Writing is kinda like my only friend. That and cookies. I don’t discriminate when it comes to writing and cookies. Any form is fine.
I write because I have no idea what’s happening to me body. Or why.
So I write it the best way I know how.
All I have is trying to handle this the best way I know how.
I’ve made peace with the fact that whatever way I deal with this, I tried my best. I sought answers in every way I possible way.
I asked for help ……. I rarely ask for help. But none so far. Usually that’s a point of growth. But I’m at a loss here…. And I feel like I’ve stepped so far back I don’t know where to start.
Then I have this obstical…. The Entity…. Keeping me up at all hours of the night. Waking nightmares. Trying to control my life and tell me what to do down to when I should pee.
And so my mind is set on that because every moment of my life is met with this reality, a personal hell…. No one else can see.
I meet it with courage, but courage 24/7 is exhausting. So I fought over decades for others and I can barely fight for myself right now.
And I wonder, if there is anyone out there in the whole universe that can fight for me.