Thieves in the Temple πŸ‘‘

If God wasn’t a loving and forgiving God do you think that these evil things would exist?

For whatever reason all creations exist as is ….. And have the choice and opportunity to evolve past its “nature”. 

What we currently think is our nature is conditioning. We could be living in caves…. But we have “evolved” to houses. But some how racism and sexism and sexual violence ect is just seems SO FAR past our reachability over the say million years.

It is the same as these Entities. I’ve said this before. If God wanted to wipe out these Entities with the snap of a cosmic finger God could. If they are from the firery pits of hell,. .  .. Then why are they here, or how do they have access to humans? Maybe these were lies we were told. Maybe humans were told this lie to keep them from committing “crimes” or “sin”. Sin is only relative to the human experience. So what laws do “Entities” have to abide by? Cause they seem pretty lawless to me. 

Clearly everything exists with in its nature. And to some extent I have accept that these Entities exist with in their own nature. Not something I personally want to observe. But I am currently forced to watch. I do NOT have to accept them as my own nature unless they choose to actually do so. And that is a major deception that human beings must evolve past. Understanding what is true human nature and what is not. 

I would assume that Entities have the same opportunity to evolve with the limits of “free will”. That is a choice they must make for themselves individually and as a whole.

I have many thieves in my temple. Telling me I’M the thief, when humans are innately self preserving. Whatever it is that they are here for, it is not theirs to have.

Maybe I’m too logical for this world. 


You Are Welcome πŸ™

I was practicing a Chi breathing technique on YouTube that a friend sent to me.

I noticed some blocks and add ons but whatever I always notice.

Either way, it talked about creating chi and then bringing it back into the body.

I rememered a moment when this all first started happening and my chest extending out past my shoulders felt like I was opened up. That’s when I first started to feel like I was dying.

I didn’t feel much in my center now, just this tender heart. I figured the entity took all my chi, that’s why all I can do right now is sleep, eat cookies and cry about the world.

The guy talking in the video said that we are “the most powerful free energy devices on the planet”.

So I immediately told the Entity, “you are welcome….” And I meant it. I wasn’t being sarcastic as usual. It was a gift.

I figured that I gave (well it took) my energy to this Entity. I just don’t know how to reve my chi back up yet……

…… Wonder if instead of scaring the shit out of me, disrespecting me, violating, if other entity beings whatever where to be upfront? Maybe we could live peacefully. 

Entity would be like, “Yo I really need this chi, I will make it quick.”

They won’t and… Maybe can’t tell me who or what they are. Maybe I’m too peace loving and just feel like if we just put the truth out there it would easier for all of us and work something out. 

Who knows, maybe I would be like “sure homie, you can have some of this chi love!” And i would just go wipe some more up later.

I can give with out receiving. But I don’t know I just need a bit of honesty.

Who knows maybe chi doesn’t even exists. Maybe I am pulling this out of my ass. Maybe they don’t need all this brain electric goodness or this golden chi.

All I know is, there has to be a better way.


Crazy Talks: What I See πŸ‘€

Just jotting down some notes.

I don’t see this on anyone else but myself.

There are two very distinct things I see other than the visions. I see the these circle dots that can divide into multipuls. And I see this vibrating heat wave looking thing that moves in and out of me. Think like a clear slimmer from ghost busters. 

So I was commenting on a post to a lady that says she can remove implants and the slimmer thing shot out of my stomach and my stomach/ back area vibrated trembled and I could see it moving around outside of me. 

Noe occasionally I during the day will get headaches or I will feel the pressure on my head and I will hear almost like a distant train tremble vibration. I think this vibrating clear thing is the pressure I feel on my head, the anxiety, its like its the ….. Emotion and sensation maker. I don’t know if it is a separate entity or controlled. My guess it is controlled. 

Now the circle dot thing seems to be the visions/ dreams/ hallucinations/ Logo maker. But I’m not sure to what extent it morphs and uses light. If I pinch the corners of my eyes I see a circle of light in each corner. Not sure if this is bad or good. But I’m sure it plays its part. I have literally seen visions (waking dreams) fade away into almost a logo (a simple none color emoji vision), I have also seems dreams fade as well. 

