#crybaby #bigmouth

(I blanked out the name for privacy as much as I would like to give credit)

Don’t get me wrong, if someone asks me to keep something a secret. I will. at best never attach a name to it if I talked about in passing. I’m sure I just inspired this entity thing for more “karma play”. 😩

But for the most part I’m a big mouth, but I try to not take up too much space (was taught the step up, step back rule). I just say that cause I write about my experience a lot and try to keep it honest but also respectful.  

That was a side note.


So this Entity has been telling me to “GO HOME!” (Sometime interchanged with “Go to God”)  meaning commit suicide, (by means of molestion (forced childhood fear) for my ex (twin flame which doesn’t exist). Sooooo…. I only point that out as that what was told to me in all seriousness and its absurd and completely ridiculous….. And WRONG.

Main point is that this Entity has been telling me to “Go Home“, and it “doesn’t care how long this takes” for over a year now. And its annoying! 😩 It’s like shut up already I’m not drinking the koolaid…. Fuck out of here.

In my previous blog last year which the entity tricked me into deleting on tumblr and was more “twin flame” related, I had talked about this go home “message” I heard everyday more in depth. And right after this couple made this video. Which is cute and worth checking out. And it was comforting and reassure me of my place in the world.

As someone who was homeless (underhoused, crashing, sofa surfing) and trying to bring myself out (but moving every two year cause nyc housing sucks) of that to then find myself back at my parents who originally kicked me out. Is/was just….. Disappointing. I was planning for so much… To finally live on my own (so I didn’t have roommates screwing me over for money) or with a partner which I thought would be more stable. And working hard towards it. But …. I roll with the punches. 

Its just this opponent….. I’m not so fond of.

Currently living at my parents is something i am both grateful for and still uncomfortable with. I moved from their sofa to a corner of the living room with shoji dividing screens wrapped around my sisters previous bed. I gave away all my stuff once I was forced to quit my job by this Entity. (Yes the truama is still there, that’s why I mention it so much.) I didn’t plan being here this long, or for my sister to have a stroke…. Or me to go crazy. So it’s just. Idk.

The entity would tell me to both Go Home as well as tell me to leave my family to then leave NYC for my ex (twin flame). Once I tried to actually leave to long island cause I felt so closed in by this entity fro. Being in the city around so many people it was playing off of and I was in the middle of the production and I just needed to get out and I saw a vision of me just sleeping on the beach in the clothes I had on in hope of escaping the nightmare that was happening and find some peace. I couldn’t even get on the right train with the ticket in my hand. I kept going to the right track and the conductor kept saying it was going to Washington . So I gave up and went home defeated. Stuck.

I don’t even know if I should even really re write what happened at that time… At times there are so many paradox’s …. Contrary statements …. It was a confusing time so while I understanding the just of it explaining would be hard to follow and probably not make any sense.

The above image of the Facebook post my friend made just resonated for me. 1. Cause I’m tried of this thing telling me to go home 2. The Entity has made more of a home out of me than I have. 3. I hope to find my own place in the world (even though I don’t believe in the owner ship of land but whatever) 4. GO HOME/ GO TO GOD ….. I can’t say. I can’t. I don’t know. I think I’m a good person for the most part. I can’t fully judge …. I don’t know if there is a “judgment day”…. I don’t know what god looks like…. I dont KNOW what happens after death. I never asked …. I just believe in GOD.

But alas the eviction notice for this entity is still in acted. I just dont understand how it has gotten away with what it has done. I just don’t. I guess bad people get away with shit all the time. But I just don’t see how there is nothing plucking this nasty speck out of my sphere. 

I just know I’m done with it. 


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