So my sister is on the phone right now with her friend and said something to the extent, “I am just trying not to be depressed” because this struggle with the stroke has been almost a year and a half and she just wants to get back to what she love which is teaching, girly shit and going out with friends.
Quickly her friend said, “be glad you’re alive!” She proceeded to then tell my sister a story about a 25 year old that was shot in the head and struggle to recover from a coma. And she should be greatful that that’s not her. She then proceeded to say that maybe this stroke happened because she “needed to rest and take of herself instead of everyone else”. O……………. K…………….
It took me everything not to insert myself in into her conversation and tell her a thing or two. But my sister being the kind person that she is thanked her for the pep talk and moved on to the next subject.
This whole idea of thanking our blessings ON TOP of other peoples “demise” is (I believe) a really unhealthy way to actually be greatful. “Well at least I’m not that guy”….. “Think about all the children in Africa (insert some “poor” country here).
What it does is silence ones own experience, and sensationalizes the other. If my sister wants to speak about what she actually feeling because of the stroke LET HER! Stop pinning two experiences against each other. If it is meant for inspiration sure ….. Ok. But saying your better off then THAT guy is fucked up.
Count your blessing to count your blessings…. Not because someone told you to…. Not because “You have it better than someone else” but because you actually feel it in your heart. Because you know. You’ve come to that realization.
Once my sister got off the phone I told her that her struggle with this stroke is real and to not let anyone dimish that and that if she ever wants to go to group (young stroke survivors) therapy or just need to talk I will shut the fuck up and listen.
Don’t let anyone tell you what your blessings are or that you have it better than someone else just so you stay silent.