1. This voice / entity does not really matter.
2. The voice/ entity wants to feel like it has control over me/ important through me.
3. It has been with me since I can recall 15 years old (when I moves to NYC).
4. It popped out 2 times posing as ghosts of dead relatives. 1 time as a dead author and the final blow as “telepathic” communication with those around me specifically my ex (who thought to be a “twin flame”).
5. It has only called me a child molestor when I have broken up and no longer in a relationship.
6. It wants me to “go home” / “go to god” meaning it wants me to kill myself and have put “strong suggestions” to jump or take a lot of pills. (Which I don’t want to).
7. It uses images of child abuse to control me/ break me to the point of suicide.
8. It called me a child molestor to get me to quit my job and “remove me away from people so no one would care or remember me” essentially isolate me from what I love and who I love so it can force me to commit suicide.
9. It trys to give a different meaning to everything I do.
10. It threatens those I love.
11. It is one entity that tried to act as many different ones (ie. Personification, dead relatives, ghosts, spirits, angels, incubus, “aliens”, demons, or telepathic communication).
12. The only time this spirit entity was actually quiet was when I was about attempt suicide after “suggesting” it multiple times. The images of child abuse (to put it lightly) was a means to get me to the brink of suicide. It hides behinds images + ideas and sensations to make sure that it is unknown. The question I have are;
- Why is it trying to make me commit suicide by those means? (When there are actual terrible people in the world)
- What does this thing get out of it?
13. It always wants to “play” as much as it says “I’m not the one to play with”.
14. It is everything that I am NOT
15. Says it has known me since I was a child but, visions/ memories are from a different perspective. And doesn’t know certain details like why I tried to commit suicide when I was a teen or the syntar song my mom wrote and sang to me as a child.
(Will update more later)