Life 😭

I just wanted to enjoy Gods creations. ❤️

Give thanks and praise. 🙏🏼

And be out. Ya know?

But instead I have demons calling me a child molester and saying and doing all other kind of vile things to me to the point I can barely move and if it ain’t them it’s the medication now.

You know my friend had the nerve to say she actually thinks this is MY “past life” shit. She hears the same thing and she’s the queen of Egypt but I hear it and I’m actually a child molester in a past life eh um ok well everyone can kick rocks with there new age bull shit now.

My vibes are fine there it’s these demons that are a problem. There is nothing that “allowed” them in my life other than space time and ignorance. And I have been try to de-stupify myself from this experience but that’s the trick about the “tree of knowledge” when you seek you become DUMB ……… but I got my answer . It’s SATAN ……… LUCIFER himself or his minions… or whatever. Playing my work, family and love life so lovely and when they got found out they wanted me to kill myself.

When they could no longer play the spirit game….. or telepathy game or God….. or when I questioned why certain things were happening….. they were not feeling me anymore.

I wasn’t falling for the shit.

Hmmm but I still don’t get it. I don’t fit into any neat box of spirituality. And so there is no way of gauging this. I don’t know if I am ever making progress. I know how I feel but that can quickly change and can also be an illusion.

I just want be healthy soon.

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Snap shot: why I want to die most day.

So I’m chillin listen to some beats just discovered a new track by Lone called “Past Lives” and it is such a soothing and beautiful track. It’s like being in the futuristic jungle.

So I was grooving and kinda happy for once and BOOM!

————————————-

So I said to MYSELF!!

Me: I would love to just live in this track. (Then I look out the window and see a woman with a white tshirt and high wasted jeans. The demon insinuated what would they wear in this world)

Me: They can wear whatever they want. 😒

Demon: EVEN CHILD PORNO SHIRTS?!?!?!

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 why?

Me: no I would hope they have better sense. 🤢🤢🤢

Me to myself: they really want me to commit suicide.

——————-

This is just a blip of the torture I have to deal with in terms of the most mundane thing being turned into incest, pedo shit, beast, rape, death, or some perversion. Shit is not funny. It upsets me. And I’m really tired of talking about it.

I only snapshot this one because this was one that I felt was easy to do so and wasn’t so vile my blog would get taken down.

As I said I feel bad that my inner child has to endure this bullshit. That I have to as well and that no one seems to know why or what happened.

Shit is so sick.

Class is Dismissed 🎒

So for the last two and a half years I have been dragged kicking and screaming through some etheric simulated version of hell on earth.

I didn’t know what to do. I attempted suicide with pills and only loss my hearing. So that sucked. I quit my job cause I wasn’t mentally fit to be around children. 😥 (I loved my job) and I have up all my possessions and freedoms locking myself in my house trying to figure WHAT LE FUCK IS GOING ON!

I studied every possible scenario from awakening to kundalini to incubus and spirit husbands to reptilians and targeted individuals to spiritual warfare. I can go on.

Whatever IT is, is Demonic in nature.

Most recently I feel like I’m tapped out and hit a wall. I’ve studied the nature of these demons how they act, trigger, look like, threaten and affect our lives. But I think class is dismissed.

I’m not really interested in that anymore.

Not sure what to for my healing.

After everything that happened,

Darkness did not win!

This popped up on my timeline.

I no matter the color of my aura, past life they to convince me of, no matter what thought they insert, how ugly I am, if they think I am a sinner for past mistakes……..

I will never be them.

I will never loose all inhibitions to the dark and harm people knowingly with pleasure. Like they do. For gain. THAT is evil. THAT is the darkNESS. That’s the vibes being lowered that no amount of salt baths will save ya ass.

They seek to harm and damage and there is no real way around that. They use fear to control. And befriend to manipulate.

I will never be like them. They know no other way to be and it is sad.

I also have boundaries to who I am. And they are fucking it. You wAnt to paint and draw and do some seasonal color pallets cool, but I’m they would prefer to rape people and ruin their lives while condemning them.

