I was sleeping …. Over sleeping
The entity showed me an upshot of a girls panties half way off. I have never seen anything like this nor do I want to. I wasn’t sure if it was to wake me up or to be a complete fucking piece of shit.
I woke up and then said I don’t care…..he tried to force me to cry.… I asked him to stop.
I rolled over in my bed and said I don’t care anymore because nothing is going to stop this for some reason. He called me a pedophile again for the 500 billionth time. I said a pedophile is someone who enjoys it. This is rape.
Im like fuck it this makes me wanna smoke a whole pack of cigarettes again… The entity told me to “go smoke it and die. You are just like your mom”
It threatened me in other ways but I have no idea what emotion to feel. Yestureday I was more funny…. Like I was making fun of how ridiculous this has all been…. But waking up to some pedophile shit just ruined a already pretty shitty week. Im not going to see my mom in the hospital, I am no going to therapy today.. It doesn’t make it go away…. It doesn’t make any level of this manageable or forgivable.