Purpose? 

I am unsure of this entity’s purpose in my life.

Why does it need access to me? How and what gives it the right? 

I read an article on entity removal and the woman talked about negotiating and trying to understand why the entity is there. But unfortunately the entity diflects from answering any questions truthfully and when I was speaking to someone who does exorcisms the entity would not speak directly to the person. One woman who was a “light worker”, asked it to leave and the only answer the entity gave was, “I’m not done yet.”

But I’m done. 

No straightforward answers. Just lies, terrible suggestions (like leaving my family in their time of need) and horrible images and sensations.

I use to have a really good sense of direction when taking walks and such and now I find myself getting lost more often or going in circles. So even daily walks are difficult. It takes more effort not to go in the wrong direction because this entity is jibber jabbin and putting anxiety in my chest all day.

I say if I was an entity or something like that I would go to a far off land and chill on an island or something like that…… at best help someone through their struggle because life throws you enough curve balls. But this one….. This one popped up full blown right before everything went wrong in my life.

But it’s not everything going “wrong” in my life that is the problem. I’ve learned to roll with the punches but this is like being punched in the face every moment of everyday. And if I click off, the entity starts to pretend to be me inside my head and force me to respond/ interact with it.

The spiritual community wants to be all like, send it love… Send it light….. But I’ve ran out of love. And it keeps me from forming new bonds with anyone because I’m unsure of what might happen. But more so it will use the new relationship against me. 

So why is it here? It says “I need to learn my lesson”. (Which is bullshit) But won’t tell me what the lesson is. I need a syllabus for this shit. 

I don’t see the lesson in repeating my ex (twin flames) name over 500 times a day, I don’t see the purpose of showing me images of child abuse and then making fun of it or me if I get scared, I don’t see the purpose of telling/ strongly suggesting urges to commit suicide, then telling me to move away, I am unsure of the purpose of it trying to act like its my God, I don’t see the purpose of saying I’m fat and ugly all day, or threatening my family, I am unsure of why it stays where it is unwanted. 

There are plenty of people who play with energy and entity’s and what have you so why doesn’t it go there?

Why is it here during this time in my life? Watching my family struggle to rehabilitate from strokes and heart attacks, deaths in the family, seeing my sister struggle with going blind. And I silently suffer cause no one really understands because it sounds crazy. And it is!

At night, my sister moans from pain in her sleep and being in an uncomfortable bed. When I am awake and I hear her ( I usually try to keep an ear out in case she needs me to help her to the bathroom), the entity does stuff to my genitals (buzz or burns sensations) to make it seem like it turns me on and even says “I see it turns you on” “you are not a mother” or something disgusting to that extent. Much like my father, the entity would do the same thing when my father would talk loud and groans walking into the kitchen in the middle of the night to smoke or get something to eat. And it would go on talking about it like these are my natural reactions. These are my family members!!!!

My conclusion was that it was trying to make my home life at my parents unbareable (sexually disgusting) so I would run out / runaway much like it did at my job. At the time I worked with teens and the entity would call me a child molestor and try to make it seem like magically one day I woke up one. I ran away from my job. I told my coworker that it was because of my sister but ….. Really it was because of that very friegtening expierenced and I thought that leaving would help. But it didn’t. 

So it ran me out my job definitely, interfered with my relationships (super imposing on what people said ect.), and wants to run me out of my families home. It even tried dangling my ex (twin flame) saying I leave I would get him back. No thank you!

But why?

Where is the lesson? I don’t see it.

I think we as humans and or the entity will eventually make a reason on a whim ….. (It says “i cant wait till she sees”), But I will never ever get this one. I’m pretty decent at looking at different perspectives ….. That’s usually how I forgive. But this one. This one…… This one…..

This one……. 

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10 thoughts on “Purpose? 

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  1. Sorry to hear your having a horrendous time off it. I have had similar sensations in the genatils. Which can be stimulating being a man this can be very obvious and embarrishing. I have then been accused by the voices that I am enjoying myself when I just want to run from the situation in public. I have read some people call them tactile sensations. See attached link with leaflet about them. I wish you peace of mind.
    http://www.nationalparanoianetwork.org/index.php/downloads/category/3-coping-strategies

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    1. I have also thought about men who have to go through this and in public I can only imagine. I guess calling it tactile sensations are a little less vulgar, but I all receive them in my head, my butt, up my leg, sometimes my toes move on their own (least of my problems cause the voice doesn’t say anything about that), or completely jolted me out of my sleep like someone pushed me. They range from buzz to shaking/ rumble my whole body (actually felt like an earthquake) , to pin and needles and general pain. The thing is that the voice usually sends the sensation after it has spoken. It even created yet another game of “I’m not saying anything” where it stills sends these sensations (lighter ones) but I’m not paying attention to it (playing an app game to get my mind off of it). If I don’t notice them it says “oh I guess your not sensitive anymore.” This shit is so dumb and non-purposeful….. I am documenting what is happening to me just in case something happens to me. Also so people know they are not alone cause that helped me in some ways, as well as to just let it out. Are you still dealing with these sensations or have they subsided?

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      1. Mostly subsided, still bit careful around people. Started up meditation and find the sensations changed to light buzz in my body like being tipsy without side effects. The only way I can make sense of it is it is a reflection of issues in my life. Again it’s hard to make sense off. Best of luck dealing with it.

