Golden Light Group Healing Session πŸ’«

So I just did a group healing session with about 500 to maybe 1.5k+ people this morning. 

I didn’t do my normal breath work or implant removal today and just was like whatever just do it. So I joined in late on the meditation but just kept trying to pull in as much “light”.

This one was WAY more emotional than I thought. I was doing the breathing and just trying to send more love out. I realized I will have to probably keep replenishing my “cord” with my twin with love and light since she asks so much of me and I’m just frustrated because where I am in life. It’s not her fault. So I sent love and light out to my family just trying to lighten our relationship. I can’t cut the cord cause I see them all day. Lol then I thought of all my friends and family whom I love and care for and who was involved in this Entity Attack in one way or another and sending love and light out that way. Eric Raines says when ypu have negativity festering in a relationship thats like black magic. Because my ego always had to fight this Archon Entity when it would use my coworkers, family, ex twin flame against me. 

An example would be the Entity would mention a fucked up part of a relationship with someone. And then…. I go on to say in my head “well what about when they did this or screwed me for that or left me here …. Or hurt my feelings then” bla bla bla. So I have to work on that. 

Either way. 

I pulled in as much light and saw myself griding below the ground trying to find those who were in the dark, who suffer from schizophrenia, abuse, sexual violence, hunger, homes … War….

I started cried and my body was convulsing….. Cause…. It thought of all that suffered and wanted to give them a spark of hope. A piece of light. I tried to stop myself from crying cause I am always afraid that its just feeding these entities. 

Then I thought about the world and soon as my mind went over the Caribbean I started crying again that was intense one…. Instant. I didn’t even think about the hurricane. It was tears.

Today has been a lot of tears, for myself, for others, the world. 

I’m not “elevated”, I’m not in swimming through the astral. I’m not special. I don’t have superpowers or abilities like everyone else. I’m human. 

My body is a tool I want to reclaim as my own. These Archon Reptilian demons are using it for their own gain and agenda….. I don’t even know what that is anymore. And it is mine. This in my body, my tool in this world. That is enough and extraordinary enough. 

There is so much healing this world needs. I want to do the intangible and tangible work as well.

This session was bigger than my own personal healing.

The entity is still here. Still doing what it does. But my focus is still the same, us as a collective healing. 

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Lost Souls πŸ‘€πŸ™ & Fire

I have heard many theories on what these circular shape things are around my house. Some say its souls/spirits, some say angels, some say archon/ reptialian, I have yet to read anyone directly relate this things with Satan but they sure do come close. 

So one thing I noticed is that these things do NOT like heat. Although they can produce what may feel like heat (nerve / electrical). Actual heat is not what they love. This includes actual fire and HOT water, say in a bath or the outside of a glass of HOT tea.

I guess this came up for me because I woke up, felt one of these things on the top of my hand and the used my eyes to see if there was one there, and then saw the darker middle half way out my hand. I then placed my piping hot coffee cup on the back of my hand and saw it rise up slowly. 

Whatever these things are if they remove themselves from my body after being put in hot water then to me that means THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE THERE! 

Maybe I am getting too biblical but maybe these are lost souls, that would endlessly burn in fire. Since they don’t die in heat, but don’t like heat they just run away, they often come back. Or maybe these lost souls are being USE by Reptilians (which i could def see them being thought of as demons back in the day).

They are slowly accumulating all over the house. Edges of the ceiling. And some so bold and big right in the middle of the room.

I’m just tired of these things attaching to me. I know my vibrations are “low” because whatever is orchestrating this, keeps using child sexual abuse to make me super sad and grossed out and cry. Which probably just feeds them all. But I TRY, and when I try to not allow the visions to bring me down (cause they are not real), I get attached even more. 

These things touching my skin are causing rashes, burning, vibration and discomfort. 

When I deal with emotional now its the physical with these things burning.

I’m TRYing SO HARD! πŸ™

Twin Flame or Alien Love Bite? – Alien Orchestrated Human Bonding Dramas

https://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/vida_alien/alien_lovebite01.htm

So this article only speaks on the aliens love bite but I will also look up information if someone has written anything on the direct correlation between alien love bites and twin flame.

If you think about it it makes sense. Entities supposedly feed off of negative energy and whats worse than a long drawn out longing for the love that is unrequited?

What’s funny is that many many many in the “twin flame” community are also those in the “love and light” and yet seem extremely unaware. 

