Out of Love 💔

It took me some time to figure out why these Entities keep doing this incest bullshit.

First and foremost incest is a 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢. And I have no attraction to my father in the slightest. If anything we were estranged for most of my life. Him being gone a decade of it and then, kicking me out cause I was gay and then trying to rebuild an adult relationship of forgiveness with him prior to being attacked.

Moving back to my parents house was definitely a shot to the ego but it is what it is and I tried to make a plan to move out but then became schizophrenic while I was here.

When I no longer accepted the twin flame story line these Entities were constantly looking for the next thing to trap me into. And since they could trap me into a story line they went for torture.

And yes incestious thoughts, or pedo thoughts or thoughts about my ex and his life on loop is def torture.

But I also allowed these thoughts distance me from my father. Just like I quit my job and stayed away from kids and I never contacted my ex ever again. I keep a safe distance in hope to save my body the experience of anxiety and torture.

In many ways I didn’t want to taint what was already tainted. I tried my hardest at least to preserve these images i my mind the best I could but these Entities won. Every day.

I realized they were trying to keep me out of love with my father. There was a wound there they were able to exploit and they were trying to keep me from showing that love and flourishing and thriving.

I remember the first time I felt I made my dad proud. Lol.

Me with out much school under my belt and just trying to make a difference in the would he was proud that I was helping families in foreclosure. It was strange.

But this incest shit came out of no where. Much like the pedophile and child molestation topic with these entities you don’t turn incestious over night.

And while I have to teach myself to elevate ABOVE these Entities and their sick demented tricks ……. I still have my days where I am weak and sick of being strong and acting like this shit doesn’t bother me.

It bothers me.

There is no way around it.

I don’t like it.

It is not a test of strength.

I hate it it sucks it’s happening and I don’t have much choice.

But my eyes are on love. Self love. Family love (no incest 🤢🤢🤢), community love, Gods love…. if it even exists as a thing….

Just really tired of this gross energy.

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