Mantis Problems 🐜

So…………. I think one of my main problems is a Mantis / Mantid problem. In an article on Gaia.com they identified them as shapeshifters which would make sense as to why I was seeing so many different characters. I mean they literally have a bag full of tricks. They can look human with enough “light magic” or like a classic grey alien. I have seen Sunglasses and Masks they put on. They seem to be made out of Ether. Ether …. is malleable. If anything it’s keeping it together that is the real art.

Either way, these assholes had a bunch of babies in my house and I’m losing my mind. I am not sure what my relation is in this process. But I feel like I died a thousand times. I mean if you are a good being, and you need help like JUST ASK!!!!! Whats with all this nasty shit? JUST ASK and be nice and decent!!! People donate blood right? Food? Money? time? resources? So if these beings needed something so bad all they had to do was ask! and make some sense about it. And trust that I would use my own guidance. and if I said no move along. There are plenty of hippies out here willing and able. And now I’m sitting here feeling like death barely able to write and take a crap in a day.

Like it had to be 100’s of babies. And I’m not sure if they put another load in.

I am not even sure if they are the ones acting like Reptilians or Shadow people or Trolls since they can shapeshift.

Side note: The reason they like TV is because it’s predictable especially with commercials. They love pop entertainment for some reason. And I seem to be apart of it.

My friend said to get Organite towers to get rid of them but I don’t want to pay for yet ANOTHER thing that will disappoint me and waste money I don’t have. They aren’t cheap range in $30 for a small one the size of my palm to $100+ for one the size of a small statue.

So why they are connected to me I don’t know. Babies? Energy food? Pure delight and entertainment? They hate humans? False sense of control? They did try to say they were God more than like 1000 times, especially after I rejected the whole Isis and Osiris bit. I was like do you know how many bitches out here think they are Isis reincarnated? maybe I just don’t understand how reincarnation works. But from my knowledge at the time they then moved on to the Big G.

Side note: I think an entity or entities use different frequencies for different things. Like light frequency is for movement, radio waves for sound and speaking. I’m not sure but you get my drift that maybe each wavelength if they tap into it allows them partial access. People are super concerned about Wifi and EMF and I’m not too sure where they lay on the spectrum or how they interact with the body I know people say its harmful to the body but I’m not sure how they interact on a spiritual or metaphysical level.

So I believe that’s one Large chunk of my issue is the Mantid’s. I just don’t know how to get rid of them or why they are here in the first place.

I’m not going to make this too long but I’m pretty set on that being a consistent part of this experience. And they tend to hide behind people (humans), or images of idols, or masks. So it makes a lot of sense.

Now on to WHY THE FUCK DID THEY RUIN MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deep breath……….. deep breath…….

 

“I AM Isis”: The Throne

When I first started hearing audible voices the Entities pretended to be my ex (false twin flame) an practically was forcing me to say “I am Isis”. Every day for almost a month the voice of my ex or a woman pretending to be an angel or his friend or something kept saying just say “I am Isis” and I mean Isis is cool. I know a lot of twin flames dig her.

When I was young my family gave me a lot of Egyptian children’s toys. And I always kinda loved mythology growing up. But these Entities definitely ruined that for me.

So in my twenties many of my friends were Caribbean mainly Haitian and Puerto Rican and so Ifa (Yoruba) and Santeria were things were talked about. So I also studied some of the mythology as well since many of my friends references these Gods and Goddesses as like some one would say Isis.

When I looked up the name of Isis, her name means. So Isis means “throne” in Egyptian mythology.

I never understood why they wanted me to call myself Isis. First they said I was in a past life, then they said it was code names, then it just got all really crazy and mixed up and scary.

Either way I was thinking yesterday about about something. One of the Entities who was dressed as an “Acturian” wrote in a photo “I test before I sit”, I told her I fail and she can have a seat somewhere else. One that didn’t feel very “Acturian” in nature and I don’t trust anyone now.

In Santeria and I believe in Ifa (might be called something different) called “mounting” which the Orisha takes over the human body. Usually these are designated ceremonies for this.

So the other day it’s like this experience and the name Isis and mounting all clicking for a moment.

My mind my body is a throne in which these entities sit who wish to be worshipped like Gods and or Goddesses. But unfortunately from what I SEE they are not. They don’t act like it, look like it and unless rape and migraines is Goddess status nah.

I can’t say how it is for other religions. I know Orishas have very specific ways they are suppose to act. So I guess I’m trying to understand where does my experience fall in all of this.

