Targeted Individuals (pt2)

I’m really not be one for conspiracy theories. I do love a good fanatsy film but I’m not so sure about living one at this point.

I perused a few “targeted individual” forums on Facebook. There seem to be a lot of similarities between “ascension” or “kundalini” symptoms and the symptoms of “targeted individuals”. I have found connections between a LOT of the different beliefs or theories BUT not one answer as to WHY or WHO or HOW. 

Apparently some lady sue some guy for “electronic harassment” (you know that static in your ears or that voice in your head, ect) and won, but she found who it was I’m not sure how this applies elsewhere. I mean logically to me if a man is electronically harassing someone I (court of law) would figure out where he retrieved the technology to do so and regulate there. But that’s just me being logical in an illogical world.

So these are your average everyday folks who seem normal having not normal experiences. As I said schizophrenia is either suppose to be one percent of the world population (which is approx 72million). Which is a lot but not lot a lot when you add up people hearing the voice of god(s), psychics, ghost hunters, alien watchers, schizo’s, demonic entity attatchments, witches, time travelers and whatever else you can come up with.

Most seem to have some sort of religious connotation, but I guess with an experience like this one would def seek God.

In the forum a few people talked about the perverted experience of being a “targeted indivual” or MK Ultra or whatever. 

I blanked out the names but these are also public posts below.

There is a theme of perversion. Hard working people with families having to struggle with this type of experience. Both men and women fearing for their lives and their children as well. And dare I say unnecessarily. Fear base experiences that have nothing to do with the essense of that individual. Or even their true psychology.

I’m not one to dive deep into conspiracy theories….. But this is waaaaaaaaaay out of control. I actually don’t care what IT is…. But I do want this to cease and desist not only for me but for others as well.

There is always a carrot. If its not something or someone it is your own personal freedom. 

What causes one to have a better delusion than the other? What triggers it? 

Either way some of my findings on this sad sad SAD road to probably no where. 

“Higher self” and suicide?

Hypothetically: Would the “higher self” force the I guess “human self” into suicide?

Would the higher self actually say “tired of looking at you fucking up”? Cause wouldn’t that ultimately mean the “higher self” fucked up? 

Just saying.

I guess I am currently in an ocean of terms, ideologies, beliefs and practices ….. Overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. Nothing fits just right. Does this belief make my butt look to big?

Yes. Yes it does.

Discernment has been so important. Because if I truly believed that this Entity was my ex, or God, or Satan…… I would not be here right now. And as much as I want to forgive this abusive being I also must remind myself of this fact.

Today yet another woman expressed having a very similar experience as I. I mean the white outs, choking sensations (not anxiety) as well as a voice calling her a bitch and saying “I’m leaving, I’m never coming back”. I am sure that’s the tip of the iceberg.  

This is soooo similar to the catch phrases that the Entity uses with me its almost scary.

  • “I’m fired” / “You’re fired”
  • I’m never coming back again
  • You will never see me again
  • I’m leaving / “Go Home”

These are just SOME of the catch phrases there are plethora of others depending on the theme or topic.

So why would two different people (women) on different sides of the world and from different cultures and with different symbols and language have an Entity telling them practically the exact same thing???


Por QUE!

I haven’t spoken to her directly to exchange any other notes. But Yea…… It is exhausting. I am glad she was able to position herself to at least stand her ground and know it is NOT her and she is NOT just schizophrenic……

As I said before I ….. I am (personally) where I have attributed all these “mystical” experiences (“angel” sparkles, shadows, spirits, telepathy, “voice of god”, aliens whatever) to this Entity. So…. My beliefs are kinda at a standstill …. But at the same time I look for information.

My only thing is does my exclusive experience with this Entity emulating them mean…. They do not exist? That’s why I try not impose of people too much. I mean whatever gets you through the day. But at the same time I’m about truth AND safety and when those things are compromised…… On a fundamental level….. The “self”….. What do you do other than hold space for each other? 

Allow one to draw their own conclusions with out imposing too much…..

Let Go and Let God 

9. You can stop a Kundalini awakening. Unfortunately the answer to this is also “no”. I have worked with a lot of people at this point who have been to well-meaning healers who “teach” people how to stop their Kundalini, or treat it as anything from a possession state to mental illness to an energetic aberration that must be “fixed”. This causes a lot of chaos, pain, and emotional/spiritual damage and trauma to the experiencer of the Kundalini awakening. What can be done is to process whatever is coming up, to surrender, to let go and let God, so to speak. There are specific tools that can be taught, understandings that can be had to come into better alignment and have a better relationship with Kundalini. Once you are out of your first three chakras things typically improve a bit, or at least are not so physical in scope, and you have a better perspective of the process. There are teachers, such as myself, who can help you learn these skills. There are also many healers, such as CranioSacral therapists, who remain in a neutral, witness state to help you process energy and the trauma, emotions, etc. that are coming up.


I Google searched “how to stop Kundalini”, I found this article with much disappointment. Because I’m done. I’m over it. I want my life back….. Not like the things but my actual life. To get out of the coma…. “Cocoon” phase…. How long is a cocoon phase? Isolation and imprisonment are two VERY different things.

I wondered if I am having two different experiences at the same time. Both a natural “kundalini awakening” as well as an Entity attack. To my understanding Kundalini is when you have this over surge of energy and abilities…. Come into play. But wonder if both your abundance of energy and “abilities” just make you more appealing to whatever entities that have been hanging around. To either play around with or cultivate/ harvest somehow for their own gain. 

