Pain is a Hypnotic state 😶

Anything to an extreme, for manipulation can be a hypnotic state where the individual is easily controlled.

So pain. I guess for some this is a DUH, but for my nieve ass I don’t think like that. To control. I am more interested in collaboration.

So when the Demonic Entities want to control me they UP THE PAIN FACTOR this will usually be in my head. My body and skin will become tight and warm as if we’re inflamed.

I will be so focused on the pain, that I become “second in line” to my own mind. The pain increases and I stare off into space and I hear one of the Entities suggesting some insanely absurd gross thought and at that moment I do not question it until I snap out of it because I’m focused on ……………….. THE PAIN.

This makes them feel powerful even though they are cowards and scum of the universe.

Once you are in this hypnotic state of pain focus deeply on the pain you become easily “suggestable”. That’s why you need to be careful what you allow people to treat during sex and certain points in your life. Being easily suggested is a step before brain washed.

So you are crying or sobbing miserable with pain and the Entity comes in and starts planting seeds and thoughts “you’re ugly when you cry” will turn into “you’re ugly”. These will be triggers to layer the pain and keep you sooo deep far down in the quick sand of pain and misery it will be difficult to see a way out unless you observe their bullshit and your own bullshit as well.

So …….. I see how they used pain against me literally pulling wool over my eyes and into a hypnotic state so I will believe their negative.

No positive or negative in this situation only ignorance.

These demons can kick rocks!

😤

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Insectoid Mantis or Demon 😱

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Above is a quick description of Mantis Insectoids and then a long but GOOD lecture on Angels but mostly Demons. Really worth the watch.

One thing he said about demons is that the hey have “bird like feet” and I was noticing this WAY before I knew this was a trait of demons unless they were literally part bird. But many of them had a tripod like or bird feet like leg.

So that’s one aspect. Demon or what was seen as demon CHECK ✔️.

Now not all demons are …….. idk maybe like the beast monster with horns and breathing fire and eats children to replenish itself and steps on villages while smiting Gods name. For like decades on end no mercy.

SOME just like to hang around and fuck up all your romantic relationships so you end up alone. OR, side track you in life wit a couple of bad decisions. Maybe there are a few and each have there thing.

Again the voices/mantis CAN be funny sometimes but it’s usually and only at my expense. They can mimic other voices and sounds. They have many outfits and masks (even alien grey ones). Can take on any personality, although the ones I have encountered feel masculine in “nature” even if the voice is female. So they know how to party.

The one that was stalking me I guess was sweet with dreams at first but soon as it got together with other friends it really took advantage of my body and did not care if it was hurting me. So that is no guardian, friend or anything. And think that’s how many people innocently get wrapped up. Even if your not seeking anything.

So because their intentions are not pure and good they are demons even if their goofy or cute or funny. Doesn’t matter TRICKS OF THE DEVIL Satan knows we like cute goofy things like kittens……. DAMN YOU SATAN! Anyway don’t fall for it in the astral/spirit/etheric/dimensions beeeeecause they are liars and assholes and that’s pretty much it.

Mantids chill with Reptilians (if that’s what they even are). They work in a hive mind. But I’m honestly waiting for the next veil to drop. Now I can see this shit with my eye and by taking a simple photo at the right moment and you are telling my the the government or NASA can’t see this shit?

I really expect more from all parties at this point. Healer and shaman, religious leaders, government, Angels whatever else would be involved……. whistleblowers I guess….

So since Mantis’ have all the toys and masks, and dress up (even cars) they can easily be be many of the demons we think we know. And with a little light or black magic MEANING using light or shadow they can may show us a totally different image.

I once saw a random image/vision of a woman who face and when I stared are more deeply into my mind the black nothingness and then saw the face become the Mantis!!!! So these beings are master illusionists.

So a Mantis is DEFINITELY one of the main ones. No matter what your religion is that has nothing to do with the rape and terrible things they do.

So if I find a way BELIEVE I’m letting everyone know!

Monkey Mind 🙉🙈🙊

“Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil”

I heard about the “monkey mind” here and there in reference to meditation. I think I just assumed it was the normal “thoughts” when you are trying to meditate and your mind loops “make sure to do this or that , hmm I want coffee after this, my back hurts, ect” ….. very rarely I would get a random image.