You’re So Gay! 🙄

I X out my name, my “friend” here randomly called me gay as an insult like I had been lying to him about it.

I honestly have been having some issues with my sexual orientation as I try to reconcile my faith and having a FLEET of demons attack my ass.

So I think it’s natural to wonder was it because I’m queer (which is NOT GAY), was it because I had premarital sex? Didn’t keep the sabbath? Sex worked to pay rent that one time 15 years ago? Smoked weed? Shrooms?

I honestly thought God loved me regardless of my orientation. 😞 I honestly thought the whole condemning gays was more about stepping out on a marriage /adultery/lying. And I didn’t trust humans cause I felt like they focused of it a bit to much when there were are whole BUNCH of other things to focus on. I thought the sin was NOT being who you are (with in reason) the “higher self”. But you have to know yourself in order to be that. I never saw being queer about SEX but love and loving who I love and sex was just how we expressed that. But that’s just my small human mind. I just didn’t think it would cost me housing and jobs and friends and sanity.

But queer seems to stick out always.

Enough to get kicked out from my parents and be homeless, enough to be discriminated against at work and loose my job. Enough for the Demonic Entity voices to call me a pedophile lesbian bitch.

This suppose to be my friend who’s a guy . And then he goes on to say he likes lesbians. But I honestly identify as nothing now. I have no orientation because I’m sick to my stomach. I tried so many relationships they all failed miserably. Then to find out there are like Demonic aliens playing The SIMs human edition with my love life and fucking up my relationships doesn’t give me faith in the next. And then on top of it seeing pedo child molestation shit in visions is a HUGE 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 turn off to LIFE so I’m fucking good on being stressed out by dick.

I tried my best to give love and I was fortune enough to at least feel that even if was short lived in queer relationship with my ex soul mate.

But I will not have my guy friend throw my orientation in my face like an insult. I’m tired of being condemned.

I’m not sure if I should continue to talk to him. I unfriended him and told him goodbye and why I was saying goodbye and that I forgave him. BUT I’m not sure if I should talk to him ever again.

My only concern right now is 1. Getting rid of these demons in a responsible way 2. Healing these wounds. NOT CREATING NEW ONES. 3 getting healthy again.

Relationships and all that other stuff is kind of not really a big deal a much as I would love to curl into a ball in the arms of a lover.

Seroquel: update 3

I am can sleep all day on the med which better than not BUT

STILL voices have intensified louder and more of them/ different characters.

Visual hallucinations are not as strong but I see them fade in between sleep. Wake/ half asleep.

Genitals started vibrating again on Seroquel.

Social anxiety is still high because voices are here and laziness because I’m sleeping so much.

Not my favorite anti psychotics. Best for people who had extreme behavior due to anxiety from hallucinations.

My only goal is to rid the hallucinations. I have worked on my behavior other that my social anxiety but even then I keep my cool. I just want to get rid of the them completely.

Exposing the Enemy (Occultism): Breaking Curses from Masonic in Your Life!

Exposing the Enemy (Occultism): Breaking Curses from Masonic in Your Life!
— Read on walkingintruth.blogspot.com/2005/07/breaking-curses-from-masonic-in-your.html

This talks about how they are pedos and they rape and choke people and the demons and IAM and invoking a lot of stuff I talked about in this blog as well as becoming religiously numb because of the torture.

Please read this article if you are suffering from spiritual warfare!!!

Is healing possible?

Last week I saw the three large cavernous holes in my aura with etheric parasites around my upper chest and demons down my right leg. I saw shackles on my wrists and a triangle (probably an Entity) above my head).

And I wonder if healing is possible. I originally wanted to see if I could see the color of my aura and I just ended up seeing this nightmare of my etheric body.

Is healing even possible?

I just saw black?

Am I just black now?

I wish I knew what was going on.

All I’m trying to do is heal and shake these demons off.

Can you even heal the etheric body from blasts like that. These blasts were so bad they were hiding them by wrapping my torso with parasites as compression. Like bandages. It was strange.

Or maybe because I was blasted parasites were able to latch on.

Idk. Something is up. I feel better than last year but still like shit….. heavy tired over being angry all the time.