed off the illuniati”, and prior to that said i “was taking night classes in heaven”. 

Another healer told me I “was dealing with guilt and shame of being a healer”, then in the next session said “this is a curse passed down from my father because someone on his side generations back was in a cult”. She also said she removed it. I have yet to see any changes. 

The person above also said they removed “it”. Other readers prior to there told me it was “black magick sent from my ex (twin flame)”, then said it was a negative soul tie with him and he was a false twin flame. 

The demon said to me directly that I was contracted to “commit suicide for my ex (twin flame) by means of child molestation” (visions of child abuse basically trying to force me into suicide). 

SO. This is the type of fuckery I am dealing with. These are the so called healers and psychics are telling me vs what the demon is doing. 

I’m tired and broke. And not one as made this stop.

I’ve been told sooooo many different stories as to WHY this is happening even by the same people, let alone different people. 

I mean these people are over here telling me this story and that story. And I can hear these Demons and they can’t tell me directly but can make up some absurd story to tell a healer, psychic, magic dude, angel light worker, shaman, akashic record reader, demonologist, so THEY can feel complete and accomplished…. Not me.

I’m right here! So what’s the point of telling errybody else different stories?

What’s the fucking point. 

Super Power β˜ΊπŸ”«

Sooooooo….. I was waking up this morning … Slowly but waking up. I did my Benadryl/Zquil cocktail the day before so I could get a solid 6+ hours of sleep.

So I was in and out of sleep. But generally was OK. So I woke up, and the Entity once again showed me an image of child abuse. There was no reasoning. It wasn’t punishing, it wasn’t related to my dreams, just child abuse for the sake of child abuse …. Because its funny to this Entity.

Not the way I wanted to wake up. 

So basically this Entities super power is being a pedophile?!? 

That was originally how it got me to almost kill myself twice. But I guess it wanted to just flash another vision of child abuse for old times sake.

I’m really getting sick of this shit, and having to “be strong”. There is nothing strong about enduring this. 

While I have finally figured out this was a tactic used by this debased souless Entity demon thing. That doesn’t make any easier, in a way I pretend and act as though it doesn’t bother me in hopes that staying strong and not shedding a tear this thing will go away. But….  I don’t know if it ever will.

Just trying to find peace. 

😯 Could you love a rapist?

(This was a question that a friend posed on Facebook)

————-⚠TRIGGER WARNING ⚠————

I’m trying to embrace the topic of child abuse. Be honest with you, anytime it came up on my Facebook timeline I just scrolled real fast over it. 

I didnt want to think about it. I don’t… I still don’t. It’s gross and scary. I don’t like it. Its triggering. And with all of that prior to this experience…. Then having an Entity psychically rape me and call me a child molestor at the same time is uhm… Well I had to sort things out for myself and know who I am.

Brief Back Story: (YES AGAIN) I was like 10 or 12 went to a sleep over. Felt some type way about my friend father coming into the room (didn’t live with men in the house, just my twin and mom at the time). I told my mom. My mom then later brought me in a room with my grand parents and told me to tell them. I did and they all stared at each other and it scared me. And then my grandpa blurted out “ya father molested you!”. So I just cried. I didn’t know what it was but clearly it was bad. No one really explained to me what it was, I just knew it was bad. Sometime later (I have no idea how long), I saw the introduction for Date Line special saying the Children who were molested were more likely to become child molestors. And it was about this young boy who was one. So that SCARED the shit out of me and upset me because I didn’t want to be something bad.

Sometime later I woke up from a bad dream and my mom told me to talk to someone on the phone and it was my dad. And he said he never did anything to me and he missed us and something about sand castles (it was 10 years of never speaking). I just went back to bed. 

My father came back into my life and assured me nothing ever happened. My parents quickly got married soon after. They were happy and I was left in angst in trying to accept my father for not being there. I also had to act different because a man was in the house now. … And we moved… It was a lot of change. But I try not to hold on to things too much. I accepted my dad… But my parents ultimately didn’t accept me being queer so they kicked me out right after high school.

When this whole “you’re a child molester” Entity popped up. I honestly for some reason thought it ment my father had did something to me. But I tried to push down this fear that my family was lying to me and trust. My father is a good father. To me “normal” family shit. I worked hard to rebuild our relationship…. One where he hopefully didnt feel like he needed to make up for anything. A friendship.

When this Entity came up again, first with the Goddess Isis and twin flame ex bullshit (which is through out this blog) only to GO RIGHT BACK to the “you’re a child molester”, I know I never in my life hurt a child or even thought about it so….. I thought maybe something did happen to me. I went to some bullshit akashic record psychic lady and she said it did happen only she said it was my dad AND MOM. I’m like Huh?!? So I was upset, but I knew that was impossible. So.

The Entity started saying “You should be GLAD you were molested!” During the thick of my delusions at my job around children. And I was freaking out. So……. I mean the only reason this ever came up again for me was this Entity. Other wise I had made my peace.

 When the Entity said that I got on my knees and prayed to God, for my father, for all the men in the world. I prayed so hard for them to see. Every thought about this subject I kept trying to “give it to the angels” cause not only was I presented with this difficult subject, my body was going haywire and my life was spiraling downward (as stated in this blog).

In a way. While I was foretunate to never had been sexually abused as a child…. It is an issue I still had to manage and wade through. Its a trigger. Whether or not I was or wasn’t ….. Its a terrible thing that we have allowed to permeate in our culture. Which leads to the abduction and death of our children. And I think most will agree. And I am sad that my Dad was accused, and even had to think about and kept away from his kids. Me. 

Unfortunately, I can’t look away as much as I want to and in the same breath I am rendered helpless because there is really nothing I can do about it. Currently. 

Often this subject is link to the LBGT community as most think homosexuality and trangenderism is a mental illness. And because this is linked to sexuality. The freedom for two consenting adults or two consenting young people to love each other, or someone who wants to express their gender in whatever way, is very different than an adult preying on a child, raping or positioning themselves in a place of authority to do so. Its more in the feild of serial killers, sociopaths, racism/ imperialism, and good old fashion patriarchy. It is meant to bring harm to another, while being self serving and self gratifying.

Linking pedophiles to the LGBT community makes no sense.

People are like “oh no if you let LGBT people have rights, then so will pedophiles.”. Honestly pedophiles have more rights than than LGBT which is…………. Insane now that I think of it. Kinda just hit me. Young children are unconsentingly forced to marry some adult…. While LGBT folks can barely walk down the street. Our culture in general supports this behavior as well. (Which I’m not ready to jump down the rabbit hole of culture just yet).

But the question is can you love and accept a rapist and pedophile. 

Sadly MY answer is No. I can have compassion for them. I can hope that they one day they see that they are ripping a young persons childhood away. I can hope that one day they will understand what consent ACTUALLY is. I can hope that they understand the physical and psychological pain that they have brought on someone else. I can hope they understand how they have been a vessle for demons to play them and the people around them. I can hope that they realize all of this and become new in mind and spirit. 

But how? This is work that needs to be done. But will not happen in this blog. I don’t need to have the answers. Now.

I have no interest in talking to the guy who raped me (even though he contacted me a year or two later to be on some hi how are you shit and harassing me).

But I don’t have to love them, and I definely will never accept this. And I hope that we can do more in our culture and world to change this. So that our children (even though I may never have any) can walk down the street with out fear, play and create a better world than the one we gave them.

Its triggering, it hurts, no one really wants to think about it because its painful, but how do we protect our children? How do we bring this to light and stop looking away in shame?