Feeding off fear

I have heard in many forums that these “entities” “feed off fear”. From my observation it does not feed off fear but installs a false sense of fear or anxiety or even love or happiness.

I use the example of fear or shock when I was about to drop something on my toe or when I saw my mother about fall. That was REAL fear and real anxiety. Instant response. 

The fear (or many of the other feeling that this entity tries to create) starts in the chest or the head. A thought (negative usually) accompanied by almost a shock to the chest or a thumping. Maybe a rush of heat or a headache. Maybe even crying for no reason. This are emotions created and it is your “choice” to run with them or allow them to “stick” or run a reason for them. 

It is not however your choice that you are expierencing them (if induced by an entity). 

The entity tries to play mind games to say that if it were to leave that I would be numb (die, have no memories, no creativity, no emotions ect), that I would feel nothing. I am very much aware of my own set of emotions and doubt that. However this is taking a toll on my nerves and body constantly feeling 1000 different negative emotions/ thoughts/ sensation and my body unable to protect itselve. 

So for example: (that happened just now as I’m writing this) The entity started playing the Bruno Mars lyrics, “I should have bought you flowers” and my first thought was why is it playing this to me? (My focus is writing this post, which prior to this expierence would not have been a problem) It then …. I guess… Super imposed a thought/ image of my ex (from the twin flame story line) and then put this anxiety feeling in my chest with a little bit of jitter/buzz. So now I feel weak… Its been two years since we broke up and it only 11am. 

So when I believed in the Twin Flame storyline, this would happen A LOT. I didn’t know what was happening to me I just knew it didn’t make sense. I fell for the storyline because I thought maybe this was a “love” I could not control…. That it was my body and not my mind or heart. That this was what happens when you really fall in love chemically. This is what cause me to become obsessed. To understand why this person was making me feel this way. But it was not him or me. It was this entity. 

So WHY does this entity play with false emotions and sensations if they are not real? Its not real FEAR that it feeds off of.

I’ve always wanted to think the best of most situations. But I have not figured out this one. 

People say its OK to feel emotions and it is. However stepping back is important. I did not feel connected to these emotion and its not to say that one needs to always. Detaching from the emotions have not helped stop the entity from installing them. However it has made me be more aware of the ways in which this entity tries to control. 

Now this entity has created a negative emotional, mental and physical environment in order to make me commit suicide. Since it wasn’t the twin flame, it moved on to child molestation (which I attempted suicide twice), and since I didnt do it then and I said no more, now its basing my fear off it having complete control over me. 

I also hear in many forums to “surrender“, but surrender to what? It is not God (although it would like to fashion itself to be). So you are surrendering your body to what? And why? 

I have said a few times “fine take my body and make me jump off a bridge yourself!”. It said it can not kill me. I believe this to be true because it has not as of yet. It just threatens me and my family all day. So if I won’t commit suicide and it won’t kill me (since it wants to basically commit depraved heart murder) I am unsure of its exisance and why it is still here.

It dangle what I call carrots in order to keep control. So getting back with my ex (twin flame) was one, even though I didn’t care, it had to create a whole story line (via Isis and Osirus story) in order to suck me in to believing in something so it can the degrade me in order to keep control. Now its my happiness. It flashes images of when I was healthy and working out…. That one day this will all end and I will be back to normal. The entity says, “ONE MORE YEAR!”….. But it said the same thing last year….. And I realized that it has been here since I was young and if it hasn’t done what it came here to do …. Then maybe it should just give up. Because I’m done.

I will never be normal again after this. After the images I’ve seen. The feelings I felt. The expierence of being psychically raped every night. Having my imagination which I loved turned into an uncontrollable nightmare. That I questioned every thought, everything I’ve ever heard or done.

There is no going back. There is no reward. And I wouldn’t want it anyway. 

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