So I see this dot thing that was never there before as the cause of the visions. And this energy slimmer thing as the cause of the sensations I feel. 
After it jumped out of my stomach it went for GUESS WHERE you guys??!?? My VAGINA! Of course! My vagina! I felt it go there after it shot out.

I’m really over this Scooby doo mystery. Seriously. 

πŸ’” Fake Happy 😭😭😭😭

So last night and this morning I guess I an in greif mode because I’m so upset about my health and I feel stuck and lost, and poor.

So because I am so keen on myself, or because I’m balling my eyes out when I stop crying I can feel the entity trying to make me “fake happy”. It lime feeling all your facial muscles trying to smile, it doesn’t feel natural, a little bit of a blank mind.

This demon entity uses “positive emotions”, as well to control people. 

I am literally grieving my body and all the pain, memories, and fat that has been stored in this vessel. 

Although my sister still has to use a cane. She has started to go back to work to push herself in her healing process, and now I’m here lost in my own.

I know I have to loose weight I just don’t know how to do it in this current circumstance. Food is so expensive around here, and being active is painful with this entity attached to my throat, head ect. 

I just don’t know what to do any more. ME I’ve finally ran out of answers. I was always the bitch with an answer, solution and something to say. 

And I have no idea what to do now and I am at a lost for words as to how fucked I feel.

The “Spiritual Bypass” 😷

I was thinking after someone thanked me for being raw in my journal. Can someone actually “spiritually bypass”?

I understand the concept, that some people are essentially spiritual fuckboys, a faΓ§ade of sorts to gain favorablity or even worse your cash flow. 

But the idea is kind of counter intuitive in the sense that, where ever someone is “spiritually” is exactly where they should be. I mean can you truly induce or avoid an awakening? I don’t think many had a choice.

I think the concept of spiritual bypass should be taken even more broadly. I read many articles on “awakening” , “ascension” and spirituality trying to deeply understand what was happening to me. 

I was met with these beautiful purple blue astral DMT trip images of someone in a state of bliss or enlightenment (we’ve all seen that blue guy, and its always a guy). With some articles listing the top 10 ways to know you are awakening. Usually its intense isolation and loss. 

It goes on to explain heighten “psychic abilities”, along with a message that this is a “gift”. 😩 bruh. 

Like can we put the fairtales aside?

Awakening, possession or severe mental illness, either way this shit sucks. 

Its like that lie we tell most women that “childbirth is the most rewarding thing ever“, not being real about the fact your insides are gonna fall out, tailbone crack and probably have to wear a maxi pad just to keep from peeing on yourself.

Like be real about it.

Uhg its the same fairytale with “twin flames”. Twin flame is literally like being sent to hell. And yet for the past what 6 years or so people have been trying to surrender something I don’t even know in order to get into “union”. That its called heart break…… And if you were unlucky enough to catch one of these demons…  Its called obsession.

Let’s get real. There is a meeting point of psychology, spirituality and science.

The fluff and glamour is getting people way thrown off. Blissed out, love and light, all powerful black sorcerer with skull rings. Like get a fucking grip.

Love is a decision, it is an conscious action, it is a struggle.

I don’t trust the state of “bliss” any more than I trust the anxiety, depression. Any or all can be mimicked by an “entity”, and if you are addicted to bliss, welp…. Have fun.

Don’t try to act like you’re above anyone because magically “trancended ego” and all the way up in the ether on the 12 dimensions looking down on all the poor people who have idea what the fuck you are talking about.

We are one, we are the world no separation, bla bla….. GUESS WHAT the world is hurting, bleeding profusely of its energy and resources. Its people outside of your bliss bubble are in pain, a pain so indescribable they choose to stay silent about until one day….. It catches up with them.

On that day….. I hope some, anyone will be honest about how this shit sucks on every level. And how vunerable and human we are…… And how they are not alone. And how we need them…. 

That’s all. 

L I F E 🌍

So humans been around for like 7 MILLION years on 4 BILLION year old planet and I have this fucking demon trying to force me into suicide at 30 years so I can’t live what my miserable average of 75?

That’s 1% in a fraction of time when there is 7+ Billion people on the planet. 

Like damn can I just eat some veggies and be with someone who honestly loves me?

NOPE, I have to be terrorized into suicide by some gross ass demon. 

Shit is so fucked. 

