You Are Welcome πŸ™

I was practicing a Chi breathing technique on YouTube that a friend sent to me.

I noticed some blocks and add ons but whatever I always notice.

Either way, it talked about creating chi and then bringing it back into the body.

I rememered a moment when this all first started happening and my chest extending out past my shoulders felt like I was opened up. That’s when I first started to feel like I was dying.

I didn’t feel much in my center now, just this tender heart. I figured the entity took all my chi, that’s why all I can do right now is sleep, eat cookies and cry about the world.

The guy talking in the video said that we are “the most powerful free energy devices on the planet”.

So I immediately told the Entity, “you are welcome….” And I meant it. I wasn’t being sarcastic as usual. It was a gift.

I figured that I gave (well it took) my energy to this Entity. I just don’t know how to reve my chi back up yet……

…… Wonder if instead of scaring the shit out of me, disrespecting me, violating, if other entity beings whatever where to be upfront? Maybe we could live peacefully. 

Entity would be like, “Yo I really need this chi, I will make it quick.”

They won’t and… Maybe can’t tell me who or what they are. Maybe I’m too peace loving and just feel like if we just put the truth out there it would easier for all of us and work something out. 

Who knows, maybe I would be like “sure homie, you can have some of this chi love!” And i would just go wipe some more up later.

I can give with out receiving. But I don’t know I just need a bit of honesty.

Who knows maybe chi doesn’t even exists. Maybe I am pulling this out of my ass. Maybe they don’t need all this brain electric goodness or this golden chi.

All I know is, there has to be a better way.

πŸŒΏπŸŒΉπŸ‘€πŸ‘½πŸ™βœŒπŸŒΉπŸŒΏ

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Crazy Talks: What I See πŸ‘€

Just jotting down some notes.

I don’t see this on anyone else but myself.

There are two very distinct things I see other than the visions. I see the these circle dots that can divide into multipuls. And I see this vibrating heat wave looking thing that moves in and out of me. Think like a clear slimmer from ghost busters. 

So I was commenting on a post to a lady that says she can remove implants and the slimmer thing shot out of my stomach and my stomach/ back area vibrated trembled and I could see it moving around outside of me. 

Noe occasionally I during the day will get headaches or I will feel the pressure on my head and I will hear almost like a distant train tremble vibration. I think this vibrating clear thing is the pressure I feel on my head, the anxiety, its like its the ….. Emotion and sensation maker. I don’t know if it is a separate entity or controlled. My guess it is controlled. 

Now the circle dot thing seems to be the visions/ dreams/ hallucinations/ Logo maker. But I’m not sure to what extent it morphs and uses light. If I pinch the corners of my eyes I see a circle of light in each corner. Not sure if this is bad or good. But I’m sure it plays its part. I have literally seen visions (waking dreams) fade away into almost a logo (a simple none color emoji vision), I have also seems dreams fade as well. 

So I see this dot thing that was never there before as the cause of the visions. And this energy slimmer thing as the cause of the sensations I feel. 
After it jumped out of my stomach it went for GUESS WHERE you guys??!?? My VAGINA! Of course! My vagina! I felt it go there after it shot out.

I’m really over this Scooby doo mystery. Seriously. 

The Fuckery 😩😩

So this is the type of fuckery I keep getting. 

Prior to this, this person told me I “pissed off the illuniati”, and prior to that said i “was taking night classes in heaven”. 

Another healer told me I “was dealing with guilt and shame of being a healer”, then in the next session said “this is a curse passed down from my father because someone on his side generations back was in a cult”. She also said she removed it. I have yet to see any changes. 

The person above also said they removed “it”. Other readers prior to there told me it was “black magick sent from my ex (twin flame)”, then said it was a negative soul tie with him and he was a false twin flame. 

The demon said to me directly that I was contracted to “commit suicide for my ex (twin flame) by means of child molestation” (visions of child abuse basically trying to force me into suicide). 

SO. This is the type of fuckery I am dealing with. These are the so called healers and psychics are telling me vs what the demon is doing. 

I’m tired and broke. And not one as made this stop.

I’ve been told sooooo many different stories as to WHY this is happening even by the same people, let alone different people. 

I mean these people are over here telling me this story and that story. And I can hear these Demons and they can’t tell me directly but can make up some absurd story to tell a healer, psychic, magic dude, angel light worker, shaman, akashic record reader, demonologist, so THEY can feel complete and accomplished…. Not me.

I’m right here! So what’s the point of telling errybody else different stories?

What’s the fucking point. 

I Deserve This

Its Demon/ Shadow Entity whatever. Pretty simple …. There is no going back from this. There is no SURPRISE I was your angel spirit guide all along pushing you to what? Quit your job, ruin ever relationship, gain 100lb and sleep all day. There really is no coming back from this on any level. 