Triggered: Goddess Isis 🐝

As I said before when I was a kid my family gave me a lot of Egyptian stuff. Books, kits, games, writing stuff, art …. going to the museum. So it was something that always stuck with me.

But the Demonic Archon was forcing me to say “I AM Isis” and then called itself Osiris (my ex twin flame) and was raping me and calling me a child molestor and then forcing me to be christian and then trying to force me into suicide (“for my twin flame and dying of molestation”) and just all kinda shit. Just fucked up shit. 

And so like you know shit comes up on Facebook about goddess…. Like whatever …. But it Isis came up a few times today and I feel triggers. Like something that was special to me…. Has been defiled. it just reminds me of rape. That was something my family gave to me.

They rape visions as Isis…. Where fucked up. Like idk.

I don’t know what the point of all of that was or is.

So…. Whatever. 

Tale from Earthsea (True Name)

It’s funny the Entity wanted to give me/ force me to take on the name Isis because it was a mythology I read as a child. I had strange children stories when I was a kid. One was about a coconut tree and the other were ones from Egypt. My uncle went to the University of Cairo so there was always this element as a child.

Either way the Entity would always scream “She doesn’t even know her name!!” “What is your name?!” “Do you even know who you are?”

At which point I would say my birth name along with my social security number and address cause I didn’t give a fuck anymore.

There is a story about how Isis tricked Ra into giving his true name in order to take his knowledge and powers. There are various versions of this but more less that was it. (I didn’t learn this until much later and didn’t know she was so……. aggressive.) 

I read the bible a little bit in church. But I always try to fact check because people love spinning the the bible to fit their hatred. When this all started I the Entity tried to act as my mom to force me to read the bible. So I started and when I did the Entity started reading ahead of me calling me stupid, burning my vag, and just being a psychopath as usual. But the visions and torture was enough to keep me from praying and reading the bible.

At that point, I decided to keep it simple. My faith in a loving God and a prayer in my heart. Those two things I walked this whole way with because things where getting too complicated. I mean they still are. And I hope that God would understand. I’ve always been an intuitive learner anyway. I remember reading history books as a child and being like naw that don’t seem right. But thats just how I am. I am use to gentle lessons and “knowledge” that comes through a deep understanding. 

Either way. This Entity still keeps going on about how its God, and how I’m learning some lesson, like it got something to teach me REALLY. And can’t “wait till you see”… bla bla bla. I wish I had a mute button at least. 

So I watched this anime movie “Tales from Earthsea” (image above) which soothed my weakened heart. I really love the work of Hayao’s son Gorō Miyazaki, who did “Spirited Away”. They are just really beautiful, calming sweet tales. Bake a whole batch of cookies, make some hot coco, curl up in your favorite PJs and just watch this beautiful 2 hour flick. 

In a FB group today just now someone asked about information “The ones with no names”, so I googled that and the word spiritual to understand what it was all about, and came upon a beautiful bible verse. 

So it all related to my experience as well as to the beautiful movie I watched as well as this beautiful bible verse that just came up. To have a name only known between you and the True God. How precious is that?!

Granted not everything comes like many writings say. Awakening is not a DMT trip (well… It’s a trip but not an Alex Great painting) , and the “name” you receive from God will probably not be on an actual white stone. So we just gotta be chill about things.

Either way. No I have no idea what that name is. But its just such a beautiful thing to think about in this world where everything …. Including religion….  Has been tarnished. That no one could tarnishish the name the signature that God gave you.

🌹

With this Entity/ Schizophrenia it is always easy to get wrapped up in a storyline of sorts. This storyline is a distraction because its a game, a play for this Entity. And for me it is my life. The only one I have been given…. With so little time here. But there are special moments…. Messages, and symbolism that we can can cherish. So I will remain grounded in who I am and know myself to be…. While appreciating the many facets that I have organically come across in this experience. 

🌹🌹

1111 Movement and “Spirituality” 

Twin flames, Angel Numbers, Arch Angels, 1111 movement, “Light Workers”, ect.

I came into 1111 “movement” thing because since I was young I saw flashes of light and sparkles, when I was around 28ish basically I started seeing the 1111 along with 777 everywhere. 

I always loved symbology as an artist so. When I found out that the flashes of light AND the numbers popping up meant “my angels were around me”. I felt comforted as not too long before some dude attempted to rob me at my job.