There are teenagers on YouTube and forums BEGGING to meet their “twin flame”, and that actuallybsvares me because it is something way beyond you “meeting the greatest karmic love of your life”, if anything it’s bullshit.

What it really is, is having extreme emotions and a longing for love that more than likely you will never get as long as these Entities are involved because they are playing you like a puppet. They watch you, they will pretend to be your twin flame to so sexual things to you.

And if you finally lay down the card call twin flame, it only gets worse. Etheric love making with your “twin flame” becomes entity rape. Spiraling down a rabbit hole of spiritually reasons that you feel a pain that is not justifyable until you hit the bottom and ran out of reasons…. That bottom is called Schizophrenia. 

Schizophrenia is torture with no story line other than your own freedom and soon the freedom of humanity once you realize how to humanity has been hypnotized.

Its sad, but I’m not quite sure why, of course “harvesting” negative energy or whatever, but with all of this technology being used couldn’t they figure out to replicate “negative energy to feed off of”? I mean humans are growing ears on rats, I think intelligent aliens can come up with an alternative method to meddling I. Human affairs and torturing the population for “negative energy”. 

I wonder if all the people making money off of twin flames actually explain this to people? Or do they profit from peddling a delusion to keep making money? 

And THATS where the spiritual community got me fucked up. And they have nerve to speak about religion. 

Spiritual Abuse πŸ”ͺπŸ”«πŸ’£

There is no reason to be spiritually attacked there is no excuse. That’s like a rapist saying she asked for it because wore a short skirt. Fuck THAT!

Victims of spiritual/astral abuse will blame themselves. They will say, “I deserve this because I lied when I was 12 years old” or something just as ridiculous. We seek peace and that’s the easiest route than grabbing at air. But we seek NOW. Dwelling on the pasts on shortens our time in becoming the person we wish to be the best versions of ourselves. 

Our capitalist system says “you are not enough!” , so by this product and subscribe to this lifestyle. Spirituality /religion says you are not enough, you didn’t pray enough, you did something bad, some past life bullshit generational curse, that you didn’t meditate enough, that you didn’t eat organic enough. In relationships, we feel like we aren’t pretty enough, or doing enough or have enough money or enough love or trust. 

So it is NO WONDER these astral parasites …. Spiritual abusers go on to say YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. You’re ugly, fat, skinny, stupid, crazy, no body likes you, you have no friends, kill yourself, no money, you are not good at what you do, you don’t know what you are doing, you need our guidance, unlovable, unworthy, you’re an addict, you will never understand, you don’t have knowledge. 

You will never be enough, when you are! 

I am a complete being. I have my own “dark” and own “light”. I grow as needed. Forced “darkness” or this bullshit “dark nigbt of the soul”, is abused pushed by astral parasites. Saying it’s because you did this or that, that YOU weren’t enough is excusing this program and act of spiritual violence. Finding peace and “learning from” the abuse is the gift we give ourselves to cope and to heal. We weave stories of some past life karma, a curse, blame ourselves. “This happened to me because…………….” 

Outside of that we are excusing unseen and intangible abuse. By subscribing to this idea that pain is our greatest teacher, is superficial and more than likely you never been in a full blown psychic attack.
You are saying our current system, all system are fine as is and should operate and function with no change.

This whole you “change your reality” is bullshit. You know how hard I’ve fought?!? All this law of attraction, most people want car, money love. I want the change, justice, peace, safety for all people! 

NOTE: The demon suggested pain and my smoking cigs (cause you devils advocate). Now do I know smoking is bad? Yes. Do I wish to change that? YES. Do I think I should be raped everyday by some demon for going on two years? NO.
Whatever. But I’m the crazy one.

Fuck this demon! 

Crazy Talk: Jelly Monster πŸ‘»πŸ’”

So I can see the effects of the demon, I can feel them, hear them, but I can’t see the actual demon that’s conducting it. 

I believe that many healer are able to remove the effects but not the actual entity. Maybe some can. But none of the ones I went to. 

So, I see this jelly monster (looks like a clear slimmer) that moves around me. I state previously in my blog that, I don’t think this is the entity but the “energy” it sends kinda like and extension of sorts it copies. Its not easy to see but I see it. I think its the same “energy” that screams repeatedly, mimics other peoples voices and music, repeats what I say, the gives me tremors and that can copy cat emotions like anxienty or headache, intense tension, feeling ill, being high. Prolly other things too like images/vision. Almost like AI intelligence toy, but its not the main and I feel like its being controlled. 

