Laying down

I tried to keep calm while my mom was in the hospital. She had a heart attack…. And I did everything in my power to keep my composure…. Not to step into fear. Kept it positive. And I laid down for a bit… And the same “buzz” sensation came over me specifically my genitals. Like an orgasm… But not. 

He wouldn’t tell me why he did that. It had been a while since he did and I had to fight the urge to masterbate. 

Soon after I was drained and tired. I had worked for a few days on my energy, thoughts, not playing into the game, hopes and wishes. Just trying to keep it level and then the spirit comes in and “steals” my energy. 

I know I won’t totally understand this experience…. But I am trying to do what is best for me.

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