After being attacked the loops became more subtle the visions more often and it was all with the goal of mind control. One thing the quote above doesn’t mention feeling. Often burns and pinches and buzzing and electrocuted….. feeling raped … either end ….. held down or harnesses or cuffs. Like someone held my hand or kisses me. There where a lot of feelings and then SUGGESTIONS by the Entities as to what those feelings were or what they meant or what they symbolized.

But essentially it was all a lie.

Where I thought there was a ring on finger was probably a astral parasite placed there by an Entity. The harness that forced me to sit up straight and was part of their “domination” fantasy was probably also a bunch of astral parasites wrapped around my body, because the wanted to “teach me how to be a lady”.

So I hear, see, feel, but TRY not to speak evil, although it is spoken to me…… lies. Lie after lie after lie after lie.

The monkey mind is real but I have a house party going on and I don’t know why or how to stop it even if I keep an “empty” mind, they just fill it…… with nonsense….. none stop talking about stuff that makes no sense. Stuff from tv in a different room, mixed with the title of an email from a week ago sealed with their normal sexual perversions. So I’m observing the babbling and occasionally will be like HUH? But will go back to just trying to an “empty mind” or pretending it is or just not engaging the Entities since they are completely insane.

There was a certain amount of monkey mind I agreed to or I thought was normal. The to do lists the getting things done ya know and then when the attacks happened and the house party happened I wasn’t totally aware what was truly MY internal dialogue.

There are spiritual concepts of “expanding consciousness” and I often wonder what is that? What or who or how is “consciousness” being expanded? Is this just another lie? Another trick to agreeing to allowing our bodies to being used until they can’t anymore.

I honestly don’t even see how these Entities can continue…… I can barely move some days. Again if I take a photo I can see ways in which I have been probed with their parasites and toy and tools and whatever else they use to do what they do.

I KNOW I’ve tried my best from many angles and I know I gotta be “patient”. But being stuck in the house because I don’t want these Demonic Entities to use little random children for pedophile shit in my mind is such a GRIM existence and I’m not sure if what I am waiting for will ever arrive. And I hear of so many schizophrenics who are stuck in the house for one reason or another for most of their life.

I once said something to the extent “It’s not how long you wait it’s what you do in the moments you wait.” This was to touch on being patient and intentional. But the things I would normally do in the “moments that I wait” I can’t engage in. I can’t go to the gym or farmers market …. lay out in a park for hours….. just take it easy until that next phase of life happens.

I don’t know how to cope or deal or heal with this one. All I have is faith that the demons are trying so hard to take away or condemn me for when I don’t have the perfect answer.

Big Deep Breaths! 🐨

I can’t believe this is real life. 😳

So like WTF?

How is this real life? Like I know life has ups and downs, but right now I hit a plateau of just going to sleep and waking up to nasty Entity voices saying and doing nasty shit all day.

And like a LOT of people are hearing the exact same nasty shit all day….. how is this real life?!

I just can’t believe this is my life right now.

I’m only staying alive cause I’m petty other wise I’m pretty grossed the fuck out by life at this present moment. All levels.

I’m done trying to understand my abusers on all levels. I can’t wrap my mind around their logic and I need to accept that I never will.

Spiritual, emotional, mental, political abusers!

I can’t rock with it…. I don’t get it…. especially when they don’t stop.

This is how people snap….

But I won’t…. I’m petty. Fuck that shit. I’m too cute for that.

I just never thought in all my life I would be harassed by some disgusting demonic reptilian 2D flat floating astral assholes 24/7 none stop……. and made to seem crazy.

A waste of time and life. Like I don’t even care about these assholes.

I wish the were like sucked into a black hole never to return.

I can barely get fresh air with out being harassed.

I just never thought this could be real.

I will never understand why or who or how or why….. because it’s insane. There is nothing to understand about the insanity. You want to pick out some pretty gems cool, but essentially this shits insane and pointless.

So……… idk.

Dr. Phil: Twin Flames 😳

Sheila says that when the love of her life, Simon, said goodbye, he claimed he was going away for a few days but promised to return with flowers in a limousine.
— Read on www.drphil.com/shows/my-sister-drove-from-canada-to-mexico-searching-for-the-ex-lover-she-claims-sends-her-secret-messages-via-songs-on-the-radio/

======================

I was initiated into this hell hole through the concept Twin Flame.

