The spirit said, “I’m actually being very nice here, I’m just waiting for you to fuck up so I can get you out of here (suicide).”
“Take your moms place.”
“Why are you lord have mercy.” he said as soon as I woke up in this morning. (Lord have mercy is something my mom says a lot)
11/23 Dream Log: I had a dream about my ex where I was hiding inside of a house and he was outside in a rally. Then some kid that knew visited inside and was happy to see me and flipped me over (which would be impossible) and I basically was on conscious. Something about the room being a home theater. Then I got dress and there was a group of people walking (both my exs) one way we go another way, I was trying to talked to one but some one moved us away I tried to talk to my firstbex and someone interrupted. Something about me drinking On in a deli. But I was kinda scared of ex. In my dreams when he is there he seems more….. “Zombie” like than say my other friends or people I don’t know that are in my dreams which is kinda scary. Like no eye contact, or expressions…. like a robot. I’ve only had 3 or 4 dreams with him in it but each were unlike my dreams and overwhelming.
I was passing by my dad and the spirit tried to make me feel like I saw his genitals and then put a warm feeling on my butt. Gross and insane. Making it really uncomfortable to interact with my father.
Mentally looking to see if the spirit is still there.
“I’m not saying anything.” He said. Even though I can notice his suggestions and physically feel him in my body even if he stayed “quiet”.
“You don’t want me to get rid of you?” I said.
“You can’t” he said.
“Fuck that!” The spirit said.
“Do you want (“twin flame”)? He asked.
“I don’t care”
“Believe me when I say he goes away. No move away from here.” He said.
“I don’t have to move away at all. You should leave my house and my home.” I said.
“I don’t want you to run into him. I don’t want to see him at all.”
“He will show up one day.” He said and showed an image of my ex (TF) pointing a gun in my face as I open the door. He had shown me that image before but I’m not scared of it.
I will fight no matter what it takes. I feel bad for my ex in a way. Knowing that this thing is attached to me…. I wonder if it hurt him like it hurt me. That this spirit used him image and his name to do this to me. I just hope he is ok. Part of the reason I’m willing to stay away…. For me and for him.
Step one: get rid of this negative force in my body, home and life.
I have had negative things go down all my life but not quit like this.
“You are so basic.” He just said.
“If I’m so basic why are you here?”