Making a meaning out of life. 

So… I know your suppose to “just experience life” ….. But what happens when everything is stripped from you? 

Who am I? 

What am I? 

Why am I even here? And not just here birthed on this earth but in this present moment whether it is fleeting or perpetual state of being. 

How do I welcome the things that I actually want in my life? Or is this idea of even wanting, or attracting a privileged western idea of deserving? 

Am I deserving? 

Rebuilding? Love? Self love? Community? Life? Basic needs? What are basic? 

My creativity has been dulled… So has my sexual drive. I feel dry… Not necessarily uninspired but…. Dry. Afraid…but not scared. Wounded. 

I’m looking for my motivation to come back. My drive… Happiness. Direction. A conclusion… Or comfort. 

Am I deserving of comfort? 

The spirit… Voice … Looks for anyway in. That’s how he “plays”. 

He said, “you have been replaces” 

Me “by who?”

Him, “someone more deserving” 

Me, “says who?”

Him, (my twin flames name) 

Me, “who said I was talking of him? ”

So…. He will find anyway to make me feel bad… Even as I work through my shit. 

Am I deserving of this experience? 

Hearing a voice constantly berate me? Killing my vibe. Destroying will and removing everything I held dear.

The great escape…. 

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