Destruction πŸ’€

The Demon promoted the idea that distruction is some sort of ….. Necessary movement towards…….. Idk. Be honest. 

What would we do, if the would was perfect? 

I don’t need to have the answer.

I know this running around in circles putting out eon long fires ain’t doing much for us. That is for sure.

Is that what we have programmed ourselves to believe? Death….. Is not destruction. So let’s get that out of the way. Things die out…. Racism should have fucking died out a long time ago…. But nope let’s have a fucking revival ….. That is destruction. 

Destruction goes against the nature of death. If natural death of anything was to take its course destruction would not be necessary. 

Just my personal opinion.

So not destruction does not create jobs, or invention. It creates unnatural unnecessary death. 

My Comment from Forum


This made me sad. I was given this life. No choice that I am conscious of. (Please spare me of soul contracts). 

And well I’ve pushed and tried my hardest and almost thought I was there until I just recently developed massive schizophrenia out of no where last year. 

There was a life I wanted. Hearing this really cruel and disgusting voice all day was the furthest thing I thought my life would be like. Do I want “this life” NO. 

But I was given it. I try to cherish that even though I don’t want to live like this.


I live in on a planet…. A world…. Where things happen…. That I don’t want to. I am both vulnerable and helpless in the sense I don’t feel like I can do much about it. I try. In pieces. Here and there.

I live in a country…… A state… A city…. Where things I wish didn’t ….. happen….. I pay taxes…. I’m compliant…. In a way…. Not complacent…. Maybe I can make a change…. Hope…. Maybe I have.

And I have these interactions. These relationships in hope that no one would stab me in my heart or back. I tried to protect myself. I wondered ….. Observed…. I could never understand with all the terrible things in the world…. Why I could never relax with the ones I cared about…. Or if I did… Finally… I would get hurt.

I’m in this body….. I’m sorry. I mistreat it. I smoke…. Eat crap most days…..and most recently when the world is too much….. carbs feel like a blanket in my mouth. 

I’m in this body….. I can’t protect it. It was raped. Physically ….. on a date…. Energetically everyday by a demon. In fact right now…. It is happening. I write to take my mind off of it. I’ve learned not to cry too much. Save my tears for things more important than me.

I feel compromised at every level of my existence.

Helpless. Fearless at the same time. Tired mostly. And tired of being tired.

Enough is never enough.

Targeted Individuals (pt2)

I’m really not be one for conspiracy theories. I do love a good fanatsy film but I’m not so sure about living one at this point.

I perused a few “targeted individual” forums on Facebook. There seem to be a lot of similarities between “ascension” or “kundalini” symptoms and the symptoms of “targeted individuals”. I have found connections between a LOT of the different beliefs or theories BUT not one answer as to WHY or WHO or HOW. 

Apparently some lady sue some guy for “electronic harassment” (you know that static in your ears or that voice in your head, ect) and won, but she found who it was I’m not sure how this applies elsewhere. I mean logically to me if a man is electronically harassing someone I (court of law) would figure out where he retrieved the technology to do so and regulate there. But that’s just me being logical in an illogical world.

So these are your average everyday folks who seem normal having not normal experiences. As I said schizophrenia is either suppose to be one percent of the world population (which is approx 72million). Which is a lot but not lot a lot when you add up people hearing the voice of god(s), psychics, ghost hunters, alien watchers, schizo’s, demonic entity attatchments, witches, time travelers and whatever else you can come up with.

Most seem to have some sort of religious connotation, but I guess with an experience like this one would def seek God.

In the forum a few people talked about the perverted experience of being a “targeted indivual” or MK Ultra or whatever. 

I blanked out the names but these are also public posts below.

There is a theme of perversion. Hard working people with families having to struggle with this type of experience. Both men and women fearing for their lives and their children as well. And dare I say unnecessarily. Fear base experiences that have nothing to do with the essense of that individual. Or even their true psychology.

I’m not one to dive deep into conspiracy theories….. But this is waaaaaaaaaay out of control. I actually don’t care what IT is…. But I do want this to cease and desist not only for me but for others as well.

There is always a carrot. If its not something or someone it is your own personal freedom. 

What causes one to have a better delusion than the other? What triggers it? 

Either way some of my findings on this sad sad SAD road to probably no where.