Blacking Out

I’m trying to understand this blacking out. Sometimes I’m conscious but them I’m not. I literally feel a snap or like a TV going off…. And I have no idea what kind of repercussions this may have on my already depleting health.

I noticed that this ONLY started happening this year, once I pulled myself out of the “delusion”. Its like once I stopped believing the lies or allowing this Entity to have a certain amount of control over me it is NOW doing this Black Out thing (or white outs, overwhelming amount of light).

In the moment I can at times understand the concept, but there are no visuals or sense of self. Just the Entity, a buzz feeling, and whatever it is trying to make me think. Often times because it is quick, before sleep, and conceptually doesn’t make sense to me I forget it OR the Entity scrambles the concept before I fully come to.

Almost like dreams right. We apparently have multiple dreams per night but usually you remember the one you woke up on…. Or if you wake up and your attention is brought to something else its more difficult to recall the dream.

As I said, my head feeling hot, snapped, singed, electrocuted, I’m unsure what the implications are to my health ….. I am also unsure what the point of doing this is other than to scare me into believing it has control/power.

Yea I don’t see the point.

I’m wondering to what extent the spiritual beliefs we follow are being manipulated so that these things can play God, or whatever. Either way I’m grossed out. And i.m pretty sure I didn’t sign up to life so I can be used and abused by some invisible disgusting creature that’s wants to play with peoples head because it has nothing else better to do for all of eternity.

Uhg!

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