My Life? (no carrots)

I want my life to be about me….

Not my ex (twin flame)…. Its been two years since we broke up. I am tired of this Entity saying his name at least 1000 times a day….. Or making some reference to him …. Or telling me he is with someone more beautiful than me. He is cooler than me. That he is perfect. That I fucked up cause I didn’t tell him I loved him (the entity was trying to trick/ force me into telling him by parroting him), i mean i will be going about my day and the entity will parrot his voice i will get spooked, or just watching TV EVERY episode of anything gets related back to him. I cant even enjoy music I’ve always enjoyed because again it gets related back to him. Like my ex said two of his ex’s went “crazy” and I’m just another one that went “crazy” after him and he is sitting there thinking its because he’s giving them the D and really its because some nasty as demon alien bug is fucking with me, and thought he would be the perfect guy to his behind because IDK he likes heavy fucking metal and his phone # has 666 in it? Spooke the shit out of me. Fuck that!

This is MY life!

Its like I want to make peace with it….. I made peace with it… My whole life has turned into a litany about this man who is long gone. And I’m not mad at him…. I mean I have my own truth…. But I’m not even mad at HIM…. And the way this entity interfered with the relationship only to then make him be at the forefront on my life….. While i am being spiritually and psychically torture……At a time when I need to be focused on my family. 

I just will never understand. (Just one of the many things I won’t understand from this experience). 

That’s why I can’t even bring someone else in yet like that. Like that person has to be solid as a rock….. No bullshit …… no games.

The entity tried to make it seem like I was experiencing all this to get my ex back…. But I was like fuck this!!! I mean he’s cool….. But not that cool.

I just want my life to be about me…. Not my ex, not about child molestation, not about this entity, …. My life my fucking body….

I long for the day where this entity is NOT doing something to my vagina! Even a moment would be relief!

I told the entity …. If he wants this body so bad then take it!…. Its not the body it wants… Its the control…. Its the torture…. Its sadistic…

And I’m NOT really a masochistic!

I just want it gone completely!

I’m soooooo grossed out ….. I’ve never wanted to jump out of my body so bad….. This is worse than trypophobia, which is the fear of irregular holes and it totally grosses me out next to mayo. 

Like a buzz on your vag 24/7 is UHG!!!!!! Gross, by some things that’s saying nasty/ mean shit all day is UHG!

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