There is no prize, The demon tried to encourage me to keep going through the experience because in the end I would get my ex back or, be a better person, or some magical awakening ability. No there is no light at the end of this tunnel. You don’t get a prize for enduring pointless visions of child abuse or feeling like your brain is being sucked through a straw. There is no “upgrade” as we are designed as we should be. And I’m pretty sure any evolutionary changes would be extremely slow or generational. 

I deserve this, I clearly have done something to deserve this. Whether it was being disrespectful to my parents when I was young, being gay (who knows), having to to do sex work to survive, doing a few drugs, I might have borrowed/ stolen a couple things in my life. And while I try for the majority my hardest to be honest, I’ve definitely told some lies in my life. 

There is something I did to deserve this. Known or unknown. Do I feel like the punishment fits the crime, whatever it is….. No. But clearly that doesn’t matter. I did something or a couple of things that warrants demons being unleashed on me…. What they do from there… I guess is up to them and its not about being fair. Or balanced, or even learning a lesson at this point. I can’t even find the lesson in all of this because its just too much torture and confusion. Getting a lesson is for our own sake. It is our way of making peace. There is no prize, no lesson. 

This doesn’t excuse or make up for anything I have done. Enduring this doesn’t excuse what I have done in the past to deserve or contract this. This doesn’t wipe the slate clean. This doesnt purify. There is no lesson. Just abuse. 

There is no new age path, story or fantasy that applies. There is no cure. 

Even if my prayers and wishes came true and this Demon(s) *poof* magically went away, there is always the chance that it will come back and either try to ruin my life or make it even worse when I am down. There is no guarantee that this Demon will never come back and be gone forever.

No one will ever love me with this demon around. 

So it doesn’t matter. Nothing I do matters. 
Broken.

Dark Web

A friend had inquired about the “dark web” on Facebook and people began to describe it. Someone said that you can use bitcoin to watch someone get killed. 

Sometimes I wonder if someone is doing something to me. I mean there is “radio” like sounds coming from my head, and next and vag. So I don’t know maybe someone has extreme technology to do this to someone.

As I said there seems to be a main “one” that kind of orchestrates the distant scream bubbles, the two talking on the TV, or a “set” which is like almost being submerged in an environment.

I thought if it is possible someone could do this to someone. Maybe I could find out how, and get my life back. 

I don’t know. I would like to think humans are better than doing something like this….. But then realized after reading the comments about the dark web…. That they are not.

I just don’t know. I just want it gone.

Just thinking. Which seems to work against me at times, because this Entity uses it for a story at a later time for its own entertainment. 

Clearing Energy

While the “energy” in my throat seems to have cleared. That means when I recorded it there were no radio static or blips. Also when I apply pressure I don’t feel the release as much. Also the strange rash that developed at the base of my neck cleared up. 

My vagina has not had the same affect. I felt the buzz and decided to record both areas but only had radio static sound in my vag. It only comes out when i record it, I don’t actually hear it myself. I didn’t try the top of my head, even tho its still kinda tense right now. 

Vagina is super curse. So lame. 😩😩😩

Why do I have radio sounds coming from my vagina?

Its like its crazy, but then I have all these confirmations that its outside or beyond me.

Frequencies and Vibes

Ringing in ears….. Vibes…. Everyone has there own level and experience with it… Their own belief…. And their own way of coping.

We say just let it pass through…. Its the moon vibes. Some say …. Its cosmic energy…. Solar flares…. Some say its other peoples energy….. Some say we are raising our vibration…. Some say …. Its entities.

Since this Entity has been here so long (since 15 y/o I am assuming and can recall) I’m having a hard time believing that it is just about ones vibrations…. Or the frequency …. But only the fact we may hear them.

Prior to this I don’t remember hearing that high pitch soft static electricity sound that changes through out the day. I do remember being in silence once and wondering what silence truly sounds like. I’ve heard the Entity occasionally…. And still no high pitch sounds.

So um unsure how this all plays into this experience with this Entity.

Vibes? I’ve been happy and upset…. For a majority of my life unquestioned. But as for the most part I tried to have decent “vibes”… Mood or disposition towards people and myself.

But it really wasn’t until my life went south that the Entity went in for the kill…. It was the break-up, the moving, the loosing a friend, my family having health issues…. 

But I’m not sure exactly what KEEPS it here.

The one consistent thing is that this Entity lies…. All day erryday. Sooooooo….. Even my own emotions or habits have become lies. They are false.

So…… What exactly keeps it here?

I know its not apart of my body…. Because it can see in other rooms or is conscious of things I am not. I don’t know if it needs my body to perceive …. But if it does why would it treat me so poorly. 

I mean I guess I can understand keeping me in conditions to maintain control….. But alive, that’s what sick psychopathic pieces of shit do. But if …. The Entity IS energy. … Then why tf would it need mine?

This whole concept of energy, vibes, frequencies and what we think thtese entities truly want are changing for me.

Why is it still here?