It was after a break up. It was with a man I lost a lot of confidence with and made me feel really insecure for the first time. So I was an easy target at the time. But these entities were still able to convince me that maybe all these insecurities were because of love and my hang ups and not because he just plain old didn’t like me and we didn’t work out. They even convinced me they were telepathic communication with him and sounded just like him.

Some commonality with her case was the constant obsession but keeping him away. Using music “as a form of communication”, saying there was a “bet” for a large sum of money involved or a large sum of money involved. And that some how death was involved (i.e. Forcing me into suicide for my “twin flame”).

So where does this all come from?

I mean ……….. I’ve heard some things but the actual application of it to my life is another thing. How these Entities applied it to my life were well deadly. Still are.

I mean even though I am over the “twin flame” I STILL to this day have to hear about this man (my ex). To the point where I’m like “can you please leave this man alone?” I’m tired of hearing about him.

But who came up with the twin flame rules? And how do these Entites know how to play? Like the money part?

Maybe twin flames in another dimension are the most amazing love, here they are not. If anything they show signs of if a incubus of demonic hold. No one should be running around in circles like that. I lost a lot since my twin flame experience. And yea I could be all “I’m grateful” but…… I got shit to do and this was not it.

I feel bad she went through this. It’s embarrassing. Now they are going to drug her to make her more presentable. But I still believe there is a spiritual health issue underlying. I just don’t know how to address it permanently.

Just moment to moment. Day to day.

I don’t know if these Entities go away permanently. Although I would like to think so.

I know myself just as I am writing to you honestly. But these Entities are another bag of beans.

It’s sad but I’m trying to keep faith that through fierce honesty and communication and compassion we can start to heal.

Archons: Revisited 👽

living entity archon alien being (2).jpg

So I can see “Archons” in 3D which are described either undeveloped human fetus (a human cell) and or a Reptilian. From my observation, the Archons – human cell-like discs are an AI of sorts and a Portal. The Reptilian or other beings can pop in and out of them.

These portals change in size depending on environments and can move around but usually staying tethered to an ideal spot. I can hear when they are moved or possibly more portals are pushed through another portal (I’m only like 30% sure on the latter).

So I believe the gnostic text mistook as Archons (that look like human cells) are actually almost like a living and intelligent portal.

The Entities usually pop halfway out only showing a face or face and arms or just an image. I only see 2D/3D-ish.

Now many people have them. The Portals. Above their head. At least one I would assume. As I said there is a fleet of entities in my actual body. Each time I think I make emotional and mental progress I only see more and more showing up in my field. So it is a bit confusing. But I assume that’s half of the point of all of this is to keep me.. or many confused. What was once 1 dot (archon) say like early this year turned to two by June, then into maybe 8 this fall and now turned to 24+ like this morning.  I know the blood pressure is high BECAUSE of the connection with the Entities… which only creates a cycle that I must find the strength to break. But I am willing to give modern medicine a shot to feel SOME relief.

I am unsure of why we are set up I like this. But I know this wasn’t our built intention.

I also feel that we as humans or souls may have an ability to create worlds and universes …. and we have been contained from doing so. Like endless fractal of universes. (totally hippy speculation just wondering and thinking)

So I’m not sure what these entities deals are with viciously attacking people.

If you haven’t noticed I am hyper-aware of myself and my body and surroundings. It literally feels like being dropped in the middle of a battlefield. I just got my anti-psychotics, I haven’t taken them but have noticed that the Entities are already pre-testing the prep work for “depression”. Probably because they read somewhere in the schizo facebook groups that some people feel depressed or numb because of meds. They are THAT slick! THAT slick! That’s how desperate they are. I haven’t even taken the meds yet! All I can do is just laugh at the BS.
The archon AI human cell looks very much like old school UFO’s and also halos depicted in many one religious paintings.
I guess they only pop out of the portal when they really want to scare you out of your natural born life.
641362-ufo
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Monster Logos ❤


Not all but many of the “energy”, entities, aliens, archons whatever you want to call them have a … Logo of sorts. I would assume, since they seem to be a hivr mind ad they attach to a humans individuality they long for that same separation. Thus a representation …. A logo of themselves of sorts.

Either way….. Each being…. Yes is individual in a way or for the moment…. And they CAN tether to you to sustain it self itself in whatever form that truly is. 

