Stuck = Bitter

I’m stuck AF.

Because I’m stuck I’m bitter.

Like “follow your dreams” and “it gets better” and “you create your reality” is not really applying.

I followed them!

I tried!!!!

And all I did was get raped and screwed over and then raped and screwed by demonic Entities and labeled as a schizo in the end.

Is this what happens to people ho wanna see a better world!?!

So tired and I’ve been in this been for a year. Protesting spiritual injustices. I hate this!

I just do t know what to do anymore.


Bored again! ☹️

So I have been doing my best to not respond to the voices/ Entity and it’s been going ok. I can stand back when they are “implanting negative thoughts” and allow the harassment and banter roll by. But the voices are still hear.

At times it’s still physically painful.

I still see dark light energy blobs (entity) around the house. One even moved.

I’m not where I want to be but not where I was. It seems close but I sometimes wonder if it’s just another trick. That all this “inner work” is in vain. And day when I’m well settled into the comfort of not hearing voices that it will just out again say BOO. Maybe it will be when I loose weight again or maybe when if I ever start dating again and it wants to prevent me from being with anyone.

But I’m sooooooooooooooooo fucking bored.

I mean I have comforted myself with Netflix and Facebook. But like zero human contact and like all of my goals are on halt.

I’m kinda stuck. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t have any money either so I’m limited as well.

I just ……. idk.

I know I need to get physically active. And go back on my raw diet.

Man this sucks.

Andrea Gibson Poem

“I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through. Tell me what the word “home” means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mother’s name just by the way you describe your bed room when you were 8. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or bounce in the bellies of snow? And if you were to build a snowman, would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms? Or would you leave the snowman armless for the sake of being harmless to the tree? And if you would, would you notice how that tree weeps for you because your snowman has no arms to hug you every time you kiss him on the cheek? Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you sleep beside them when they’re sad, even if it makes your lover mad? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother’s joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you tell me all the ways you’ve been unkind. Tell me all the ways you’ve been cruel. See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people’s wounds.”

— Andrea Gibson

How would my ancestors handle this?

Whatever this…….. ancient or simulated…… how did or how would my ancestors deal with this?

This is so widespread across countries and cultures. It’s difficult to in point. The symptoms are the same the explanations are different and the cure is one I have yet to find.

Clearly many cultures had an understanding of the “spirit world” one that we don’t have today and if you wanted to would cost thousands of dollars.

I’ve always respected those that have passed. What happens after I don’t know. But this feels different.

This has nothing to do with my respect for the dead, as I have been disrespected at every level possible.

I don’t expect an answer I guess just after seeing those photos I wonder what do/did they know that I don’t? How would they handle this?


Female voice said Sunday

Male voice said your birthday

I said No because I thought that that my birthday was on a weekday because there is a protest happening.

But I looked it up and yep my birthday is on a Sunday.

This could have been because the Entities remembered my birthday from last year or saw a calendar. Either way I did not know.


Paranormal Trends

So like………………………..

what’s good?

I spoke about this before in my blog, but many of my guy friends who experience “hearing voices” or demonic experiences believe it is Targeted Individual Mk Ultra stuff covered up by the government.

Like before that it was aliens.

Before that was ghosts.

For that was spirits and demons and angels.

So like what’s really good?

It’s can’t be this many people. And like no one in the whole wide world knows what the heck is going on. When I thought us was some conspiracy the voices rolled with it. When I thought it was demons they rolled with it…… reluctant to roll with the reptilian thing but whatever they fit the profile. Whatever it is they have found a way to stop this shit?!

You know much this shit hurts!? Physically mentally and emotionally!?! Like damn. Like seriously I have felt like my brain was going through a grater. I have been electrocuted. Like damn.

Shit all I wanted to do was be boo’ed up eats some organic fruits and veggies and like live honestly. Shit.

And now I’m out here in the astral plane playing dungeons and fucking dragons and shit. Waste of my life.

They did not tell you this shit in the Bible. They said shit happens AFTER you die. Not while you are living.

So freaking lame.

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