Where is my Community?

So I occasionally listen to HigherSelf on YouTube to listen to what might be going on in the etherics and honestly……. Im a bit disappointed today with their current post “we are in a spiritual war and they are playing dirty” i hoenstly thougt this video was talking about the energies going on in the planet ect. But NOPE.

While i more recently have struggled with my personal preference mainly from being raped, and used by men, dumped by the love of my life who was a transman (which really changed me) and then since 2016 tortured and energetically raped by demons/voices and THEN called a child molester by them……. I guess i needed to just take a whole step back from it all. Counting on a partner to be my sanctuary was not panning out.

Now i clicked on this video to hear what was this persons opinion on whats going on but…. She ended up doing a 20 minute rant about how transgender is not a real thing and they are still a man or a woman and she has a medical license to back it up. She didnt really want to hear any other opinion and so i wasnt going to waste my time giving her one.

First she used sex and gender interchangeably. Sex is male or female (or sometimes intersex in the rare occasions), gender is presentation so anywhere on the spectrum of feminine or masculine which can include androgynous. She goes on to say that most of these transgenders where sexually molested (which is something i found to be true amoung many in the LGBT but when i did youth work/ and talking to people in the schizophrenic community i found it to be a truth for many young people in general which is fucking SAD). But she said that trans people flip flop and look like Blasphemeth. She goes on to say she “has gay friends” and such so she is not homophobic or transphobic. Yeah uhuh OKAY!

But she just put out a 30 min video misgendering trans people, comparing them to basphometh, and saying saying they are confused and have a mental illness.

She went on to say at the end of the video that we dont need anymore “soy boys” (which i never heard of), again sending hateful waves to men or boys who dont fit the sterotype of a “man” (gender).

This isnt the first time i have expierenced this in the “spiritual community”. This other woman who did “healing work” said gay and lesbians and trans people were a result of demonic Archon programming. Something to that extent and allowed a thread of people saying horrific things about trans people.

These sentiments are why there are approximately 2 trans women killed per day and lesbians getting punched in the face for not kissing in public because some dude asked them. For a gun man to be at the DC pride parade this year.

These sentiments get people killed essentially.

I had to unfriend so many people i respected at one point for posting homophobic or transphobic shit and allowing their page to be a breeding ground for violence. And i found that women are now the online perpetrators. I see them saying to trans women they will never be a real woman and allowing violent threats towards trans people on their page all the while gaining attention from men who probably hold their beliefs.

It was a woman who became jealous of my cousin who was walking down a street in Bushwick when her man looked at my cousin (who is a trans woman) and her friends in a liqour store. She was the one going off about how they were men and caused half the block to join in on beating up my cousin causing her jaw to be broken. It took a month or so of her mouth being wired shut and 2 surgeries and months of healing and she will never be the same.

Covert hatred is real. And it is being disguised as love and light and its not. Now i have my flaws i think rapists are pieces of shit im not in a place to forgive. Especially those that harm children. But some how people want to link the lgbt community to the harm of children when heteros have been marrying/impregnating children of “child barring age” since the begining of time. All of the LGBT I know are extremely adamant about the safety of children. And are actually the ones doing work around advocacy. TBH.

I was really disappointed in this video and whether she wants to admit it or not it is homophobic and transphobic. You could see the disgust in her face. I mean its pride month and all the Phobics are coming out the woodwork with their two cents.

While i might struggle with my orientation personally. I will always be an ally and advocate for the safety of the LGBT community any community really. Safety is number one and quality of life is important to me. Posting videos like this against the LGBT calling them blastphometh and mentally ill and will never be a woman is very dangerous. Honestly you could just be quiet. I did not click on that video to hear about trans people being degraded.

She also contradicts herself by saying being a woman isnt all about make up. But then is saying being a woman is only about having a reproductive system. So women that dont have a functioning reproductive system or a hysterectomy arent women? And that these “men will never be women”. I find that trans women get the brunt end of the stick more than tranmen and transmen often just stay on the sidelines. Also she is talking about how we all need to be in unity and we are being pinned against each other…… But she just did a rant about trans people calling them basphometh. So…. That is pretty divisive to me.

So in the “spiritual community” you have all these people who are against LGBT and who don’t want to have or listen to the hard conversations around race. And think that economics is JUST a mindset. And want you to shut up and give them you money for this message from Arch Angel Micheal for abundance healing.

There is sooooooo much healing in this world that needs to happen. So much. So much. I wouldn’t even know where to start TBH. In many ways we need to respect (with in reason) people path to healing. Holding space for our pain and truth to be spoken. To know others are suffering too.

Even in therapy my therapist didnt want to hear anything about my hallucinations further isolating me and making me feel like an etheric leper. It wasnt until i spoke to others in forum was i able to really start to heal (a little bit). Before i was just hearing all of this crazy stuff and being energetically raped and choked and abused. And seeing crazy things. And hearing someone say “me too” unlocked something in me. Not being silent helped me fight back. Having the courage to say these voices were calling me a child molestor and pedo just one day out of no where….. And hearing others say YES this is happening to me too…… Made me brave as scary as it was to admit it because i honestly was so scared i would be seen as one or something would happen to me for admitting that i heard this.

I found that the schizophrenic community tend to be softer than say the “spiritual community”. They are the ones truly suffering spiritually and they understand how triggering the world can be. The targeted individual community are a bright bunch…. But between the trolls and people being unbending to their beliefs (that it is government technology)….. Its difficult to express ones self. And the spiritual community tends to shun anyone “not of the light” pretty much mimicking religion and isolating people who really are looking for sanctuary.

I’m ok with being on my own with my beliefs on the fact that we really need to show respect to each other. But its not an easy road to feel so alone. Thats why i loved working in the food justice community. Everyone loves food. šŸ˜‰ But at the same time i had to keep the fact i was queer out of the equation and as i said many where promoting violence against LGBT on their personal pages.

Either idk i have to wade through some triggering shit just to see if there are some answers to my suffering. But im ok with having an unpopular belief.


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