To Have and to Hold

“If you get rid of me you will never have anyone to have and to hold.” 

He switches between it meaning marriage and children, and accepting that I need to “hold” him as an “entity” or spirit which is why he disguised himself as my ex (who I thought was my “twin flame”). 

He said, “Wait for your ex for the rest of your life.” 

As I said in previous posts marriage and children, the house…. the car was never my priority. Mainly being deeply rooted in love, self love, love for what I do, then love for the people around me and my communities, while understanding that I am human (both perfect in my own right and imperfect.) But something being rooted in love and growing in and from love. 

“You loose! You will never have anyone to have and to hold!” I asked why? “Because I don’t want to!”

So this entity/spirit thing doesn’t want me to get with anyone because it doesn’t want to get with anyone. Which doesn’t make sense because this is MY LIFE.

If this entity doesn’t want to “get with anyone” wouldn’t the logical choice would be to leave my life?

The entity said he could leave and go where ever he wants, whenever he wants, that he is only here because he is not “done yet”, even though he has been here over a decade. 

I asked him if he can leave and doesn’t need or is attached to me the walk down the street and tell me the name of the store on a specific street that I have never been to. If he could foretell the future, he can move around freely then he could tell me what is the name of the store on that corner.

You were trying to change your track!” , referring to wanting marriage and children. I said by being in a queer relationship or being with a man who didn’t want marriage or children? 

I am unsure of what the point of this entity thing being here. Although he uses every detail of my life as an excuse to cling on. But I’m really starting to think that there isn’t a really a point than its own agenda to “survive” through whatever means it must need to. Obesession, mental/health, addictions, hatred, self hatred, fear, …. Whatever means you can identify.

While I know there is a level of control I/ we must give up, I don’t think that it means that one must give up the creation of their life, as well as their state of being regardless of their environment or circumstance.

The state of being ….. LOVE.

What is the opposite of fear is LOVE. 

The “devil” is I lie, a lie is confusion, confusion keeps you in fear, fear separates. 

God is Love. God is present. 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s