I am unsure of this entity’s purpose in my life.
Why does it need access to me? How and what gives it the right?
I read an article on entity removal and the woman talked about negotiating and trying to understand why the entity is there. But unfortunately the entity diflects from answering any questions truthfully and when I was speaking to someone who does exorcisms the entity would not speak directly to the person. One woman who was a “light worker”, asked it to leave and the only answer the entity gave was, “I’m not done yet.”
But I’m done.
No straightforward answers. Just lies, terrible suggestions (like leaving my family in their time of need) and horrible images and sensations.
I use to have a really good sense of direction when taking walks and such and now I find myself getting lost more often or going in circles. So even daily walks are difficult. It takes more effort not to go in the wrong direction because this entity is jibber jabbin and putting anxiety in my chest all day.
I say if I was an entity or something like that I would go to a far off land and chill on an island or something like that…… at best help someone through their struggle because life throws you enough curve balls. But this one….. This one popped up full blown right before everything went wrong in my life.
But it’s not everything going “wrong” in my life that is the problem. I’ve learned to roll with the punches but this is like being punched in the face every moment of everyday. And if I click off, the entity starts to pretend to be me inside my head and force me to respond/ interact with it.
The spiritual community wants to be all like, send it love… Send it light….. But I’ve ran out of love. And it keeps me from forming new bonds with anyone because I’m unsure of what might happen. But more so it will use the new relationship against me.
So why is it here? It says “I need to learn my lesson”. (Which is bullshit) But won’t tell me what the lesson is. I need a syllabus for this shit.
I don’t see the lesson in repeating my ex (twin flames) name over 500 times a day, I don’t see the purpose of showing me images of child abuse and then making fun of it or me if I get scared, I don’t see the purpose of telling/ strongly suggesting urges to commit suicide, then telling me to move away, I am unsure of the purpose of it trying to act like its my God, I don’t see the purpose of saying I’m fat and ugly all day, or threatening my family, I am unsure of why it stays where it is unwanted.
There are plenty of people who play with energy and entity’s and what have you so why doesn’t it go there?
Why is it here during this time in my life? Watching my family struggle to rehabilitate from strokes and heart attacks, deaths in the family, seeing my sister struggle with going blind. And I silently suffer cause no one really understands because it sounds crazy. And it is!
At night, my sister moans from pain in her sleep and being in an uncomfortable bed. When I am awake and I hear her ( I usually try to keep an ear out in case she needs me to help her to the bathroom), the entity does stuff to my genitals (buzz or burns sensations) to make it seem like it turns me on and even says “I see it turns you on” “you are not a mother” or something disgusting to that extent. Much like my father, the entity would do the same thing when my father would talk loud and groans walking into the kitchen in the middle of the night to smoke or get something to eat. And it would go on talking about it like these are my natural reactions. These are my family members!!!!
My conclusion was that it was trying to make my home life at my parents unbareable (sexually disgusting) so I would run out / runaway much like it did at my job. At the time I worked with teens and the entity would call me a child molestor and try to make it seem like magically one day I woke up one. I ran away from my job. I told my coworker that it was because of my sister but ….. Really it was because of that very friegtening expierenced and I thought that leaving would help. But it didn’t.
So it ran me out my job definitely, interfered with my relationships (super imposing on what people said ect.), and wants to run me out of my families home. It even tried dangling my ex (twin flame) saying I leave I would get him back. No thank you!
Where is the lesson? I don’t see it.
I think we as humans and or the entity will eventually make a reason on a whim ….. (It says “i cant wait till she sees”), But I will never ever get this one. I’m pretty decent at looking at different perspectives ….. That’s usually how I forgive. But this one. This one…… This one…..