Today I was wondering HOW did the entity pull off things like knowing when my ex (false/ twin flame) was going to call, or what song he was going to send me, when the cat took my chair and I wasn’t in the room. And a few other “prediction” or plain old’ nosiness. 

Either way. My assumption is that this jelly monster was being nosey with my ex or attached to my ex. Something maybe like that. And that’s how it copied his voice and knew info. Some people call it “attachment cords” this one looks like a clear jelly vibrating blob thing that moves around at medium speed in and out of vision some times sparkles if its close by like on my head. But then I’m like how the fuck did the jelly monster get to the edge of Brooklyn? Like it legit floated 20 miles?

πŸ’©πŸ‡πŸŠπŸš†πŸš„πŸš…β“‚πŸšˆπŸš•πŸš˜πŸšœπŸš βœˆβ›΅πŸš€πŸšβ‰

I hope my ex wasn’t harmed in any way. In the beginning I did so many “cord cutting meditations” because I just wanted whatever this was gone. I blamed my ex, i did. But I kept away from him so this demon wouldn’t make another game out of it. I’m pretty sure he is OK and doing fine. But if he went through a fraction what I went/ going through….. I am so sorry, even though none of this was my fault. I never sent ANYTHING to him in any way. Only trying to get through my own heart ache to move on.

Either way. That’s my theory of the jelly monster I have been seeing floating around the house or stuck in the bathroom. 

Crazy shit right? πŸ™

God……….  Why did I have to get the crazy one? 

I feel like I need a blunt and I don’t even like smoking. 🌴

U g l y πŸ‘Ύ

Each moment is like saying goodbye to myself in hopes that one day the distance between who I currently …. Who I was …. And want to be will merge in a harmony.

I looked back at photos of myself last year. You know back when I use to take a shower. Back when my spirit wasn’t protesting inside of my body in order to figure out what the fuck is going on.

In those moments, past, photos, I remember I felt so ugly. I was ugly cause a man, and ex, “twin flame”, whom this Demon/ Entity hid behind in order to play me out of my life, told me I looked like a man, ugly, fat,…..or would say my ex made a bet on how much weight I could loose before we got back together. Because I wasn’t good enough.

Now, unshowered, unmotivated, tired of fighting, sad in a way, look back and say to myself….. I wasn’t ugly.

But I can’t seem to ever tell the me that’s here now….. That you are not ugly, and who cares you are more than flesh and bones, you are worthy, you are enough. 
I don’t know when I will be enough. 

The Fat Chick

My ex (“twin flame”) false one I guess. But the the Entity that is here ran with the title and play. 

Over our short 6 month interaction things got confusing for me. I had never felt so insecure in my life. I questioned it. I tried with all of my might to keep a clear head. But I never that strongly about anything. I had heard that guys test you….. But still. 

I guess the first time is when he went on about how he would try to talk to models at events and that they didn’t want to talk to him. And he model friends. I didn’t sit with me right.

The next was when he avoided hanging out with me for Valentines day…. Or even texting for that matter. And when had texted everyday all day before that. I got upset and finally stopped waiting and called him and he said he was at a bar drinking with a friend. It just seemed odd. So the growing insecurity raised. It was like a month or two and so I dumped him and went out on two date to get the attention that seemed so impossible for him that day. 

Soon after I missed him. I didn’t know why. I had made him a really awesome low key gift with a nice jar filled with honey from the farm I worked at since he only drank tea. I thought about him. And maybe I thought I over reacted about a holiday. So I contacted him to make a mends.

While I was in the bathroom I heard loud and clear, “you’re jot going to tell him about the rasta?”. No. Lol. But I didn’t know who said it or why. I just sat there on the toilet like WTF. I later became acquainted with the Entity as seen in this blog. 

It was a bunch of little things here and there piling up in very short periods of time. Like when I checked his Facebook and saw one of his friends refer and ask if it was “tinder?” Girl referring to me under a video of a girl loosing her mind on the train (I hadn’t lost it by then). Then his friends would make fun of fat people on his page. But then he told me father was a “fat shamer”. 

In the middle of us see each other he had missed my birthday. And then I had seen this app called happn advertised on Facebook and looked to see what it was and there was a review he made for it a few days after my birthday. I told him. I made a pack to keep my cool ever since the valentine situation. He then asked “well why were you looking at it” and then changed his settings. So I could not see his Google reviews. I wasn’t even looking, Hus a the first to pop up since we were friends on hang outs. 