Just a theory.

I don’t know what else to say. I mean if I had/have and abundance of energy or natural abilities it would make sense that an Entity would want to use them for their own gain or get rid of me. But why? 

I try to be careful of the stories allow myself to believe but these are kind of facts at this point…. I have experienced a lot of “kundalini” like symptoms and this entity has tried to get rid of me or make me crack into insanity. 

I also caution myself from a Grandiose idea of who I am or know myself to be…. As I am a human clearly flawed and vulnerable. I always thought my super power was kindness and often jokingly called myself a Care Bear…. Because I knew how ridiculous it is to want to save the world. But I know my place and my limits.

Maybe I wasn’t protected enough…. I never had spirit guided or animals or angels …. Although it was fun to look up the symbology. 

Just a theory …. Entities lurking around waiting for you to go through our natural metamorphis for either gain or to snuff it out. Filling our minds with all kinds of stories and fears to distract us from our simple transformation.

Maybe thats why so many people are having these botched ass awakening…… I mean I can understand confronting ones fears….. But living in a purpetual state of fear? Having these commonalities among so many people loosing their shit. This Entity seemed like he had too much fun with this for this to be an Angel in disguise.

Just a theory. I am open To being and hope to God that I am wrong. 

Making a meaning out of life. 

So… I know your suppose to “just experience life” ….. But what happens when everything is stripped from you? 

Who am I? 

What am I? 

Why am I even here? And not just here birthed on this earth but in this present moment whether it is fleeting or perpetual state of being. 

How do I welcome the things that I actually want in my life? Or is this idea of even wanting, or attracting a privileged western idea of deserving? 

Am I deserving? 

Rebuilding? Love? Self love? Community? Life? Basic needs? What are basic? 

My creativity has been dulled… So has my sexual drive. I feel dry… Not necessarily uninspired but…. Dry. Afraid…but not scared. Wounded. 

I’m looking for my motivation to come back. My drive… Happiness. Direction. A conclusion… Or comfort. 

Am I deserving of comfort? 

The spirit… Voice … Looks for anyway in. That’s how he “plays”. 

He said, “you have been replaces” 

Me “by who?”

Him, “someone more deserving” 

Me, “says who?”

Him, (my twin flames name) 

Me, “who said I was talking of him? ”

So…. He will find anyway to make me feel bad… Even as I work through my shit. 

Am I deserving of this experience? 

Hearing a voice constantly berate me? Killing my vibe. Destroying will and removing everything I held dear.

The great escape…. 

Tear do nothing

I have been trying not to cry. Only because no have cried so much over the last year. People say let it out…. But I now associate it with this experience that I had/ have with the spirit voice. That maybe if I didn’t cry so much that this thing wouldn’t have been able to get me…. Or maybe something in my system just cracked. 

I watched a music video that my ex of 6 years (the one I dont think is my TF) and I started to cry. It was the first time I cried about the departure of our relationship even though we have managed to stay friends for 3 years now. I listened to the lyrics and wondered if he knew it was time for us to break up. In general its a sad song idk why is was stupid and allowed myself to watch it. But it was the first time I missed the comfort of our relationship. 

I had a decent day with a friend and I was telling her that I had a hard time applying what I thought I learned in my previous relationship to the one I thought was my twin flame. Then what I thought I learned with my twin flame to this new guy I dated. And its just like maybe I’m missing something. Trying to not go too fast, but still be open. Trying to be open, but still being honest. Trying to be honest, but still letting go. 

Its like trying to shove a square in the star shape. 

I went and had a cigarette. Tried to calm down. My sister (who is incapacitated) was sitting up in bed uncomfortable.. . the lights were off..  I saw the bags under her eyes…  Hair cut from being in the hospital too long … In pain. And I started to cry again trying to hold it back because I feel helpless. Like I can’t change her eatting habits or way of life and I got real scared.

In the height of my dillusion/ kundalini whatever I said I would switch bodies with her if I could. Idk make it healthy and then give it back to her or something completely impossible like that. But I meant it. 

I know I have been complaining about being back at my parents and giving up almost everything. Am I allowed to have my feelings? Frustrations? 

If the “universe/spirit” is scolding me for not being greatful isn’t that the same frustration? Am I allowed to come to my own understanding organically? 

I’m tired of crying. … It doesn’t do much. Just makes me afraid that this spirit/voice feeds off of it. 

I can’t wait to cry tears of joy. Ones where my sister is better. One where my love is returned. Another for when I feel happy again in my own skin. 

Curating my life

How am I able to curate my life if I have this negative force (spirit) influencing my discission?

Although I know the difference, for how much longer will I be able to endure? 

How do I build with out having to keep rebuilding every time? Moving on with out everything being burnt to the ground. 

Nothing has ever been stable. Consistent. And while I have learn to roll with punches …. Ride the wave …. There is only some life crisis one can take before you wonder wtf. 

I’ve tried hard … Worked hard… To build something that’s stable, meaningful, joyful and yet soon its just sand in my palm. 

So how do I allow the things in my life that will build a solid foundation… A foundation for health, joy, prosperity, success? Love? 

Love was always my foundation. Whether at work or in personal relationships. But now I’m not sure what love is anymore. I’m not sure what I need in my life to not have to keep rebuilding …. Taking left turns.