“I Am God”

So the entity often tries to say he is God. I have always left 10% for the possibility that I may be wrong but I am 90% sure this thing has nothing to do with God or anything good. 

The entity then talked about the burning bush and Moses sacrificing his son. Just as I have seen images/third eye/ hallucinations the entity connected the burning bush Moses saw to my own hallucinations. Then connecting my expierenece to moses sacrificing his son. And then said all religion is bullshit. (PS. Moses didn’t sacrifice his son it was Abraham but I knew that was wrong. I just had to double check) 

I will not say my faith is the strongest. I don’t really need a book to have faith in God. I do believe in God. I will admit the bible has always kinda scared me. Now even more so since the entity will twists its meaning and words around. I have always questioned my existence since I was young. But the fact that this entity trys to twist everything to make itself a god just …… I don’t know…. Makes me know its not of God. 

Last year when I was deeeeeeeep in the illusion the entity had this whole play about mustard seeds. I had prayed hard for my family and men in my life and for me to get out of this situation. It had pinned my mother and my coworker against each other in a battle of religions. And acted as my mother who then in a vision threw a nutmeg see at my coworker. I later looked up what a nutmeg seed meant and it represented the faith of Islam. Mind you my coworker is not Muslim. The entity also played out this whole elaborate story of how people were trying to steal a mustard seed of faith from with inside me. (Yes I know) it made it hard to be at work or even take the train. There were multiple twisted storylines playing out and ultimately resulting in my resignation from my job. (I miss my coworkers so much.) 

The twisted plays included my ex (twin flame Isis/ Osiris) play, Mustard seed (religion and magic) play, Child abuse (which was some how was connected to political news/ family) and I was suppose to “die of molestation” (suicide) in some contract for a past life. There were multiple storylines that wove into each other and when it didn’t make sense the entity would just try to make it make sense or blow my mind up with confusion or trying to make me feel like shit.

I felt like shit either way. Still do.

More or less the “play” has boiled down to me and this entity. I’m not committing suicide and it won’t leave. However the quality of my life has diminished not because I do not have my bare essentials met but more because this Entity just talks all day nonstop, visions and suggestions (which are unusually twisted, fucked up and gross) and messing with my body and mind. So this prevents me from connecting with my loved ones or anyone really. 

I feel gross and there is a sense of guilt for having this entity follow me around (I’ve isolated myself).  My sister (who is disabled and I had to help her) went to visit her best friend and her new baby and I chose to take a walk for 3 hours instead of staying around because I didn’t want to be around the baby with this thing….. I didn’t want the entity around the baby as well.

I am unsure of the point of this entities existance. I am trying to trust in the grand scheme of things. But currently I don’t get it and prolly never will. 

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