10 Commandments: Adultery 😞

So……………… my friend said she had a vision God is coming back and I guess I wonder because of this experience what commandment I was breaking. I know I don’t hold sabbath, I say OMG a lot, and I had sex out of wedlock. So I was ready for that part.

But I guess I was really thrown back that prostitution, homosexuals, porno, masturbation where thrown in with child molesters, pedos and bestiality, and people who fuck corpses.

Like………. that shit made me so sad.

Like it made me wonder if that’s why these Demons Mantis’ called me a child molester because it’s all lumped in with the same things.

I know God doesn’t see a rank in sin just sees SIN but if that’s the case call me a murderah?

My ex who was a trans man (soul mate- not false twin flame) was the love of my life thus far. I never felt love like that. Respect. Old school love, open the door for you, dance in the middle of the kitchen to 90s r&b music love ……… the love you thank God for and his momma for having him kinda love. The love where no one else is the room in a crowd full of people kind of love.

But it’s a sin?

So currently I’m not sexually active 1.5 years (it’s a lot for m give me some credit) technically 2.5 year but whatever, I guess we can count that 2 time in 2 week in 2016 as a do over. Whatever.

Either way I’m not now cause everyone sucks. Mostly all the dudes I dated were jerks and THAT is NOT my fault.

Anyways I’m super sad that being Gay is considered a commandment sin and lumped in with pedos. 😥

And now I don’t know what to do with my life……………..

how do you ungay? De-queerify?

It’s still a part of who I am or was even if I don’t practice and I still strongly believe in rights and respect for the LGBT community so ……. I’m at a loss.

I told myself that I my gender and sexual orientation was Angel cause I’m tired of these disappointing relationships. I can be content with plutonic relationships. But then I heard some where that these demons try to trick you into chastity so they can keep you out of love and continue to control and torture you. 😞

As I said before I don’t feel right dragging anyone into this. I mean I have to live the fact that I unknowingly may have dragged my family into it but now knowing I don’t want to make any moves until I feel clear.

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3:20 am again

And I had a dream about riding my aunts or cuzins jet ski. It was strange.

God Speaks?

I was half asleep this morning and my sister had the tv turned on to the The Real talk show and a guest said “when god speaks to you you listen cause god will bless you” and later went on about how she listened to what God told her to do and he blessed her life.

In my case if I would have believed it the loud voice telling me what to do I would have killed myself. Which I attempted twice purely because of the torture.

So how do you know its God?

Do you know what type of twilight zone I’m living in where there are 8 foot Mantis pretending to be God?

And POSSIBLY people listening to this thing and have wonderful blessed lives because of it?

Would the world better off with out me?

This is all just so confusing and weird.

Mantis outline

You can kinda see the outline of the mantis and how tall the can get.

You can also see a small one at the bottom near my family members leg. They are light beings that can go from light to dark.

Then bring your eyes to the right of the fan you see some stuff as well.

You have to relax your eyes to see them. I can’t even make this shit up. It was a surprise shot I did in my parents bedroom.

This is the crazy dimension I’m stuck between. I just wish they would shut the fuck up sometime……. at least!!!!!

Awake again at 3am

3am pattern is really annoying.

Actually they woke me up at 1:30 right as my sister was going to sleep.

So noticed I always wake up right when someone else goes to sleep.

I also realized along side this I would go to sleep during the day to cope with the voices coming from the TV or outside the window. Often it was just too fast talking or too much so sleep was the the only way to cope and this was the only time to get SOME PEACE but now that I’m trying to regulate my sleep pattern I can’t………. I can only get broken sleep in 2 hour intervals. And usually awake during the hours of 3am

Am I turning into a vampire 👹

Whatever …….. I’m not. It’s a joke….. just in case you were wondering.

I AM tired and grumpy AF.

I just wanna be on my health game again fuck this entity matrix !

Nope not a “demon” it’s a Mantis

So I slept A LOT on this seroquel stuff a bit broken sleep but I slept.

Because what Woke person wants to be awake for for this YUCK 💩🤢😥.

Anyways, the “demon” dark shadowy figure I had shown in the previous post I found out is a MANTIS. It’s like ALL these characters are Mantis’ and they are just playing games. They tried to confused me as I woke up when I saw him changing.

I should have known they can glow or be the blackest black you’ve ever seen (at least the outlines are) ….. so when I saw him in the same place the shadow demon was as a Mantis I knew I was duped …… again.

In the Kabbalah demons are described as having chicken like or tripod like legs if you look at a Mantis it is very similar.

@ 20:00 he will describe demons

That doesn’t make them any less Demonic or harmful or annoying. But I’m making sure I’m keeping up to date with what I see. Yes they are demons and yea they are shape shifting Mantis’ from God knows where.

I don’t know why they are so sexually perverse.

You can google the “72 demons of Solomon” and you will find conglomerated demons on a clawed foot of sorts. Keep an open mind. The foot is the base and then smaller demons hop on creating a larger demon. And your sitting there like like HUH? But I think over time they have come up with a few new ways to disguise themselves.

Im not sure if the Mantis are copying as a format or they are really apart of the 72 Demon and we just never made the connection between aliens, demons (and nature??????) idk. All I know is Mantis seems to be the default.

THIS SUCKS I WANT THEM TO GO AWAY!!!! I don’t want to have to poison myself for no reason cause they are fucking gross!!!

Sleeping beauty 😴

I had told my doctor that the meds aren’t working BUT I had taken a bunch of sleeping meds and the voices got quieter. He was concerned I was trying to commit suicide I told him NO but I just didn’t want to be conscious for the YUCK thoughts and it’s exhausting to have so many convos going on.

Two tv and three convos.

So he changed my meds to 100mgs of Seroquel 😳 . I was against seroquel cause I saw what it did to my ex BUT I took it and WOA it was more powerful than the sleeping meds but still difficult to STAY asleep.

But the voices are not happy about this seroquel stuff. I personally don’t like feeling high……. like yea it’s cute for like a second when your like ooooo I feel wavy then I feel sick usually after so any of this is me trying to get rid of the voices purely……. not get high or sleepy… I would rather be riding my bike around the city hanging out with friends.

So we will see, this is a powerful medication….. it knocked me off my ass…….. so I will see we can knock these voices out as well.

Gotta try all avenues.

I can’t wait! 🙏🏼

I can’t wait for the day where I can tell you guys I beat this demon by the grace of God!!!

And really lay out all the ways in which I got played. How we can all be aware and guard our selves with truth to prevent further damage.

When I do I will prolly start a stand alone clean blog with a link here to all the messiness. But just a clear clean cut story and information as my give back to those still fighting.

It’s process. Not an easy one. Call them by their name….. Demon! I treated them too kind for too long my life and soul is on the line.

They have all eternity to think about what they have done here.

I don’t want delude myself into thinking I will beat this but a part of me feels I will. I know this is not JUST schiz I have photos and voice recordings and all kinds of confirmations.

So I just got to make this waiting game a better fit.

What do we do in the moments we wait?