Reading Rainbows

So one thing that has become more and more difficult other than sustaining meaningful and deep relationships is reading. I have never been a grammar Nazi or a book worm but I like reading a good book or article. 

Since this shit has happened it has become harder and harder to read anything as simple as a a Facebook post. I have to reread things because “the voice” / entity spirit thing “suggests” other words or concepts to fit into his “storyline” or just to make me feel like shit (either not being able to now read or switching up the words to degrade me). 

It’s already difficult scrolling through my Facebook but its my only source of human connection right now. So when words and images, debates are then “used against me” its just one more check on the list of things that make me tired. 

This first began when the voice/entity pretended to be my mom and told me to read the Bible, I tried and it started reading ahead of me making fun of me calling me a slow reader. It did other things as I read the bible but that’s not the point.

Something very similar happened when watching movies, listening to music or conversations. But because this thing can read ahead of me it can change words around. 

Point is that it is cutting me off…. Reading… Imagination_creativity, people, true emotions, safety, health, vitality, lively hood….. And I’m tired. 

Reading and imagination is how many people relax unwind express themselves. 

As I right this he says that he “suggests” words or ideas here or there…. To show he has control…

I never cared about control. 

 

5 thoughts on “Reading Rainbows

  1. Hi!It’s me,the one who asked for your birth chart details to give you insight.Sorry for the really long wait,life has a way of keeping people ever busy.While digging in your chart,I found out that you have a yod.

    This can be the cause of a lot of issues in your life.Having a yod formation on your birth chart is very rare and has an effect in pulling your life in several directions at once.Many great people have it and also some not so great,great people like Adolf Hitler who has a golden yod in his chart.Yod comes with conflicting energies strong enough to make or Mar a person depending on choices.It also carries with it a strong element of fate.People with yod have a feeling of being destined for something and this is right,Destiny calls on them.The yod is also called finger of God.Sometime you can feel destiny itself controlling your life dramatically.The pull of fate I strong.

    There are usually massive events that can alter the life of someone who has a yod.Also they are very talented.The life of such person can also seem drastically different between various periods in their lives as if being separate person’s.They can do great things of massive scale in this world.

    I found out that I have three yods in my chart which is mega extremely rare,so I also share this traits and more.Some people consider yods to be badluck especially multiple yods (which I have).But one thing us certain they can bring a crazy level if power into ones lives via destiny and also causes anxious and confused energy in some points of yod bearer’s lives(mostly at young age and they learn to manage the energy well during ages rising to middle age).

    I suggest you can read up more on yod.It also suggests past life influences (like i guessed before).I also noted that you had four planets in retrograde,check that out as well.It is also significant with past lives and places lacking in personality and life(possible).
    If I had a means to,i would like to send you the picture format of the bits and pieces of what you birth chart had shown.

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    1. Thanks so much for the reading!!! I will look up more on yods. As for past lives I am having a hard time believing in them because this “entity” voice said I raped 57 children in a past life and at that point I started calling all the bullshit. I can not see how if at the essences my soul is good that I would even do such a thing. I also do not see why the effects of a life I (myself) will never know the details of should trust this as fact or allow my present life to be altered by events I know nothing about. So while I have struggle through my present life I have also tried to make the best of it I could and tried to be good to people (not perfect). I have never felt destiny calling me. I’ve always gone with the flow for the most part…. I found life easier that way. But this voice…. This entity is my true struggle because I am unable to be in a flow….. I am halted, influenced, degraded. I’ve known about the planets in retro grade as well but for the most part I had to put A LOT of my metaphysical ideas away because the entity will play with ANY concept or situation to make me feel terrible or to use against me. So I just gave up my philosophical mind and imagination to address this situation. This is just my situation my ideas for now…. Thanks again for the reading! Also what kind of yod do I have?

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    1. Thank you for your suggestion. Ive tried different releasing techniques both on my own as well as through a shaman and reiki healer with out much avail. The topics or “control” it has have not changed only the volume sometimes.

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