TRIGGER TRIGGER: Gross 💩
Ok so I wanted to document in my blog how these DEMONS are trying to play me. And I really don’t know what to do. I made the best decision I could granted my Demonic situation and I really don’t know what else to do to DEESCALATE the situation and TURN UP because I know that’s what’s these DEMONS want.
So. (Big deep breath) my father watches porn. I don’t care that my father watches porn. I mean up until 6 years ago I did too but I stopped. I’m not going to porn shame although I hold mixed feelings all together. Shaming others is not the way. Be it the industry or consumers. But yea….. all beside the point.
Point is. My “room” is an enclave with a sonji screen so privacy is so a minimum all it fits is a bed. I try to remain thankful although the loud noises and TVs can really make me want to run.
So my father normally does his work at the kitchen table about 6 to 8 feet from my enclave and because I am awakened at 3 or 4am every fucking night no matter the Benadryls I am normally awake when he leaves.
At first I would make him coffee and a kind gesture if I had the time. And almost felt it was my duty to send him off into the city jungle with a happy toned “have a good day!”. But soon …………. sometime into this ritual I started hearing porn sounds coming from his computer.
First time it was whatever, I laid in my bed motionless as the demons made a huge deal out of this moment and started flashing images of my father penis, or a penis and my father jerking off. And the demons would molest or rape me as the did this all from a moment of moans from porn.
I’ve personally avoided sex scenes in tv shows enjoy (ex: Magicians).
So while I don’t porn shame I do wish I wasn’t around ……. maybe me? I don’t know if I’m being too extra with that. I would rather be asleep and I have tried to knock myself out with 8 Benadryl so I would have to be up at his hour so that the demons can rape me on this incest play.
I wrote my father an email directly to him. Asking him if he could use his tablet and watch porn in his bed room. ” cause no one wants that image of their father” and I tried to keep it none judgmental and more about the fact that the demons harm me. I check his email and I didn’t see it in his email but I know I heard the email notification go off when I sent it.
BUT I think he did it again….. today………. and even if he didn’t the demons are trying to make me think he did so that I turn the fuck up and cause some drama and get my ass kicked out my parents house AGAIN. Like I have to sit there in fear and be molested by god knows how many spirit demons. And I’m tired. I tried to be open and clear and father ignored it and me. And now there’s going to be tension.
This is because the demons for whatever reason want to make me “aunt Joycey“, and I don’t even know what that me at THERE level cause they keep using it as an insult but but my aunts awesome.
There whole thing is that they want me to move to my aunts now and leave my mom who they gave a stroke and a heart attack and my sister a stroke to. And I don’t know why. But I do know they are taking advantage of an awkward situation that I would normally would be able to let go and blowing it up and making me look at my dad differently and really fucked up cause I know it’s not that deep to a man who is unaware and unawake.
I didn’t want to drag my mom into this, cause that’s drama. I didn’t want to mention this again cause drama and I just was hoping he would understand but again it’s already in motion….. it’s already in my head ……. even if he never does again it will loom around will this demon rape me at 5am because my father watched porn. Trying make me run away to my aunt J house?
Yea that’s my life right now.