What have I done to deserve this? 


I know I’m not the person in the world. I’ve done some things but overall tried to maintain a good and forgiving person. 

“I want you to die of child molestation.”

I cried for months ran away from my job gave friends up food housing lovers …. Just for this to stop. 

I don’t know why this spirit waits until I lost a lover or job to taunt me. 

I’ve tried to maintain good thoughts… Prayer..  Meditation…. I’ve gone to psychics, church, tried to maintain a healthy lifestyle nothing seems to work. 

Over 10 years. 

Sometimes when I’m speaking I say something and then I wonder if I just said that. 

I can’t watch TV, or sleep, social media. All once were stress relief become difficult to engage in. 

I can’t say words anymore with out it being a trigger.

My genitals or head are then burned or a buzzing feeling. 

I know what’s real…. Kinda sorta… 

And less than year ago this was not the case.

Its like it enters through the pain of a lover. Slowly chipping away and taunting you with both truth and lies. Nawing at the pain.

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