Volume 10

Even though the Entity has dialed down in volume and intensity its still here doing the same thing.

Trying to make me feel like a child molestor, or incestuous, or still obsessed with my ex, that it is better than me or whatever insanity it can conjure up.

I feel like I am back at square one only worse. That moment I questioned and disassociated my obsession for my ex. Now I have all this other “baggage” that the Entity has tacked along.

I can’t even scroll through Facebook. There are enough triggers of stories of people hurting children the Entity tries to make it seem like I like it by buzzing on my “root chakra”. Or trying to seem like my “subconscious”, or replaying the image or idea obsessively.  But I don’t.

To keep playing it acts as though this is a “test”. How sensitive am I? How much does she know her self? But these questions are an delusion to excuse its actions and presence.

Its more subtle now…. I try to ignore it. Even if I ignore it, because I know who I am…. The Entity brings up shame or guilt for ignoring it. That’s how it maintains my attention and “control”. Sometimes I fall for it. I’m not strong all the time. Tired of questioning. 

Just tired. 

It likes the battle…. The fight…  The conflict. And there are days I am tired and question if fighting is really the only way?

So what do I do? Stop looking at Facebook? My only line to the outside world? Looking with in I only found this Entity that is insane and wants to control me.

It keeps saying “last year”, and as much as I want to believe this is …. It did the same thing last year and around New Years said “one more year!”.

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