I never asked anyone what they would do in my situation.
Q: You love your job, coworkers, interns (teens), community, and one day out of no where a voice starts to call you a child molestor every moment of the day. What do you do?
I quit my job, because I couldn’t be around children while I was having this experience. I sought help, spiritually…. Medically. Nothing helped. But I gave up part of what I love, my identity, my creativity, my joy to address this.
But what would you do?
Was I supposed to “preserver” as the voice has said? How do you push through something like that? There has been no end in sight.
Why me? As someone who adores children wants to create a world where they are safe…. Why me? As someone who was working with teens to make the community better…. Why me? I always wonder if I actually flipped my shit at my job (I suffered in silence for months hoping it would go away) when I look back and think….. wonder if I really flipped my shit and went complete psycho and believed the dulluisions to the point of reaction? Its scary. But I left.
The voice didn’t.