Mini Breakdown (Religion pt. 2)

“Truth needs no preparations…. It is as genuine and authentic as a step forward.” -Me

There is no preparation needed for what is….. There is this sense of…. Something else, another side, who said that’s the other side?….. Instead of what is….. A sense of reasoning and excusing the present moment for either the past or future….. And then we are cheated out of the simplicity in the present moment of something such as a breath of air….. The sun hitting the concrete.

Feeling like this experience is an “upgrade” or re-wiring, or preparation for the end of times or whatever …. For something else other than what I am at any given moment is divisive. It literally divides….. It doesn’t truly explains anything…. We just get stuck in the feeling that which we can’t control…. And attribute words to it….. Describe IT. Instead on being in the moment of Gods great earth. 

I’m there…. I won’t deny that.

I guess the divide that came up for me is religion and feeling like I have to shove myself into a box. I mean early on, the Entity tried to force me into Christianity  (after the Isis/Osiris play) and then was then pining Christianity and Muslim faith against each other. For the DRAMA!!! The CONTRAST!!!! 😰😰 (Side note: apparently theres and article on where Christ was mentioned in the Quran). But I wasn’t with drama, in fact I’ve never been with into the drama which may be my root issue with “religion”. Not faith…. Nor belief. I don’t think I am alone in this position…. As many people step back from religion (and maybe not faith) for one reason or another. Personal or political. I mean Jesus taught love and kindness. Like it is written down in a book distributed all over the world and some how that has been translated in to a bazillion years of war. 

I just happened to still have faith. Outside of my faith… Much of my “journey” has been trying to figure out what was happening to me…. Why I was experiencing flashing lights, repeating numbers, shadow spirits, “telepathy” ect. And it led me to the One this Entity that has been playing me all along. And now it is my faith in its simplicity ….. uncomplicated by religious facts or the distortion of my experience…. Is all I have.

I guess my mini break down cry fest was a result of not being able to find a solution, feeling that I must confine myself to a set belief, fear of loss of control (or more distortion/ play/ sick imagery), and the inability or space to be myself…. With my own belief and imagery. 

I called this experience “between a rock and a hard place”, the hard place being this life/ earth……. living in perpetual contradictions, and having to cope…. But ultimately alive….. And the rock, pressing against my life…. Unable to move …. To breath…. This Entity. Questioning ever detail of my life, influencing, condrodicting the contradiction.

Because of this, simplifying has been important….. 

Just be…. Just believe….. 

#crybaby

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