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      2. This has been the case for “regular” folks with kundalini, subconscious material comes forward. With those who hear voices (often the result of too much dopamine) then this material gets animated into voices…or that’s the theory I’m working from. What happens when you can release the stored emotional material? That is what I am most interested in. Do they go away? Or do they cease being negative? Do they transform? This is an area where no one has gone before…least that I know of.

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      3. I really love your prospective on this. I’ve also heard the same thing in different forums. I don’t know if I am experiencing a few things at the same time BUT….. The voice said “its been trying to get this one for a while”, meaning it has tried to make me commit suicide by means of a childhood fear twice before. It wasn’t until it was a perfect storm (break up, moving, moving, friends family dying and being sick) that it really went in for the kill. I was also working with teens so again …. This seems almost like a planned attack than just some spontaneous. The thing is that it took it trying to kill me in order to recognize what this entity has been doing for a while, just quietly and not as often. The voice/ entity has used humor as way to draw me back in. After all these years i have not seen any transformation in this being. Still trying to “get me made” for the same “storyline”. Its only hid behind other people in my life or characters. I’m unsure if this is dopamine levels….. But I want to look into it. I know for sure I am over this whole child abuse stuff from when I was young and my ex twin flame.

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      4. I really love your prospective on this. I’ve also heard the same thing in different forums. I don’t know if I am experiencing a few things at the same time BUT….. The voice said “its been trying to get this one for a while”, meaning it has tried to make me commit suicide by means of a childhood fear twice before. It wasn’t until it was a perfect storm (break up, moving, moving, friends family dying and being sick) that it really went in for the kill. I was also working with teens so again …. This seems almost like a planned attack than just some spontaneous. The thing is that it took it trying to kill me in order to recognize what this entity has been doing for a while, just quietly and not as often. The voice/ entity has used humor as way to draw me back in. After all these years i have not seen any transformation in this being. Still trying to “get me made” for the same “storyline”. Its only hid behind other people in my life or characters. I’m unsure if this is dopamine levels….. But I want to look into it. I know for sure I am over this whole child abuse stuff from when I was young and my ex twin flame story. Its tired and played.

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      5. From what I understand, sczitzophrenia is the result of an inability in the body to properly metabolize dopamine so that it builds up in the brain leading to voices and certain kinds of hallucinations. But kundalini, I have found, most certainly is the result of dopamine spiking. I came upon this through a simple form of careful observations on myself….and quite by accident, came across a forum of sczitzophrenics discussing what happened when they went off their medications. It was quite brilliant really; one man made the connection with kundalini right up until his psychotic break, everything, all of it, was perfectly in line with kundalini. And not just that, but he described the very same portal experience related to the third eye which was exactly as I had experienced it. All of his descriptions were like listening to my own experience. And there he was, his friends chiming in and explaining how they had experienced the same things…right up to the point if the break, that line where the dopamine had overloaded the body and the voices began. For most this took two weeks, just enough time to experience what dopamine does to consciousness, helping it to be recognized in the body experience.
        If I am right, then the voices are an amplified version of what we all experience as the subconscious material becomes more conscious. This that is called “shadow work” which means healing the past stuff. And if the voices say negative things, then the material may well be there still. So doing release therapy might well tell the tale. TRE is one method, which is our own way to release the “ghosts” of trauma past. And who knows, it could also be an entity…and after all my work related to entity removal, the entity ALWAYS attaches to those past emotional traumas, attracted to what is like it. Thus, the entity becomes like a sign showing the nature of the wound within. But that work, which we each can do (I released four all in one fail swoop and quickly, too). I would think that this kind of work might be revelatory for you and others who deal with this. Hang in there, and blessings on your journey!

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      6. Sounds great! Someone mentioned shadow work and the dark night of the soul and such. If like attracts like, and honestly then I should have a pretty cool buddy to hang out with cause I don’t think I’m that terrible of a person to be honest. This voice has popped up a few times before as ghosts (I didn’t realize it til now) I’m not a medium…. But whatever this is not like me and seems to be the opposite and wants me to die, “so it can have another human”. Soooooooooooooooo……….. Yea. Def need therapy for all of this …. This basically traumatized the trauma….. I did not find this helpful but only found the way in which my mind was being played with. But Yea… Thank you for your perspective and I will look into the TRE method I was researching dopamine and found your piece of adrenaline from 2014 great post. Health and healing to you as well.

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      7. Well, no, it isn’t that you are like the entity, but that there is a buried trauma based in that entity and it’s underlying personality trait. Sounds like it’s a kind of loathing to me…not good enough (which of course you ARE good enough) but if you ever felt like you weren’t and then shoved that feeling down regardless of its being true, you have that feeling rattling around inside…and THAT could be whats attracting the entity. Feelings are often irrational, don’t make sense, but haunt us until we can dispense with them. Just wanted to clear that up lest you think I was suggesting something I wasn’t.

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      8. Thanks for clearing that up. I guess because of the topics it has chosen with the child hood fear of being abused and becoming one child, its just a fear and an oooold one decades. But it just won’t stop. So I just don’t get it. I don’t think any child thinks “when I grow up I wanna be a terrible person”. Either way I get what you are saying. I try to have a balance of self worth and esteem and this thing did hit me when I was/ am low. I just don’t know how to get back to life I’m loosing friends because I’m afraid to be around anyone. Thank you for the info.

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