Just as they tether they can disconnect…. But who wants to find a new victim to learn? 

No I have seen “energy” or Entities that DID NOT connect to me physically and did not force itself to stay in my field or my home. 

I have to keep reminding myself there is a good spiritual world. And just because I have been forced to see this side that doesn’t make me a bad person for trying to understand and not leaving it to prayer alone. The Entities often try to guilt me…. Saying I’m a bad christian or something like that…. Because I donyt leave this to prayer alone. Again, Me, God, Meds. 

One of my friends told me about a story where she was in s parade in Chile and she fainted and then a shaman help her friend carry her to a place and then the shaman blew smoke on her back and pulled out like a teddy bear smoke logo. This teddy bear was a teather from an entity attempting to attach or hide in her. But was removed. 

Just like I had logos #, 👽, X, ❤  of all kinda stuff on arms and body. I can see but I can not remove them.

If I look directly where I know there is an “energy field” portal, alien demon whatever…. It will spew something at me…. It will sparkle maybe black maybe white and then I will see a smaller “portal” near me or a logo on my skin or my third eye. 

When I take photos of my face…. It legit looks like a child scribbled on my forehead. Especially the 3rd. I don’t know how long they last, or if they wash off in a shower… Or what. 

But sorry we want our people to be spiritually OK they need to know this shit good or bad.if you are walking around with a naked lady in your arua masterbating then that’s fucked up. That’s what I saw in this one guys field…. And he knew what I was talking about. I never a full figure before. 

I have no interest in playing with these entities…. Or anyone else for that matter when it comes to this. I seek to be free of the bullshit that is not me. Like this is basic shit. 

Photo of what I usually see

Like this is the most obvious photo I have taken. I would zoom in or not have it on a white background or in bright lights so your eyes can adjust. Im trying to look at it now in my bathroom lights and all I see it a black photo. 

If I’m totally bugging let me know. 

The photos of what I drew are here. I have seeming them for 6+ months. I think one or more contribute to the schizophrenia. 



TV on the Radio: Opposite World. 📺 “Stranger Things”

I have spoken about opposite world for a while now. It was a big part of the “delusion” I was dragged into. You can prolly search my blog and find a few posts. 

The more I went into occult groups on facebook trying to understand what was happening to me, was it a spell, voodoo, abilities, was abucted, a puppet, possessed by body snatchers, the more i was met with all these occultist would keep talking about the balance of dark and light. That “as above so below“. Honestly they are the only ones that speak about this, so I doubt they are getting raped and molested by demons so its easy for them to talk about “balancing the darkness”, because its only relatative to the illusionary power or “knowledge” they think they have. Or that anyone that wasn’t aware of the dark…. Or generally happy was a “spiritual bypasser”. 

It took me a while to watch second season of “Stranger Things”, to be honest mainly because it had kids in it and I really didn’t have the stamina to be raped or molested by this Archon Reptilian Entity while it said sick things and then called ME a child molestor. Because this demon wants me to “Die of Molestation”. 

My fear was then sparked again Eleven was named the sexiest woman by W Magazine and I and most of my friends where like WTF, she’s 13years old! And then Mara Wilson who played Matilda back in the day wrote an article for Elle Magazine talking about all the letters from pedophiles she received when she was a little girl and how they would make sick videos with her face imposed on it and it fucked her up. 

So with all that, and knowing how disgusting these Archon Reptilians are, I opted out watching this season. I knew after reading that article about her being named sexy the Archon’s would target her in my psyche. And I wouldn’t get to actually enjoy the show. Its an awesome show anf i love Winoa Ryder, shes kinda my spirit animal right now. It’s not hypersexualized like say “Girls” or “Game of Thrones” which I just couldn’t get through. My ex (twin flame) wanted me to watch Game of Thrones and even before all this happened I didn’t want to watch the rape scene and ended up covering my eyes with his arms until it was over. Its was too much. 

Either way thanks W Magainze for sensationalizing and sexualizing children and one of the few shows out there that’s actually not. 

ANYWAY. 

I mean things have dialed down to about 25% which is still too much for me, and at times they flare up and I can’t put my finger on the reason why…. I observe and catch trends quickly. Maybe there isn’t an actual reason. Just random. Not based on me or what I do. Even though I’ve tried everything to keep it at a minimum. 

