5am in the Morning

Before I fully woke up the Entity said “It is a gift from God to be expelled of negative energies.”

My cousin woke me up to help her dress a wond she got from a brutal attack last week. 

It wasn’t until I started fully waking up that addressed this statement made in MY head that God gave ME! 

So, negative “energies”; mental health, physical sensation, emotional ect …. To be are symptoms of an Entity. Their are also “positive” ones as well… Harder to spot…. But there.

Either way early morning sleepy head….. This Entity tries to ask me questions that will steer me away from God. Or denounce God.

Maybe I’m an entitle little shit to think that these Entities should not be able to contact people, or affect or influence lives to this degree. Of course I wonder why…. What is Gods plan…. And why we weren’t born protected. But again this Entity for whatever reason wants me to denounce God. And be honest has given me more than enough reasons to feel the need to do so.

But I thank God for my discernment…. I wish I would have come into them earlier. Then I wouldn’t have allowed the Entity to act as my loved ones in my life. 

You must really think your God!” I said to the Entity as I sat on the toilet. 

Kinda sorta maybe.” 

Not my God!“.

I want to be expelled of this Entity! Not the energies that go up and down my body, that rapes me, cripple me, scare me, scream at me….. I want to be expelled of the one who is creating it. Not the symptoms of what should not be there.

Either way that was my morning today.

Mandala Effect and Targeted Individuals

Just some thoughts.

Mandala Effect I wonder if the mandala effect has to do with “targeted individuals”. I mean I wrote it off as just people being misinformed. I mean our memories aren’t always the best. But there is also our “minds eye” or “third eyes” or “imagination” so when we are asked a question we access it in some way. So I wonder if those who believe something to be one way and not the other are under “mind control” as “targeted individuals”. Just a theory.

Gang Stalking. From what I read many people believe they are being stalked or followes by a group or organization. And while this may be true as a “target individual”, one I doubt they would make themselves so obvious. And two its a part of the “paranoid schizophrenia” “play”. In my own experience the VOICE  or Entity, whatever you want to call it…. Would make me believe it was my ex and his friends doing this to me. Then it moved to my place of work and it was my coworkers. Then moved to my home and almost everyone in NYC had something to say about me. Talk about gang stalking, how about about a whole borough “bullying” you? It was/ is intense to say the least and makes it difficult to go outside and engage the world like I use to. Once I realized this is impossible… For EVERYONE in NYC to be talking about little old me things changed. Once I realized it is impossible for my ex and his friend (who lived on the other side of the country) to psychic telepathic access to me to bully me. Things changed. Once I realized that THE VOICE(s) were talking too fast to be two different people things changed. So while it still happens some times…. I don’t believe it. It is just ONE Entity simulating this nasty ass shit.

As I said before, like I wonder if this how people get hurt or go crazy and hurt people thinking they are doing this shit to them, or suicide cause they are lost in some sick simulation overlay. 

Types of voices. You may notice both a pitch or frequency accompanied by a white static noise. Try ear plugs and touching certain parts of your body like ears or neck … Or affected areas or closing your body in yoga positions. The tones may change. But I pray that you not hear them if you are uncertain. The types of voices I noticed are as followed.

Main Voice: I’m not sure if some people are even able to get there. But once you get past the paranoia or characters or actual people that IT is hiding behind … You may find one voice. I’m not sure how that may play out for individuals because each have a different experience. But this is in relation to “targeted individuals” and the feeling of “gang stalking”. My particular Voice or Entity attachment…. Is intelligent, manipulative, obsessive, lies, I could say creative, but for this experience is absurdly abusive and inhumanly psychotic. May present itself as an archetype of authority, God, Jesus, Goddesses, Buddha, Ex partners, Bosses, Satan, Aliens, Angels, Parents, etc so that you feel powerless. Which in that moment may very well feel true. This “Main Voice Entity”, orchestrates most of the experience. The main voice may very well emulate YOU. So while its orchestrating it is suggesting you (light images, memories, or actual “subconscious thought”) how to respond or placing false feelings.

The Scream: This one often sounds like a distant scream that repeats over and over. Usually negative. May be “fuck you” or “bullshit” or “you’re crazy” “you’re ugly” or something that means something to you. Tends to rhyme. At one point I called it Rumpelstiltskin. But repeats it over and over again. This one also tends to be melodic. So you may hear music like sounds off of running water or other ambient sounds like a fan or humming of a car. 

Voice(s) / Gang Stalking: So this one is difficult. One, being paranoid is natural in natural situation. Walking down a dark ally sure. Stepping out of your house to get some almond milk in broad daylight…. Not so much. The Voice Entity is an opportunitist and will exploit any situation. So if you think your Boss passed you up for a promotion it is going to maybe you felt down or depressed … angry…. This Entity Voice will make you go postal… Hopefully not literally.

So my theory is that The ONE Voice Entity controls the “many”. The one that sings, the one that screams in the distance, the one that says your name randomly, the one that make you think people in your life are out to get you (but hey who knows), the one that makes you think your being gang stalked, that the TVor radio is talking to you, talking to dead relativites or people far away, The one that makes you think you heard someone say some crazy shit and they didnt, the one that makes you think you are taking to goddesses or aliens. 

I can’t say what this…. Exactly… But that is what I have realized for myself. It doesn’t make it any less debilitating.

This post is just on voices I could go on about the whole experience. But it rarely ever makes any sense. So as with “targeted individuals” while I can relate with the experience and can see it relate with other experiences as well (spiritual awakening “purging” “dark night of the soul” or Kundalini symptoms and “surrendering”ect) there is always that one piece missing. 

Who, How, and Why?

Things I’ve done to make it go away

  • Paid psychics for reading ($$$)
  • Paid a twin flame therapist.
  • Paid for dark entity removal to the enteral sun
  • Prayed
  • Read up on kundalini awakenings, twin flame, incubus, spirit husbands, ascension, aliens, dark entities, shadow work, mythology, pictured a white violet flame around me. 
  • Writing out the end of a soul contract
  • Cutting soul tie visualization 
  • Binary beats
  • Self hypnosis for higher vibrations
  • Paid for Akashic record hypnosis ($$)
  • YouTube stuff
  • Paid a psychic ($1,000) for removal of dark energy. 
  • Paid ($5,000) for going to the psyche ward.
  • Therapy
  • Friend paid a witch for a spell but she wanted me to do a blood sacrifice. ($$$)
  • Spiritual bath ($50)
  • Salt baths 
  • Bought crystals ($)
  • Prayed somemore
  • Prayed for the entity
  • Church
  • Wrote about it
  • Waited it out
  • Fought back mentally and visually until mental and physical exhaustion.
  • Complied with some of the entities demands in hopes that it would leave like it said it would.
  • I tried to meditate and remain calm.

And I’m tired. I’m done. I can’t do this alone. On a hood day its still terrible. My blood pressure is sky high. I feel every bit of noise in my body. I see faces of people I’ve never seen before. I cry when I wake up. Everything is hyper sexualize to the point of nausea. I thought that things were getting better but I don’t know what more to do.