How Gay You Are


Because I am no longer “attached” to my ex (formally thought was my twin flame), this entity is saying. 

Now you are gay.

I’m so gay for (or after) this

Prior to my ex I had only been in “queer” relationships and that’s where I found my community. Actually that is why my parents kicked me out. But I maintained on my own for a decade and worked hard to repair my relationship with my family.

My ex (queer soul mate) prior to my to my ex (“tf”) and I are still friends…. We support each other and I am glad that my soulmate is still in my life. 

What’s kinda strange is that although my soulmate relationship was a wonderful 5 year and I still identify as “queer”, I actually don’t seek “queer” relationships. I feel pretty heterosexual which is something that was strange for me but I accepted it as it was. 

This made it kinda difficult to date as I was not keen to the difference between dating “queer” and not. Also I would need to be with someone who would at least understand where I’m coming from culturally/ politically/ psychology …. Meaning I didn’t have a lot experience dating men. But if its real…. You don’t need all of that. 

I’ve joked and said I would be Asexual, because I thought I would never find the one. I also joked and said I would be a nun. But I also joked and agreed to marry my best friend. Although this “entity” spirit tries to keep me “asexual” and in fear by saying he will “make me die to child molestation” which means he flashes random gross thoughts to keep me both in fear and all to to himself so he can “play”. 

Why can’t I play in peace!!!!!” He just screamed as I write this and my ears start to ring. 

Please just wait for me….” I have no idea what that means. 

Either way I want to get rid of this thing. I don’t care about the “magic” or the material objects or my ex that he dangles in front if me…. Saying he will give my blessings away.

I’m just done with the bullshit.

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