The Power of Words

Do words have power? Or do we give them power? Does something else give them power? Meaning? 

I wrote earlier about how my father called his sister a dyke and would make fun of them only to find out I was queer some years later. I wonder if that affected “me”. But beyond that do we “curse” each other and ourselves with words? With out even knowing. Sending negativity to ourselves and others.

One of my coworkers had talked about having a “work boyfriend” and I had jokingly told my ex (“twin flame”) that, he was afraid to bring me to his job cause he didn’t want me to meet his work girlfriend. He laughed… I did too… I was totally joking. But after we broke up he apparently got into a relationship bwith someone at his job. Even though I was being silly, did I make this happen? 

Even though I didn’t see this a negative thing it did some how show its face again. Funny enough it didn’t really trigger me. What triggered me is that we weren’t getting back together. 

When I was a child, small small maube 5 years old before my mom had told me anything about my father. I watched a movie… I think it was “When harry met sally” or “Sleepless in Seattle”  one of those movies from the 80s and the woman professed that she didn’t want to have babies because she the world was scary or there were too many children in the world with out mothers or something like that. I remember hearing that and telling my mom that I wanted to adapt when I get older cause there were children with out mothers. Now that I have gotten my period for the first time and actually loved a man its kinda funny that this spirit come up saying “you are not a mother”. Did I curse myself? 

As a child I use to call my sister “crypol” only to be cute… her name is crystal… But recently my sister had a stroke and is unable to tend to herself. I currently take care of her along with my mother. Did I curse her? Was it my words at the age of 6 or 7 that did this? 

These are just a few examples of MANY ironic trials and tribulations that have popped up during my life. And that were accounted for. 

So is word more powerful than intention? Or is it interpretation? And by whom? 

People read the bible to be emersed in the word of God. To fill their cells with stories… The lessons. But I never read the bible fully and believe just the same…. Served just the same. So ….

Does keeping a positive mind help us dodge this ironic story being told? 

I believe in God…. I haven’t believed in prayer. That’s where I struggle in my faith. I never prayed for something before really. But I prayed for my sister to get better. I prayed. And then I stopped because the voice/spirit/ entity was distracting me too much.

I lack a discipline that has always accompanied me through out my life. I allowed it because I thought of myself as “creative” but and the more minor things were fine but major life things always seemed like something got in the way. 

Can one negative thought come true? In a sea of positive thoughts and actions?

In the essense of power of words I told the spirit to leave out loud. He didn’t. I prayed he didn’t. So all I can do now is try to heal from the pain that he has caused me. Pain that I thought was healed and dealt with. New pain..  Physical pain. 

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