Since the beginning of the year it has been a slippery slop into a rabbit hole. Sometimes he is nice maybe 10℅ of the time but most of the times I am being called names, told what to do. Using curses, childhood fears, weaknesses to control me for really no good reason.
I am unsure what this entity is demon, archon. But I am having a hard time accepting this as just mental illness. This is because he doesn’t even think like me or have the same information as me … Memories I’ve never seen before. So how could this be me. He never answers any questions. There are no straight answers. Just a bunch of lies and confusion.
Often he would come through as other people in my life having me believe I have a telepathic connection. However the only one that has remained was the voice of my ex …. My weakness.
Never fully being able to heal, he disects my previous relationship blaming and accounting for everything manipulating memories in anyway to make me feel bad…. Miss him.
List of Demands: (just a few)
- Don’t smoke
- Don’t eat meat
- Actually don’t eat at all
- Quit your job
- Cut all your hair
- Commit suicide “human sacrifice”
- Move home
- Move again out of state “I don’t want to be here”
- I want you to go crazy
- Drink water
- Don’t drink water “I’m blessing your ears”
- Wait for your ex to come back “for the rest of your life”
- Don’t date/ have sex this new person “I will turn you into a pedophile”
- Don’t pray “you are cursing everyone”
- Don’t go to church
- Don’t masterbate (but send feels of orgasms or hyper sexual thoughts)
- Don’t drink alcohol
- Loose weight
- Don’t loose weight “I want you to be fat, you will never be pretty, you are old there are guys better looking than you.”
- Don’t look at children
- Don’t have children (you will never be a mother)
- Don’t look at anyone
- Don’t look in the mirror
- Don’t listen to music
- Don’t tell anyone
- Delete your Facebook/ email accounts (no trace of me online)