I finally found an answer to the flashing lights that wasn’t a tumor…. And a reason for everything in my life coming up 777 receipt, bus fare, numbers on my spread sheet. Insane. But that’s part of the game. 

Still not fully understanding (and still not), in 2016, those “angels” became “demons”. Who once had my trust played all kinds of games and tortured me. And there was one. Just one cause I’m not that special. Just one that played so many characters through the delusion. 

So unfortunately ive some to my own conclusion that this angel, love and light, 1111 movement is just a distraction and is based on a lie. If they were actual angels of love and light…. Great. But they are not. They are not assisting anyone in evolving or ascending or whatever you want to think.

Thinging you “ascending to 5D earth” or this whole “clearing karma” is not much different than the “doomsday peppers” or judgment day or rapture. Like that guy who predicted we were all gonna die on 12/12/12. Cheat you out of your life and work. 

They do the same thing with other beliefs and religions it seems.

Its sad that a beautiful concept is now being used to entrap people into a lie. Like how many people are out here talking and channeling “Arch Angel Micheal” ? Doesn’t he have better things to do than to be giving tarot card readings? Maybe I’m just being too logical.

I’m not fond of lies. I mean that’s why you even go to a tarot card reader? To find out the truth right? Meanwhile you are boldly being lied to.

This guy gave me a book to read “Conversations with God” trash. That ain’t God! I haven’t finished it cause this demon keeps making it gross like everything else…. But I’m gonna finish it before I trash it.

I wish I knew the answer cause I would tell you, but these things are out here deceiving people. No you are not invoking Isis, Ochun, Thor or anything else. They are a lying to you. 

Now if they want to tell the truth…. Cool we can have a conversation. But the only way they will is if they make it seems like they have power over you. That they are greater than you. And Yea they have a few tricks for our brain…. But if they were really that amazing there would be no need to lie or hide or hurt people and call it “Ascension symptoms”. Ain’t no light worker helped with this shit yet. All they doing is making pretty crystal grids and praying to their own demon while taking peoples money. 

Getting tired of the bullshit. 

My assumption is that they are pathetic lonely beings all going to the same school to spook people…. Cause they ain’t got nothing else better to do with their formless existence but try to cheat you out of yours.

Spirituality does not mean sitting her playing with fucking spirits. It means being aware of your own. 

You want an awakening. There it is. 

Wake the fuck up!

“Higher self” and suicide?

Hypothetically: Would the “higher self” force the I guess “human self” into suicide?

Would the higher self actually say “tired of looking at you fucking up”? Cause wouldn’t that ultimately mean the “higher self” fucked up? 

Just saying.

I guess I am currently in an ocean of terms, ideologies, beliefs and practices ….. Overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. Nothing fits just right. Does this belief make my butt look to big?

Yes. Yes it does.

Discernment has been so important. Because if I truly believed that this Entity was my ex, or God, or Satan…… I would not be here right now. And as much as I want to forgive this abusive being I also must remind myself of this fact.

Today yet another woman expressed having a very similar experience as I. I mean the white outs, choking sensations (not anxiety) as well as a voice calling her a bitch and saying “I’m leaving, I’m never coming back”. I am sure that’s the tip of the iceberg.  

This is soooo similar to the catch phrases that the Entity uses with me its almost scary.

  • “I’m fired” / “You’re fired”
  • I’m never coming back again
  • You will never see me again
  • I’m leaving / “Go Home”

These are just SOME of the catch phrases there are plethora of others depending on the theme or topic.

So why would two different people (women) on different sides of the world and from different cultures and with different symbols and language have an Entity telling them practically the exact same thing???

Hmmmm?????????????!

Por QUE!

I haven’t spoken to her directly to exchange any other notes. But Yea…… It is exhausting. I am glad she was able to position herself to at least stand her ground and know it is NOT her and she is NOT just schizophrenic……

As I said before I ….. I am (personally) where I have attributed all these “mystical” experiences (“angel” sparkles, shadows, spirits, telepathy, “voice of god”, aliens whatever) to this Entity. So…. My beliefs are kinda at a standstill …. But at the same time I look for information.

My only thing is does my exclusive experience with this Entity emulating them mean…. They do not exist? That’s why I try not impose of people too much. I mean whatever gets you through the day. But at the same time I’m about truth AND safety and when those things are compromised…… On a fundamental level….. The “self”….. What do you do other than hold space for each other? 

Allow one to draw their own conclusions with out imposing too much…..