So things are at 25% give or take the day. I KNOW for a fact I am not a child molestor and would never be in any lifetime, realm or plane. And I’ve watched “Once Upon a Time” all 6/7 seasons 3 times in row at least and Zootopia 2 times a day for a year….. So its time for a change. 

I’m not a TV person actually. I love music, but TV (and writing) engages my mind a bit more to take my mind away from these demons. Listening to music is intimate for me. Before I would go to my special place and make dances that melded into painting turning into a music video. I did the mostly on my commute to or from work. Open my eyes and I was in a train car of 100 people in a city of 8 million. Close my eyes and I was alone in my mind painting beautiful songs in my cave. 

What happens when you have unwelcomed guests in your cave? That won’t leave. Scribbling their song of fear. Perversion ……. And hatred over my personal graffiti. 

So fuck it, it doesn’t matter either way. I know myself enough and want to watch something different. I am currently on episode 3 season 2 when I was triggered to write this. 

One of the characters talked about being in “upside down” world where he is able to see these dark entities and reptile things that don’t like light or heat. Being stuck between dimensions. 

In many ways it feels like this “opposite world” where I see these Archon circles, Reptilians, Geckos, Trolls, Ghosts banshees, portals, False light floating symbols, that can not with stand the Sun or joy or love. So in a way I become a vampire always in the dark, because these energy vampires keep me weak enough to not go outside but alive enough to feed off and play with me. 

I know its not real real. … Like “Stranger Things” is not a documentary. But certain shows or songs, words always find there way to me AFTER I’ve experience certain things and I’m like “OMG you guys its a synchronicity! ” but thats the lure of the dark, and false light always keep you guessing, mysteriousness so you always stay in the trap of trying to figure things out because YOU think there is some gift….. A pot of goal at the end of that dark evil rainbow. Either way I want out. 

Maybe “Stranger Things” is taking from what some of us are really experiencing and turning it into entertainment. Like those scientists represent CERN, which I have not read up on but my friends, who experience the same I, believe that CERN did something to our world that made us vulnerable and more tangible to dark forces. Like they “lifted the veil”, only we want shit put back down. And ELeven (from stranger things) and the other kid is Us who can feel or sense what is happening to us or the other side. Its strange cause other people are having astral sex and atral projecting to Saturn. .. And past life regressing and channeling and having a grand old time and I’m like “the fuck are y’all doing?”. Even when I would read about people doing this I was like “nah I’m good”. There was no lure for me at most I wanted to do shrooms and maybe tripp and see like smurfs or something, but again that would have been from MY own mind. Not whatever disgusting hive mind from the 4th dimension that uses radio, WiFi, emf waves to penetrate our cells and move around or communicate or take over our bodies. The ones that are stalking me prefer ambient (none focused on sound) TV as it seems easier to associate words with their agenda then from my mind. 

So that’s my “Stranger Things” experience, only I’m kinda living it and it sucks. 

 https://youtu.be/j1-xRk6llh4

Princess. 👸

So I was scrolling through Facebook and Bored Panda had the cutest clip about this Dad who Makes Transforming Dresses

I’m into fashion believe it or not. I use to sew crazy performance outfits for my friends who were in the Vogue Ballroom scene. So this dress had what would be called an “effect” ….  Just that little extra bit of wow or drama. 

Either way I’m watching this clip in aww my mouth dropped from the creativity. And I knew any girl or femme would love to have something like that its like you turn into an instant princess. 

BUT OF COURSE THE ENTITY COMES IN and starts saying I’m watching child porn. And I’m like HUH? 

And so I just started crying…. Because I realized I may never think the way I use to ever again. Just…. normal. I have this curse…. This entity……. This inserted thought constantly talking about child abuse in a gross manner. It doesn’t matter what the topic is…. It could furniture….. Or tree. This entity will find a way to pedo that topic to torment my life. And I’m over it. 

I’m sorry I just started crying…. And I write when I cry. I’m tired of being molested and burned and constantly having to think about this topic. I’ve really tried to ignore it…. But then I bust out crying and I can’t help it it upsets me and I know they love it….. its there juice. 

Maybe I should have been heartless…. I wish I had a different fear….. A different thing that upsets me so much…. Idk…. Maybe Protecting the Rainforest or something…..

Just sucks looking at something innocently and then having it turned into something disgusting as soon as you smile. 

Whatever. 😭