He tells me god bless.
He wants to usher me out of the world.
Out of life.
“Go Home all the way”. He screams.
I moved back to my parents. Apparently that wasn’t home.
I felt my forehead vibrate each time. As if I megaphone was on my temple.
I feel my blood pressure rise.
What do you do when you don’t want to commit suicide but everyday you are being told to Go Home … Heaven or hell… To be a human sacrifice.
Everyday I breathe it away …. Smoke a lot of cigarettes….and he takes my breath… My life… My force…. My will…. Literally suffocating me ….
Sometimes I hear him in my head or on the TV … Echoes outside my window.
Medicine has yet to fix… Mediation there is no peace.
I’m trying to hold on.