All of 2016 has been this depletion of my energy. I’m use to a certain level of energy that I’m having a difficulty obtaining again. 

I went out with my friend the other night had two beers and some pizza and it was the first time I had gone out for socializing in maybe a month or so. 

Originally I was dating to maintain that social vibe but it became too much for me emotionally to maintain still having feelings for my ex. 

Either way. I met up with my friend and the next day I was completely wiped out. The voice has quieted down although I can still notice when my mind is being “steered” . 

There are moments I feel the release… I feel normal like the grips around my head let up. But this experience has wiped me out. I’m just wondering how much longer this will go on. 

Its like two different dialogs…. I’m writing in a somewhat single stream of thought and then there is this other random dialog that deals with my wounds that are still going on…. 

I still feel this pressure on my head even though I had a scan of my brain and everything came out ok. A constant headache. 

Not sure how to proceed. 

Missing my ex and needing get back to a healthier version of myself. 

Is missing him unhealthy for me? And if so how do I heal? How do I get back my energy? Do I wait and watch time just pass by? 


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