Then I remember him saying he would bring me to a game or gym. But then he got wierded out and said it was a “sanctuary” for him only to find out later that his ex girlfriend went there too. 

I felt like all we did was have sex and I wasn’t use to that. He tried to take me to a few bars didn’t seem too excited about it. More obligational to prove something that he “wasn’t afraid to be seen with me in public”. But even then i saw him checking out girls in the bar which was awkward and his mood would change. I understood he had a night job and gym and stuff which was important. But I still could not shake it.

On my ex’s birthday the Entity kept trying to convince me to tell him I loved him but it wasn’t time. The Entity went so as far as to to whisper it sounding like my ex was trying to tell me through a whisper or “telepathically”. 

And that’s where I really fucked up.

I believed it. 

It was like all my years of building self confidence went down the drain.

I was super confused and I needed to focus on my job for a couple of weeks and asked him for a break at which point he said we might as well break up. So I diligently accomplished my goals at work. Forced myself not to speak to him for two weeks to detox and hoped to come back with a clear mind. It wasn’t easy. I even told my friend so I would keep myself busy. Once everything at my job was set, I finally contacted him but he waited days before contacting me back and it was right before I was going on a date.

The date was cool. We made out. But I contacted my ex after only to find that he had moved on. 

I didn’t understand why I was feeling like this. It was gross. I gave myself a few months to just feel the feels. But I was obsessed with trying to find out why I felt drawn to someone who treated me like eh just aight.

I contacted him again. We hung out. I had hoped we would work things out and build honesty but everything went south.

I just kept asking myself, “why do I feel like this?” Over and over. I did a forget him spell on myself (didn’t work). Nothing worked. Therapy, throughing myself into my job, dating, fucking, working out. Nothing.

I saw that he had a a few memes on his face book making fun of fat women. Even one where he wrote “first rule of squad is always to accept a challenge” meaning date a fat girl. I saw that he was in a pretty sad group called “I heart chubbies”, and recently guessed that one of his friends put him in that group as a joke. 

It wasn’t until 2016 when things got wild. The Entity posses itself as telepathy between my ex and I foretelling a doing he would send me and the few times he would call. I just wanted to be over him. But the “storyline” this Entity drew up was captivating. The “twin flame” story line that I had to give it all up for my ex… To win him back…… Even my life.

That’s where things took a sharp nose dive into hell.

I guess I got my answer.

This man….. made me insecure enough, vulnerable enough for this Entity to hide behind and try and take not only my lively hood …. But my life. 

I try not to blame my ex too much. I have my own part in being naive on soooooo many fucking levels. I never would have guessed it could be this bad, just from dating a guy or that demons really actually do exist.

And now my ex is prolly chillin fucking the next chick while I’m sitting here being raped every night by some demon.

Shit sucks. 

Not Sure How I Feel

I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off after my ex (“twin”) and I broke up. 

Since, I was sent into a spiral down the rabbit hole and I’m looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. Its like being high enjoying the trip for the first hour or so…. Only to be tripping for 8 hours. Mine is going on 2years. 

I’m still trying to figure out if my TF was/is love or lust. Or why it triggered obessesion. I hate feeling like this. I felt like I wasn’t myself in reaction to him. Impulsive and obsessive. 

I’m trying to breathe through it. Unfortunately cigarettes have replaced my air, sugary things my love and sleep my energy. 

I tried to keep an open mind. Hoping that there is a point to this. But I feel like I’m in a loop. One moment maybe for a day I’m like …. Ok… You got this… You can get your life back together… And then…. “Reality” sets in of my current circumstance and I’m like oh… Yea… That. 

I feel so broken and drained idk if even my “twin” could make me feel better…. Even though that is all I longed for during this difficult time.

I researched everything to give a name to this voice and feeling. Twin flame, archon alien attachment, entity, negativity, lower dimentional beings, incubus, ghost, spirit, false twin flame, demon, kundalini awakening, ascension, descension, purging, negative soul ties, soul star chaka, chakra imbalance, repitian brain, spirit husband, good old fashion curse/spell, and the ever so medicated schizophrenia. 

😩

All I know is I feel like shit, not like myself. I know that this thing is not my “(false)/twin flame” while may predict or rather influence, it is not my Ex. 

I feel it on my head, in my chest…. on my genitles. Its hard for me to be social, I feel so weighed down, a lack of energy I’m not use to. To matter how much sleep I get or coffee I drink. 

I tired of feeling like something has a grip on me…. My life.